Leadership and battlefield wounds. Taboo subject?

Leadership & Trauma

I have always believed that a leader cannot act at his maximum potential in business if he/she is emotionally hurt or unbalanced! And here I have in mind traumas we acquired throughout our experience as leaders in business, in relation to various organizational cultures and their representatives! Or as entrepreneurs - facing what Ben Horowitz (“tech legend”) called: “The Struggle” - the sum of the psychological difficulties that entrepreneurs / founders face! So when I think of leadership trauma, I have in mind those crucial moments in our leadership experience that have left deep scars in our minds but also in our souls and that once realized and treated carefully - can really open the door to our evolution.

During extreme business crises (e.g. financial problems, severe underperformance, downsizing, forced acquisitions, etc.), CEO`s, operational leaders or start-up founders may find themselves exposed to chronic trauma, especially if they face situations that constantly generate fear, strict financial problems, unethical behavior or the pressure to behave contrary to personal principles.

Think of such moments in your career! What are your painful lessons that have made you wonder for sure – “And now what's next for me?” Which were those moments that made you doubt your leadership skills? Which are those crucial situations that affected you emotionally - have they changed the way you acted in business or connected with others?

I look carefully in the drawer of my chronic traumas as a business leader. I find there a past trauma of rejection without explanation from the potential management of a key project for the business in which I operate. The trauma of failing not to be promoted to a senior management position, although the performance and feedback received were exceptional. The trauma of having restructured my senior leadership role while I was on maternity leave and without the opportunity to react. The trauma of realizing that in some organizational cultures "People are the most precious resource!" it remains a simple slogan and that in fact they operate underground with the mentality "anyone can be replaced". The gap between what I thought senior leadership meant and what was actually happening really, drew scars on my heart. These are just a few examples that came to my mind now as I write this article.

As an entrepreneur, I have a permanent turmoil related to the value I constantly bring in the business, to the clients, to the communities I belong to, related to how I define my success, related to how I manage critical moments in the life of my business. Added together - some became lessons, others became wounds that need to be inventoried, accepted, healed. In 24 years of career, both good and bad can accumulate. As I think you have accumulated also your own stories & examples.

As a leader, what are the traumas carefully hidden in your mind and body? Those injuries accumulated in the trenches of the business? How much time did you give yourself to be aware of them and take care of each wound? How open are you at this moment to accept them and take on what is in your power to repair within yourself to become a better leader for your team, for your business, for the community you serve?

Another recent perspective on leadership trauma states that while chronic trauma requires a revisitation of the past, leadership trauma (in the recent sense) requires addressing fears about a potential traumatic future. In this case, leaders have moments of panic about what might happen in the future - or according to neuroscience researchers, this kind of fear can affect the same part of the brain as in the case of experiences that actually take place!

?This kind of trauma can be amplified by the ego of the leader who can be seen in the future as a "Corporate Hero", covered by glory or as a negative character - covered by shame. From this perspective, leaders may face the fear of the future or the shame of a future failure. If in the Corporate area the leaders are a bit more protected, in the entrepreneurial area there is no such protection, not coincidentally the founders of some start-ups need 2-3 years of psychological recovery / stress between start-ups.

Leadership & Vulnerability

In the context of COVID19 there has been a lot of talk about mental health and how important it is to keep our ability to adapt to a world dominated by V.U.C.A. But very little is said about the traumas of leaders (at the beginning of the road or seniors) accumulated in this difficult context - is this a real TABU topic? For many of the organizations still do.

The idea that vulnerability and leadership are two concepts that cannot coexist at the decision-making table has been cultivated for too long! Very few leaders have the courage to speak openly about their emotions, feelings, traumas or about their failures ...

But as leaders are no longer seen in black and white - it is useful for today's leaders to better scan both their internal resources and blockages. Storing these blockages inside us will not make us better leaders, but on the contrary.

Michelle Maldonado, one of my professors at the Inner MBA - NYU, recently stated that "Trauma affects our ability to be truly present" so a first step is to treat ourselves with self-compassion on this journey because that’s the right path to become mindful leaders!

When traumatized leaders are at the helm ...

How many of the companies' decisions are made today by traumatized leaders? Leaders who are responsible for vital sectors or manage EUR millions? Their impact on business is difficult to quantify. The truth is that startups will never be free from stress, companies will continue to streamline costs and reduce staff or automate, the business environment generally means stress and emotions - but the difference will be made by leaders who manage and accepts trauma not as a vulnerability but as an opportunity to evolve, who will connect with other professionals to better understand their emotions, to resolve their crises even in the context of extreme stress. Leaders with a different kind of presence in the life of their companies, with increased emotional intelligence and compassion in action and not only declaratively.

In the context of the pandemic - organizations are accumulating new types of emotional problems that companies have not faced before! I wonder how many new emotional problems your colleagues or even you face right now and how do they impact today the degree of employee satisfaction and business performance?

In my opinion, these leaders who learn openly from their own traumas will be able to create an enabling environment in their organizations - to reveal the trauma, to accept it and to offer the chance for organizational healing. What do you think?

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Thank you and stay healthy!

Source photo: soulgps.medium.com