LEADERSHIP AND EMPATHY

LEADERSHIP AND EMPATHY

What comes to mind when you think about leadership? Even though Leadership has become a buzzword in our society today, one major essence of leadership—people management—isn’t properly understood nor harnessed anymore. Some see leadership as a word that infers power on an individual to oppress and dominate others.

Meanwhile, leadership isn’t just about aposition or the imposition of a leader’s will over a hired few/followers. The popular quote by John C Maxwell; “Leadership is Influence—nothing more, nothing less” sums up succinctly the crux of leadership. One important tool in the leadership toolbox is Empathy—the ability of the leader to create deep connection (beyond just getting the work done) with team members.??

Simon Sinek once said, “I’ve never met a CEO who thinks people aren’t important.” People management and satisfaction come first in any effective leadership. If you don’t teach a set of leaders to build a connection with the led, what you have is a disconnect in progress, growth, and sustainability. Great leaders inspire action out of followers, not nag over all mistakes or errors they make in the process of carrying out a duty. Hence, the real job of a leader isn’t to exert force and control on people, the workers' emotions and well-being notwithstanding. Leadership is first people management, properly nurturing and exploring the potential in the followers. A true leader masters the act of taking care of those in his charge, not using them.

According to Kendra Cherry, “Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else’s position and feeling what they are feeling.”. Here’s where true leadership is revealed! Although we are constantly aware of our individual emotional needs, getting down to experience and share someone else’s pain always seems far-reaching and difficult. Meanwhile, people feel safe under a leader “who can walk a mile or two in their shoes” to encourage them.

Why does empathy matter to effective leadership? What change does it foster? First, what the paddle is to the ship is what Empathy is to leadership. It’s a superb skill that helps people through their seas of tempest down the shores of confidence in the sailor—the leader! In other words, when empathy is expressed, it helps co-workers/followers to easily sail through the toughest of times and grow better.

In a statistic by Forbes, 57% of white women and 62% of women of color said they were unlikely to think of leaving their companies if their life circumstances were respected and valued by their companies. But when they didn’t feel a level of value or respect for their life circumstances, 14% and 30% of white women and women of color respectively said they were unlikely to consider leaving. In the 21st Century, tables have turned from just using people to make an empire wealthy. People, more than ever, want to work and follow a leader who respects and values them.?The welfare of team members is as important as the team itself.

Empathy itself has become a global need, not only in the aspect of leadership. Life issues, sourcing from failed marriages, broken relationships, broken trust, and depression affect one’s mind negatively, and the closest person these issues can be disclosed to outside the close circle of friends is one's boss at work or in the team. The skill of empathy is hereby needed to alleviate the intensity of the issue that causes heartache and consistent performance drop at the workplace. Empathy helps the team members flourish in their roles as they always and can always open up about whatever they are going through and would be able to get solutions.

When people discovered that their leaders were empathetic, they were more likely to be innovative and productive. I found a statistic interesting in one of Forbes articles on leadership, it submits that 61% of employees do well under an empathetic leader compared to only 13% of employees with less empathetic leaders. Staggering right??

Tracy Brower, PhD, wrote that leaders can demonstrate empathy in two ways. First, they use cognitive empathy which is like “if I were in his or her position, what would I be thinking right now?”, in this way they can consider someone else’s thoughts and make decisions based on the acquired cognition. Leaders also focus on a person’s feelings using emotional empathy, which appears most of the time as this, “how would I feel or react if I were in this person's predicament or in this person's position?". Yes, leaders are most successful not just because they consider others, but when they express their concerns and inquire about challenges directly, and then listen to employees’ responses.

That said, one may ask “Do I then have to go learn some psychology to help my teammates?” Well, the answer is - Not necessarily. That’s because leaders don’t have to be experts in mental health to demonstrate that they care and are paying attention to their team's welfare. It’s enough to check in, ask questions and take cues from the employee about how much they want to share. Leaders can also be educated about the company’s support for mental health so they can provide information about resources for additional help.

Tracy further wrote that great leadership requires action. People trust leaders and feel a greater sense of engagement or commitment when there’s a connectedness between what the leader says and what he does when he sees their vulnerability. Understanding someone else’s situation should spur compassion and action from the leader! Empathy in action is understanding an employee’s struggles and offering to help. It’s appreciating a person’s point of view and engaging in a healthy debate that leads to a better solution. It’s considering a team member’s perspectives and making a new recommendation that helps achieve greater success. As the popular saying goes, “people may not remember what you say, but they will remember how you made them feel.”

