Leadership Anxiety is a Thing

Where do the butterflies come from?

Anxiety about your role as a leader, is not something you have to carry around with you, once you understand how you are doing it. Anxiety is a complex state created in the mind-body, with a linguistic structure.

Meta-coaches work with complex states a lot, and unpack them in coaching sessions to create new states for leaders who want to move forward and be more effective.

The goal is to design and install a more productive complex state, like composure and resilience, with a strategy for bouncing back from any adverse situation. The question to ask is "What complex state has you?"

Disclaimer: This article is written from the perspective of coaching, and supporting professionals to develop their mindset to more resilient states. It is not designed to diagnose any mental health condition. Anyone suffering from severe anxiety should see their healthcare practitioner.

The Complex State that has you

Some of the most accomplished people still get the butterflies thinking about all that responsibility and how they are doing in their job. They often describe feeling "anxious" or "stressed." It definitely doesn't have to be this way! There is a way to master this state of mind and become resilient and calm, no matter what others are doing.

I meet these "states of anxiety" often in coaching, when working with newly-appointed leaders, and even experienced C-Suite managers. They get overwhelmed with new responsibilities, working to get a handle on managing the challenges that come with delivering at a higher level. Often with less people, and in less time!

How do we control the internal anxious states that we call anxiety, and get stuff done?

I have worked with clients who had to take time out to get to grips with the stress and burnout, created by their internal and real anxiety, which isn't always about the job or the people they work with.

Everyone runs their anxious states in a way that is "predictable", because it's a pattern. I speak about patterns a lot! If we were to sit down and listen to how you speak about it, you will learn that anxiety is a well-worn coping mechanism for handling external stress. We internalize it, assign meaning to it, and try to move away from it. This creates more anxiety. It has a mind-body-linguistic structure.

Anxiety is Real

Anxiety is not chaotic but structured and formed from habitual responses. It is a thing! Recognizing this can transform it from a state of 'suffering' to an actionable, positive behavior. Sometimes you have to slow down and notice how you create your "states" and how your talk to yourself about what your anxious about. I know this territory! I used to run these patterns, before I worked as a coach, in roles I had in the past.

The only thing that still makes me anxious is lateness - mine and others.

It stresses me like nothing else, so you will see me show up an hour before I am meant to. The difference now is, if something unforeseen happens, I know how to talk myself out of it. I use the tools to catch myself before I spiral upwards, and out into chaotic thinking. I've learned to watch how I run my brain, to move towards planning and giving myself more time than I need.

The frame of mind creates the game of engagement.

The script we run drives our responses to a situation; Can you calmly coach yourself to meet every situation with action and better ways to run your brain?

So what do some people typically get anxious about?

1. Performance Anxiety vs. Perfectionism

Striving for perfection can often lead to unnecessary states of anxiety. Balancing certainty in your abilities with optimizing what you can realistically achieve, in a certain amount of time, will help ease that. Your ideal scenario competing with "facts and reality" is always going to stress you out. Work with what you have, and grow into your responsibilities, especially if you're having to do more with less.

2. Overcoming the 'Not-Enough Yet' Syndrome

The feeling of inadequacy, often mislabeled as 'Imposter Syndrome,' a term I dislike because it presupposes you are pretending to be something you are not.

You are just feeling the unfamiliar and the overwhelm of newness, and possibly in a hurry to know everything.

Sit with it, and learn as you go. See yourself as a work-in-progress, that can be updated, as needed, with skills, coaching and experience. You are never finished as a productive leader. You are always growing and you are probably enough for now. Remember all software needs updates. How many updates and patches are on any app that you own? Every last one of them has updates. Be like software! Wait for the right time to update yours.

3. Forgetting and discounting past achievements

Recalling your past achievements and strengths can prevent you from losing confidence in your abilities. Regularly acknowledging your contributions bolsters self-appreciation. Remind yourself why you are in the job and why you got the job. You know stuff, you just don't know everything and never will! You might like the article I wrote here Own Your Job like a Boss .

