Leadership Chapter 35

The meeting ends with us agreeing that I will get back to the CEO with a decision the next day. “I’ll let you know by 9 o’clock tomorrow” I say as we part ways. Once again.. a clumsy, self given deadline!! It’s now after 5 pm and the office is fairly empty. Frazzled by the conversation I have just had, I forget that I had taken my bag to the car and I go back to my desk, sit down and start wondering who took my laptop and my bag. 

Minutes later I gather myself, I reach for my phone and dial my mentors number convinced that he would solve this one for me or at least help me think through it. The phone rings once, twice, three times.. six times and voicemail. I daily the number again and this time the phone doesn’t even ring. Straight to voicemail. 30 minutes later, I try again… voicemail. 

It’s now almost 6pm on this cold winter evening and all of a sudden I start sweating. Why did I say I would get back to him by 9am tomorrow? Should I ask for more time? Will I look indecisive if I do? Why didn’t I just say yes to the job without asking for more time? But I need time to think about it… What am I thinking about again? This is an Executive role.. isn’t that what I’m working towards? I’ll earn more money.. Thats a good thing right?

But what about the new employer? What will it look like if I change my mind? Well strictly speaking I don’t know them anyway so I won’t be disappointing anyone there right? There is less than two weeks before they expect me to start. Wouldn’t it look unprofessional to change my mind now? How much of all of this is my problem? Where is my “personal google” when I need him the most? 

Completely lost in my own thoughts, before long, I look at my watch and it’s almost 8pm, my mentor hasn’t called back, I am no closer to a decision and I’m hungry. I pack up, grab my car keys, go past the Nandos drive through for dinner and eventually get home. Still no call from my mentor and it’s now after 9pm. I’m clearly on my own. 

Feeling a little more settled now, I have dinner and then sit down with a piece of paper to have a board meeting with myself. On the piece of paper I write two main headings. On the left I write “To stay” and on the right, “To go”. Under each title, I draw two columns. Pro’s and Con’s. I obviously start with “To stay” and very quickly I start stacking up the advantages of staying having been sold the dream by the CEO. 

About three hours later, my list is done and I have gone through the initial conversation that my mentor and I had when I resigned. It’s midnight, still no phone call but I have finally come to a sober decision.

The next morning, I arrive at the office just before 9 with a spring in my step. I go straight to the CEO’s office as we had agreed and he’s waiting for me. As we take our seats, I decide to speak first and drive this conversation to avoid being side swiped and confused as was the case in the last meeting. “So I’ve decided…