Every piece of decision a leader makes heralds a message to followers. It tells them what your values and priorities are. And your priorities can follow the line of gain before people or people before gain. True leaders create room for people’s vulnerability to help their growth and development. You intentionally create an atmosphere where everyone feels safe and wanted in your organization. People should be able to admit that they aren’t getting it right. Leaders think first about how they can help people before thinking of spanking everyone with harsh words of rejection. A true leader wants to relate with people and know what they are going to be able to bring them assistance and necessary training.

Hence, empathy is a great tool in the toolbox of a leader who desires to maintain a good connection—on a deeper level—with his or her team members. Empathy isn’t just a skill to foster knowing and connectedness with team members, it contributes to positive relationships and organizational cultures. Being empathetic may not brand you with a new skill, but it impacts a company’s development and sustainability.

The responsibility of the leader isn’t just to be good at what they do. While it is good to get better at what you do, true leaders grow their empathy. Leaders take responsibility for whatever goes wrong with their team. A true leader must be responsible to the people who work in his/her organization. Creating the right environment for people to work results in excellent deliveries. When one of your staff has performance issues (due to emotional breakdown or spousal abuse), don’t turn it on their head and go “Come on, you’ve got to do better, or I fire you!”—empathy doesn’t speak that way! He finds a way to help and make everyone feel needed. Empathy has been concerned about human beings and not just their outputs!

For an example, Empathy is demonstrated by leaders in servant leadership style. Will Kenton, in her article Servant leadership: characteristics, Pros & Cons finely outline what servant leadership is thus:

  • Servant leadership seeks to move management and personnel interaction away from controlling activities and toward a synergistic relationship.
  • The authority figure in servant leadership environments attempts to promote innovation, empower employees, and assure the well-being of those around them.
  • Servant leadership also aims to develop leadership qualities in others.
  • This leadership style requires an individual to demonstrate characteristics such as empathy, listening, stewardship, and commitment to the personal growth of others.
  • Servant leadership is not suitable for all situations. A military commander must assume complete authority in order to make swift life and death decisions.

Finally, leaders with empathy, always give people the benefit of the doubt. And know that leaders don’t always have to be right and perceived as the strongest and most intelligent. They raise a team that wins together and loses together. That works for a leader and his team. Everyone on the team doesn’t have to score a goal for the coach to jump in jubilation and excitement. When one scores the goal, everyone rejoices. And when another misses the chance to put the team ahead, they try again! Indeed, true leadership is a mix of administrative capabilities and people management. With the first in place and the second missing, an organization suffers a great loss of potential. But put these two tools in the hands of a leader, what you get is a highly productive team and company.

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About Author:

Amitabh Kumar , author of this article is an?International Coach Federation ?(ICF) accredited?Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He coaches CXOs, Executives and mid-senior leadership from corporate and start-ups. He specializes in Career & Life Transition, Starting Up, Overall Growth and Happiness. He has been a dynamic leader himself with years of experience in corporate like GE & ORACLE followed by several years of entrepreneurial experience by founding and scaling up businesses. He can be reached at:?[email protected]

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References & Credits:

  • https://www.interstates.com/leadership-is-influence/
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi86Nr9Mdms
  • https://www.ivoox.com/en/finally-empathy-audios-mp3_rf_80278195_1.html
  • https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/?sh=963b3993dc5b
  • https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/?sh=2ba6a94e3dc5
  • https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/servant-leadership.asp

Vivek Chopra

● Executive, Leadership and Life Coach ● Facilitator ● Consultant ● Alchemist ● Mission Control Productivity Coach

1 年

Lovely article

Niladri Bihari Nayak ?

Enterprise Architect (TOGAF Certified) | Full Stack HR Tech Leader | SAP SF | Building SuccessLabs Academy | Doctoral Research Scholar -SSBM |Impact Fellow Scholar-GGI | Bhakti Shastri Scholar-ISKCON

1 年

Great article. I really liked the paddle-ship to Empathy-Leadership analogy. #artofempathy

Janakiram S D

Co-Founder at ESAAC LLP

1 年

very well expressed about the emphatic leadership’s requirements and importance

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