LEADERSHIP CRUCIBLES: DEFINING MOMENTS IN PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

“We don't develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”– Barbara De Angelis

I was fortunate some years ago to meet Robert Thomas. He had recently written a book called Crucibles of Leadership. The central theme of his book was that moments of crisis or grand failure disproportionally shape us as leaders. He used the word crucible to describe these moments. As he puts it ”…our recent research has led us to conclude that one of the most reliable indicators and predictors of true leadership is an individual’s ability to find meaning in negative events and to learn from even the most trying circumstances. Put another way, the skills required to conquer adversity and emerge stronger and more committed than ever are the same ones that make for extraordinary leader.”

Bob’s observation resonated with me. I have felt over the 30 plus years (I know that does make me now seem very old) I’ve been working in the corporate world, that in moments of crisis you see a different side of people. In some ways, I think you see the best of people. Equally, in these crucibles (trials of character, resolve, and stamina?) you learn a lot about yourself. In this blog, I thought I’d try to share my reflections on three such defining moments in my career. Each has had a profound impact on me. While I don’t believe they define me entirely, I have no doubt that without them, I would be significantly poorer.  

TAKING A LEAP

My first crucible example occurred in 1995. It was a crisis of indecision and insecurity over a career change. In some senses, perhaps this is not a classic ‘crucible.’ It didn’t involve a high profile business event. However, it was nonetheless a pivotal point in my professional life. Just as I was being nominated for partnership in my consulting firm, I was presented with an opportunity to make a career change. 

The components of this crucible require little explanation; I had a young family, I had a secure future. Against this, I was being offered a very risky change of career from management consultant to HR leader in a business that was essentially a start-up. The dilemma was risk over security….of the known over the unknown.

I took the leap. Of course I did! I would have regretted not taking the chance. I would have always wondered what would otherwise have been. This said, I was scared. I use that word very deliberately. Not anxious, not nervous, but actually scared I was not good enough to succeed in the new position.

What happened was this; my fear drove me to find a way to survive. It compelled me to learn what I needed and, while I did, I was determined that the one thing I could control was effort. I declared I would allow no one to outwork me! Every day, for the first 18 months of this new job, I experienced what I would imagine a tight rope walker might feel…..I felt an enormous risk of failure, of being found wanting. But this focused my attention and I found depths of resourcefulness and stamina that I did not know I possessed.

FIGURE 1- TAKING A LEAP LESSONS LEARNED

In Figure 1, I have summarised what this experience taught me. I understand that self-reflection has its distortions and truth may be relative (a nod to my social constructionist friends). However, my truth from this experience was:

1 – Job Experience is not everything: Too often I think companies focus on hiring people who can demonstrate they have done 100% of the job before. I think this misses a huge point. Individuals can be driven to succeed and bring all their energy and focus to a challenge, precisely because they have not doneall of the job before!

2 – Motivation & drive matter: When I reflect on why I managed to survive in this job and go on to do others, it is because I was very highly motivated. Interestingly money was not my main motivation. Perhaps it was a factor because I might not have taken the leap if I didn’t think in the end it would pay dividends. What drove me was a combination of testing my limits and fear of failing. 

3 – Motivation alone is insufficient: Along with fear comes belief. I had a sustaining mechanism in these years where my family first and some business leaders believed in me. This was an essential ingredient. 

IS THAT LOU DOBBS OUTSIDE THE BUILDING?

I can’t write a blog about business crucibles without discussing the infamous bankruptcy of a large Houston based energy trading company. On December 2, 2001 my employer declared Chapter 11 protection. A week later Lou Dobbs broadcast his Moneyline program from outside our office building. Over the previous 6 weeks there had been a failed attempt at a merger and a series of exposés about our CFO in the Wall Street Journal.

It is impossible to do justice in a blog to the experience of giving nearly 7 years of your professional career to a firm that then spontaneously combusts. What I think we can all agree is that as crucibles go, this one was very hot, very messy, very complicated, and hurt a lot of people. What I would focus on in this blog is ‘What did the experience teach me about myself and leading in crisis?”

There are two dimensions of this experience I’d like to share. The first is how the world seems to suddenly become binary.

