Leadership is not about being great or perfect

During a recent coaching session with a senior leader, we discussed the idea of trying to become a "great or perfect" leader.

Many books talk about leadership and what it means to be a "great" or "perfect" leader. In my view, the idea of trying to become a "great or perfect" leader is fundamentally flawed. In fact, it invites us to be self-concerned about our leadership, and we end up carrying a view of "I need to be seen as the perfect leader". This distorted view of ourselves and how we see others impacts everything we do. It is highlighted in Arbinger's best-selling book, Leadership and Self-deception.

Each person has leadership. What do I mean with this? I mean that each one of us can become better at something which we are not good at. As long as we have the ability and the will, we can grow and develop. Leadership is a constant journey of growing & developing.

For me, leadership is about giving others a "better version of myself" to respond to. We all need to lead in the various roles we play in our lives, i.e. in my case, as a father, as a husband, as a son, as a brother, as a colleague and as a partner.

So is it about being a great or perfect leader? No.

My role as a leader is that I give those I live and work with, a better version of myself to respond to, no matter the situation. The leadership journey is a life journey, and the following are helpful questions to ask ourselves all the time:

• Am I curious enough to know how I impact others?
• Am I willing and able to consider how I might be part of the problem?
• Am I willing and able to lead by example?

Great or perfect leadership is an illusion.

When we consistently,

• strive to understand others needs, challenges and objectives,
• then continuously adjust our efforts to be more helpful (i.e. acknowledge our mistakes, listen & learn, have necessary difficult conversations, give direct feedback, show genuine appreciation, give real responsibility, involve others, take correction easily, challenge, give helpful correction, set high expectations and offer help)
• and regularly check-in whether these efforts are indeed beneficial,

we are giving those we live and work with a different version of us to respond to than before - we are leading. Leadership is when we do what we are waiting on the other person to do.