4. The Myth of the All-Knowing Leader

Accepting that you don't need all the answers, embracing continuous learning, and delegation will reduce those feelings of anxiety. It also helps build team trust to show your vulnerability. Keep collecting data.An easy way to gather information, just keep asking and coaching, without offering your opinion. Say nothing until you know more is a good strategy for picking up the important tacit knowledge in your team and company.

5. Transitioning to Leadership

Moving into a leadership role can be anxiety-inducing due to its unfamiliarity, your high standards, and your impatience to know everything instantly. Preparing for this change is all about taking your time and adapting to global thinking, big picture, multi-focus, strategic planning. This is especially true if you have spent your working life in the detail, where you excelled in task-driven productivity. It's whole new ball game to lead others and navigate people.

6. Building Resilience to Handle Resistance from Others

Some people will resist your appointment and leadership. Notice the pockets of resistance. Build alliances and lead who you can lead, and give the challengers plenty of listening time to understand how they function, then give them plenty of responsibilities and busyness, making them feel valued. And just keep your curiosity hat firmly fixed on your head. Ask, ask, ask until you have them figured out!

It's not uncommon for people to resist change; it's just hard when you are the change they don't want.

Anticipating and strategizing for opposition helps maintain focus and confidence. You also need strong language skills to win these people over. Effective leadership involves navigating team dynamics and continuous coaching of yourself and others. Learn to Run your Brain on self-leadership here.

State Management and Repatterning Anxiety with NLP

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) offers techniques for restructuring thought patterns, effectively 'reprogramming' the brain to manage anxious states. It's especially useful for overcoming social anxieties and boosting confidence in professional settings, public speaking and giving you a strong voice in the leadership team.

Learn how you do anxiety, and learn how to swap it for resilience

It's all about showing you how you move from one state to another. State management is about tracking those mental and emotional patterns that everyone does. By mapping anxiety and understanding its triggers, you can redefine and leave more of it behind.

Anxiety in leadership roles is not a permanent state. By understanding its structure and employing techniques like NLP, you can master it. This process involves recognizing patterns, redefining responses, and actively engaging in personal growth.

So what does a coach do with anxious states?

We rescript it, consciously and subconsciously through the coaching conversation. We are always moving people in new levels of awareness and better complex states like resilience and confidence.

If you could feel less anxious, how would you be in your work, life and relationships?

The opposite of anxiety is resilience and composure, and learning how to talk yourself into better states, whether you are speaking to groups, leading others, with external pressures to manage and still deliver.

2024: The Year of Micro-Learning for Leaders with Trailblazers at Work.

I'm offering micro-learning sessions to support professionals to take command of their states, develop resilience and produce their best work, with resources to spare.

These sessions are designed to fit into a the overflowing diary, providing valuable insights and practical skills and mindset change. Time out with a coach, could change all that. What do you want to do less of, and what would do more of if you knew how?

Book Your Micro-Learning Sessions

Book a micro-learning session today and embark on a journey towards more mindful, effective leadership. Schedule your 15-minute Coaching Call.

Have a great Week!

Shiera

What else can I read from Shiera?

You may also be interested in reading Build Self Confidence Fast How confidence is structured. Everything is a mind-set, you have to know how to run your brain better.

New Leadership Training Programs are in creation right now

For executives and leaders who want to know more about the Language of Leadership, Path of Most Resilience Program, connect with me. If you would like to learn more about leadership training, or coaching around this topic, contact Shiera here.

About the Author:

Shiera is an Executive Coach and trainer with a passion for transformational coaching, the language of leaders, and strategic communication. With over 16 years of experience and expertise in coaching executives and leaders to enhance their impact in how they communicate and interact in the workplace.

As a Master Practitioner in NLP, with extensive training in Meta-Coaching and cutting-edge Neuro-semantic approaches to Change Management and Executive Development, she brings a wealth of knowledge to coaching, with a background that spans various aspects of business, including sales, communication, and people development training and coaching.