FIGURE 2- DEALING IN ABSOLUTES

What I observed in this period was what I’ve depicted above in Figure 2. Professional life became unitary. Corporate strategy and objectives collapsed into short term singularities without nuance. More to the point, individuals seemed to revert to the flight or fight response. I do also remember being very naive about how the media, society, and indeed government agencies would respond to the company’s bankruptcy. Sadly the experience left me with a deep sense of skepticism which prevails to this day.

The second dimension was how I felt during this time. I found myself unexpectedly in a position to help former and existing colleagues, and an obligation, perhaps duty, to attempt to do so (I’m not claiming to have been very good at this incidentally). I found this emotion so compelling that I choose the ‘fight’ response. 

This crucible was the most painful in my professional career. It left me with a few battle scars but also some gifts. Here is what I learned:

1.  A strong purpose trumps everything: We talk a lot about employee engagement, motivation, and incentives. However, the most powerful force I have experienced in my professional life was a sense that I had a duty of care to others. The sense of purpose that flowed through me in the weeks that followed my company’s bankruptcy remain the most powerful (and exhausting) I have ever experienced.

2. Life is uncertain…never assume anything is permanent: I talk with some people who have never experienced a major crisis. Never experienced a knock back. I spoke with someone a few months ago who at the age of 40 had always experienced success, promotions, pay rises, all with one company. My experience tells me that professional life is far, far, far, more tenuous than many people assume.  

3. Life can throw you lemons: (cliché warning…) You can’t control what happens…..but you can control how you respond!

WE’D LIKE YOU TO TAKE A 2 WEEK TRIP TO INDIA

In 2013, I was asked to take a short trip to India. My company’s local partner was attempting an ambitious transformation of their management systems and wanted some help. By some twist of fate this led to an extraordinary and completely unexpected adventure. This adventure is the final crucible story I would like to share.

For context, I was working as the Head of HR for a large part of my company at the time. I had traditional aspirations in my job, a view of how I was doing, and a sense I had a decent shot at getting a bigger HR Leadership role within a year or two. My days were filled with meetings, presentations, client discussions, and debates with my team about how to resolve disputes. I had a secretary who took care of me. I had a nice office. I dressed in a suit. I commuted by London underground. My average workday was 7.30 to around 6. 

Then, everything changed.

First of all, 2 weeks became 4 years. Secondly, I met an extraordinary business leader who had a radical and lasting influence on my outlook. In addition, I began to see life through the eyes of 20 million other residents of Mumbai. I had no job responsibilities and yet I had never been busier, nor felt as fulfilled. I had no official role in the organisation, and yet met regularly with the CEO and executive team on matters of real substance. For a while, I led the company’s HR function and yet no one reported to me. 

Here is what is startling; I lost many of the things I thought were important. My old career path seemed less attractive (or indeed even real). I lived in a hotel for much of my stay. I had a hellish commute to the office through crazy traffic. My workload and expectations were at times incredibly stressful. And yet:

1 – This assignment was my CAPSTONE: Every moment of my career until 2013 was simply an apprenticeship for this challenge. (Cliché alert #2). This was an opportunity to bring everything I had. To stretch every muscle. To pull out all the stops.

2 – I learned more in a month in India than I did in the previous year in London: this included thinking completely differently about what scale and ambition could be and how the world can be viewed very differently from the East.

3 – I was delighted and humbled by people: Colleagues I had worked with over the years volunteered to help and the people I met along the way left me with a completely new perspective.

4 – I re-evaluated why I work and what place work should take in my life: This sounds very mystic doesn’t it? My point though is I genuinely started to understand that my professional life had been poorer for my lack of empathy and genuine support to help others. I found an extraordinary delight in spending less time thinking about what I wanted and instead understanding what those around me were trying to achieve. I also recognised that there were personal sacrifices that I had made which needed to be rebalanced

My time in India taught me that you can easily become consumed and anesthetized to professional life. In particular, it allowed me to realise the wisdom of what Adam Grant talks about in his book Give and Take. When you find security and contentment in your own skin, in your own contribution, when you can let go of the need to prove yourself constantly by having the quick answer or solution to a complex problem, only then can start to see the incredible, amazing people around you. Frankly, I am embarrassed at how long this lesson took me to learn. I am glad though that I finally did.

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CRUCIBLES?

These are just 3 of my moments of truth…. my crucibles of leadership. I hope that my sharing might inspire others to do the same. Does the theme of this blog resonate with you? Do you have your own crucible example you are willing to share? 

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