A Leadership Experiment on Non-Verbal Communication

It’s easy to overestimate the importance of verbal communication, without paying appropriate attention to our tone, body language, and/or facial expression. I’m not saying that words aren't important, but we also need to recognize how much we are communicating non-verbally.

Anyone who’s ever spent time with a sullen teenager knows the power of non-verbal communication.

On Sunday, over Father’s Day dinner, my own little 17-year-old cherub did an outstanding job of communicating his opinion of me without uttering a single word. And, if you’re curious, his opinion at that particular moment was that I’m an arse.

We humans are pretty darn arrogant. We share 99% of our DNA with chimps who do a great job of communicating without words and we evolved for millions of years as walking apes ourselves before language burst onto the scene. Yet we think we’re so darn clever with our long words!

It’s hardly surprising that Albert Mehrabian’s oft misquoted research showed that body language, facial expression and tone of voice were far more powerful in communication than we were aware. He found that, when dealing with communications relating to attitudes and emotions, the degree to which we like someone depends 38% on their tone and 55% on their body language but only 7% on words used.

If words comprise as little as 7% of our impact on an audience why do we spend so much time on our PowerPoint slides?

Do you think Martin Luther King's 'I have a dream' speech would have had the same impact if he gave it slumped and monotone over a lectern? What about the impact of Obama's State of the Union speech if he spoke like Kevin from accounts?

Today’s leadership communication experiment encourages you to explore how your tone and body language may be contributing to your communication – for either better or for worse. Enjoy, let me know what you discover and, if you find this article helpful, please share it.

Your Leadership Experiment

1) In front of a mirror, say the phrase, “I love your presentation. You’ve done a great job.” Notice your tone of voice. Now say the same thing again, but this time dripping with sarcasm. Notice your tone. Then say it as if you’ve just found a winning lottery ticket in a ball of mush in the washing machine. Notice your tone. Finally, say it as if you’re speaking to a beloved child… a crucial client… your hero. Notice your tone.

2) In front of a mirror give the first minute of ANY presentation. Check your body language and facial expressions. Look out for low-status body language like hunched shoulders, jittery eye contact, lowered gaze, making yourself small, shuffling your feet or wringing your hands.

Next, try it again using high-status body language - plant your feet, hold your arms comfortably at waist height, make clear eye contact with your chin up and shoulders back. Aim to have a relaxed smile.