Leadership is Earned Through Respect, Not Given Through Title

Trust is the Cornerstone of Respect

If I've learned anything over the years, it's this: trust isn't given; it's earned. In cybersecurity, trust is everything. Your team needs to trust that you have their back, that you'll support them through tough calls, and that you're as invested in their success as yours. But this trust doesn't come from your title alone but from consistent actions.

?When your team sees that you follow through on your commitments, admit your mistakes, and make transparent decisions, they trust you. This is what earns their respect. Trust is fragile, though. One lousy call without explanation, one moment of taking credit without acknowledging the team's effort, and that respect can crumble. So, protect it fiercely by being reliable, honest, and fair.

?Communication is Key to Building Respect

Another point I can't emphasize enough is the importance of clear, open communication. Respect comes from understanding, and that's only possible if you're transparent and approachable. It's not enough to sit behind closed doors, making decisions in isolation.

?As a leader, you must be out there—listening to your team's concerns, hearing their ideas, and ensuring they understand the "why" behind the decisions that impact them.

?When you're transparent and open about your decision-making process, even when the news is uncompromising, people respect you for it. They may not always agree, but they'll appreciate your honesty and willingness to explain your reasoning. This openness helps create a culture of respect because it shows you value input and recognize the expertise around you.

Recommendations to Build Respect as a CISO

Walk the Talk

It's one thing to say that you value teamwork, integrity, and accountability. It's another to actually show it in your actions. Be the leader who stays true to your word, shows up for your team, and models the behavior you expect. People respect leaders who lead by example, not just direction.

?Invest in Your Team

Have a plan to develop the people around you. Whether through mentorship, training opportunities, or simply offering guidance on a challenging project, showing that you're committed to their growth goes a long way. When your team feels you care about their success, they'll respect you more deeply.

?Stay Humble and Keep Learning

Be comfortable with what you know and what you don’t know, because there's always more to learn. Be willing to admit when you don't have all the answers and stay curious about new developments in cybersecurity. Your humility will resonate with your team; they'll respect you for being human—not some untouchable authority figure.

Ultimately, leadership in cybersecurity—or any field—isn't about how high you rank in the hierarchy. It's about how much people trust and respect you. Building that trust requires consistent communication, a genuine investment in your team, and the willingness to lead with humility. When you focus on earning respect rather than assuming it comes with your title, you'll find that your leadership becomes far more impactful and meaningful.

?So, if you're a CISO looking to enhance your leadership, start with respect. Cultivate and protect it, and watch as your influence grows, not because of your rank but because of the respect you've earned.

?FAQ

How do I handle situations where respect has been lost?

Rebuilding respect after it's been damaged requires humility and intentional action. Start by acknowledging the mistake openly and taking full responsibility. Apologize directly to those affected and be transparent about what went wrong.

?Next, commit to corrective actions that address the root cause, whether it’s improving communication, involving the team more in decision-making, or addressing personal leadership flaws. Finally, follow through consistently. Trust and respect are rebuilt over time through your actions, so show that you’ve learned from the situation and are making positive changes.

What should I do if I’m in a culture that values rank over respect?

Navigating a rank-driven culture can be challenging, but you can lead by example. Start by building trust and respect within your immediate team. Empower them by showing that you value their expertise and contributions, regardless of their rank.

?Over time, as your team performs well and becomes known for their cohesion and effectiveness, other departments may begin to notice your approach.

?Additionally, use your position to advocate for more collaborative, inclusive decision-making processes with other leaders. Changing culture takes time, but demonstrating how respect-based leadership leads to better results can be a powerful catalyst.

?How can I measure whether I’ve earned respect as a leader?

While respect is intangible, there are a few key indicators that can help you gauge it. First, observe how your team reacts to your decisions and direction—do they follow you out of obligation or out of a shared commitment to the goal?

?Second, pay attention to whether your team members feel comfortable coming to you with problems, feedback, or even disagreements. If they do, that’s a sign they respect your openness. Lastly, look at the level of discretionary effort your team puts in—when people go above and beyond without being asked, it’s often a reflection of respect for their leader.

?What’s the balance between being approachable and maintaining authority?

Being approachable doesn’t mean giving up your authority—it’s about creating a culture where people feel comfortable speaking up but still recognize your leadership.

?The key is to be clear about boundaries. Encourage open communication, listen actively, and be transparent about why you make certain decisions. At the same time, make it clear that you have the final say when necessary, especially in high-stakes situations.

?Approachability builds trust, but it’s your decisiveness and consistency that reinforce your authority. Strive for a balance where your team feels heard, but also knows that you are in control.

?How can I foster respect from peers and other executives outside my direct team?

Building respect among peers and other executives requires cross-functional collaboration and a proactive approach.

?First, demonstrate a deep understanding of their challenges and show that cybersecurity is aligned with their goals—not just a barrier or a compliance checkbox. Speak their language by connecting security initiatives to business outcomes, like risk reduction, operational efficiency, or revenue protection. Second, offer solutions rather than just identifying problems. Leaders respect those who bring ideas and solutions to the table, not just obstacles. Finally, be consistent—earn trust by following through on your commitments and being a reliable partner in joint initiatives.