Leadership in Construction: Embracing Hard Conversations with Confidence

I've learned to love having hard conversations. Not because they are fun to have or I enjoy the process or outcome. I learned to love them for the confidence they build in having done a hard thing and, that in the end, I feel less stuck and frustrated.

It hasn't always been this way. As I said, it has been something I learned to love. I remember the days of keeping bad-fit employees for way too long; putting off talking to underperforming employees, hoping they would figure it out without the conversation; even the conversations about bent or broken policies when I needed to be consistent with applying expectations and it was easier to let it slip.

As leaders in the construction industry, we have a lot on our plates. Our brains are often at capacity and as long as nothing goes way off the chaos rails, we can hold it all together. So when it comes to handling tough conversations, even the most experienced leaders can find themselves procrastinating and putting it off, hoping the need for it will just go away. Whether it’s addressing underperformance, discussing a sensitive issue, or setting firm boundaries with clients, hard conversations are an inevitable part of leadership. Unfortunately, too often, they are postponed with the hope that time will ease the discomfort or the issue will resolve itself.

However, the reality is clear: procrastination doesn’t make hard conversations easier; it often makes them worse, especially when they take so much of your energy thinking about them. In fact, the longer you wait, the bigger the issue becomes, often leading to greater frustration, decreased morale, and sometimes even financial loss. For leaders in construction, the ability to tackle difficult conversations head-on, and in a timely manner, is critical.

This article explores why confronting tough conversations sooner rather than later is crucial, and how you can build the confidence to approach these situations with clarity and effectiveness.

The High Cost of Avoiding Difficult Conversations

It’s common to avoid uncomfortable discussions. We justify delays with thoughts like, “Maybe the situation will improve on its own,” or “I’ll address it after this project wraps up.” But what’s the true cost of waiting?

1. Erosion of Trust: In our industry, where we rely on team members to get a job done, we need to trust each other. When leaders avoid addressing issues, employees and stakeholders notice. The resulting lack of transparency erodes trust, leading to disengagement, rumours, and a breakdown in communication. Team members may feel that their efforts to meet expectations go unnoticed while others are allowed to underperform. One of the keys to great leadership is being trustworthy and not addressing issue in a timely manner undermines that trust.
2. Reduced Morale and Productivity: Avoiding difficult conversations often leads to resentment. When one team member isn’t pulling their weight, the entire crew suffers. Delayed intervention can foster a culture where mediocrity becomes tolerated, causing the more dedicated members of your team to feel demotivated. This dynamic is a surefire way to derail projects and decrease overall productivity.
3. Escalation of Problems: Minor issues can quickly escalate into major problems if left unaddressed. For example, a small quality concern on-site can snowball into significant rework, costing time and money. Likewise, a minor behavioural issue can evolve into a toxic work environment if ignored. These are examples of how having a hard conversation in a timely manner, not only increases your peace and focus, it also avoids problems that can be costly.

Why Leaders Hesitate and How to Overcome It

Understanding why we hesitate to have these tough conversations is the first step toward overcoming the resistance. Common reasons include:

• Fear of Conflict: We fear that addressing the issue may lead to confrontation, which could damage relationships or create tension within the team.
• Uncertainty About the Right Approach: Many leaders struggle with how to frame the conversation constructively, worrying that they’ll say the wrong thing or come across as overly harsh.
• Emotional Discomfort: Discomfort around dealing with emotions—either our own or those of the person we’re addressing—can make it tempting to sidestep the conversation altogether. This is especially relevant in the construction industry where we often avoid anything that stirs up emotions.

To overcome these barriers, you must shift your mindset and build a toolkit that allows you to approach difficult conversations with confidence.

Embracing a Proactive Leadership Mindset

A proactive leadership mindset is one that views hard conversations not as a burden, rather as a vital part of team growth, culture-building, and overall business success. Here’s how you can cultivate this mindset:

1. Reframe the Conversation as an Opportunity: Rather than viewing tough discussions as potential sources of conflict, see them as opportunities for growth—both for you and the person you’re addressing. These conversations are chances to clarify expectations, improve relationships, and ultimately strengthen the team. A well-handled conversation can build trust, demonstrate integrity, and reinforce a culture of accountability.
2. Adopt a Coaching Approach: Shift from a “fix the problem” mindset to a “develop the person” approach. By focusing on development and shared goals rather than on simply correcting behaviour, you can turn even the hardest conversations into productive exchanges that lead to positive change. Ask open-ended questions to understand the other person’s perspective and explore solutions together.
3. Set Clear Expectations: Often, performance issues arise because expectations weren’t clear in the first place. Having systems in place that establish clear roles, responsibilities, and benchmarks makes it easier to address gaps when they occur. If someone isn’t meeting expectations, your conversation can be anchored in these pre-established criteria rather than subjective opinions.

The Art of the Hard Conversation: Practical Steps

Having the conversation itself requires careful preparation and execution. Here are practical steps to help guide you:

1. Prepare and Practice: Before the meeting, get clear on the core issue and the outcome you want. Write down key points and practice how you’ll deliver them. Anticipate potential reactions and plan how you’ll steer the conversation back on track if emotions run high. Practicing helps you maintain focus during the conversation and ensures you don’t get derailed by the discomfort. Focus on the desired outcome.
2. Be Direct, and Empathetic: Start the conversation by being clear and direct about the issue at hand. Avoid vague statements and get to the point early. At the same time, lead with empathy. Acknowledge the person’s contributions and make it clear that your goal is to support their growth. Remember, being empathetic doesn’t mean avoiding the truth. You can deliver tough feedback while still showing care and respect.
3. Focus on Facts, Not Feelings: Frame the conversation around observable facts and the impact they’re having on the business. For instance, instead of saying, “You’ve been slacking off,” you could say, “I’ve noticed that over the last month, deadlines have been missed on three occasions, which has led to delays on-site.” Facts are objective and less likely to trigger defensiveness, making it easier to not take things personally.
4. Create a Path Forward: After discussing the issue, shift the focus to solutions. Collaborate with the person to create a concrete action plan. Define next steps, set clear goals, and establish a timeline for improvement. Follow up regularly to monitor progress and provide support as needed.
5. Stay Composed: It’s easy to get thrown off if the other person becomes defensive or emotional. Stay calm and focused. Breathe deeply and listen actively. If the conversation gets off track, gently steer it back to the issue at hand. Your composure will set the tone for how the conversation unfolds.

Building Confidence Over Time

The more you engage in difficult conversations, the more skilled and confident you’ll become. Start small and work your way up to more challenging situations. Over time, these conversations will feel less like confrontations and more like routine leadership responsibilities.

As you gain experience, you’ll also notice the benefits: improved team performance, enhanced trust, and a culture where issues are addressed head-on rather than allowed to fester. Your team will appreciate your candour, and you’ll be recognized as a leader who is not afraid to tackle the hard things when they matter most.

Leaders Go First

In construction, the most effective leaders understand that having hard conversations is a non-negotiable part of leading a successful company. By addressing issues promptly and confidently, you set the tone for a culture of accountability, transparency, and excellence.

So, the next time you find yourself hesitating to have a tough conversation, remember: the sooner, the better. Lead by example, lean into the discomfort, and watch as your team—and your business—thrives as a result.

If you want the framework I have for the 7 C's of hard conversations, send me a message on any of the platforms, I'm happy to share it and help you prepare to have your next hard conversation.