The Leadership Advice I Wish I Had Learned Sooner

If I could sit down with myself ten years ago, I’d have a lot to say.

Early in my leadership journey, I believed success was about working harder, knowing all the answers, and keeping everything under control. But leadership doesn’t work that way.

The hardest lessons aren’t the ones you read in books—they’re the ones you learn through experience, usually the hard way. If I could go back, here’s what I’d tell myself (and what I hope will help other leaders before they have to learn it the hard way too).

1. Listening is More Powerful Than Speaking

Early on, I thought leadership meant having the right things to say. I’d prepare answers, solutions, and insights, thinking that’s what my team needed from me.

What I eventually realized? People don’t want a leader who talks the most. They want one who listens the best.

Now, I focus on:

• Asking open-ended questions before giving input.
• Being fully present in conversations instead of waiting for my turn to speak.
• Creating space for others to share ideas before I jump in.

The best leaders aren’t the loudest voices in the room—they’re the ones who create room for others to be heard.

2. Your Team’s Success Matters More Than Your Individual Performance

At first, I measured my success by my work. I thought if I delivered great results, I was leading well.

Then I learned this simple truth: If your team isn’t winning, neither are you.

Leadership is about building others up, removing obstacles, and creating an environment where people can succeed.

The shift I made:

? Instead of being the best individual contributor, I focused on helping my team perform at their best.

? Instead of solving every problem myself, I coached my team to solve them.

? Instead of focusing on my reputation, I focused on elevating my team’s.

Leadership isn’t about being the hero—it’s about creating heroes.

3. It’s Okay to Admit When You Don’t Know Something

I used to think leaders had to have all the answers. I was afraid that saying “I don’t know” would make me look weak or unprepared.

The reality? Pretending to know everything erodes trust. Admitting what you don’t know builds it.

Now, when I don’t have the answer, I say:

• “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together.”
• “That’s a great question. Who on the team might have insight on this?”
• “I haven’t come across that before—tell me more about your perspective.”

People respect honesty more than false certainty.

4. People Don’t Quit Jobs—They Quit Bad Leadership

It’s easy to think people leave because of pay, opportunities, or company culture. But most of the time? They leave because they don’t feel valued, supported, or heard by their leader.

I’ve learned that retention isn’t about perks—it’s about leadership.

? Do they feel challenged and supported?

? Do they know their work matters?

? Do they feel recognized and appreciated?

One of the best ways to keep great people? Be the leader you wish you had.

5. You Can’t Do Everything—Prioritization is a Superpower

For a long time, I thought saying yes to everything made me a better leader. But all it really did was leave me overwhelmed and stretched too thin.

What I’ve learned? Great leadership isn’t about doing everything—it’s about focusing on the right things.

Now, before committing, I ask myself:

• Does this align with our most important goals?
• If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?
• Would my time be better spent coaching my team rather than handling this myself?

Great leaders don’t chase every opportunity. They focus on what moves the needle.

6. Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Necessity

Early in my career, I thought working longer hours meant I was more dedicated. I pushed myself hard, assuming that’s what it took to be successful.

Then I hit burnout. And I realized: If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of your team.

Now, I see balance differently:

? Taking time off isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of sustainability.

? Leaders who model balance create healthier teams.

? Your best ideas don’t come when you’re exhausted—they come when you give yourself space to think.

Success isn’t about working the hardest. It’s about working sustainably so you can lead for the long haul.

A Personal Story: The Moment It Clicked

There was a moment in my leadership journey when I realized I had it backward.

A talented team member resigned. When I asked why, they said: “I just don’t feel like I’m growing here.”

It hit me hard. I had been so focused on keeping things running smoothly that I had stopped investing in their growth.

That was a turning point. I started prioritizing career development conversations, advocating for stretch opportunities, and making sure every team member felt like they had a future.

Leadership isn’t about keeping things going. It’s about helping people move forward.

Bringing It All Together

If I could go back and tell myself anything, it would be this:

? Listen more than you talk.

? Measure your success by your team’s success.

? Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”

? Leadership is the biggest factor in retention—be someone people want to work for.

? You can’t do everything—prioritize what matters most.

? Work-life balance isn’t a perk; it’s a leadership responsibility.

Leadership isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning, adjusting, and growing every single day.

A Call to Leaders: What Do You Wish You Had Learned Sooner?

If you could go back 5 or 10 years, what’s one leadership lesson you’d tell your younger self?

Let’s share insights and help each other grow.