Leadership 301: Choosing Empathy over Conflict

Leadership usually conjures up images of people with grumpy faces closeted in their offices, making million-dollar deals, calling the shots on acquisitions, and making decisions all day long. Funnily so, a lot of the latter has changed or evolved, and today’s leaders know more than to make all the decisions themselves. The grumpy faces, though, are a whole other conversation.

Great leaders know that leadership is all about balancing corporate goals while nurturing a positive work environment where people want to do the things that they hitherto thought were impossible. The key to achieving this balance lies in empathetic leadership, which combines understanding and accountability, achieving shareholder value while fostering a supportive workplace culture.

Traditional leadership models often emphasized a confrontational approach, where leaders were expected to be decisive, assertive, and even aggressive when necessary. While this command-and-control style can be effective in certain situations, it can be detrimental to long-term employee morale and engagement. Not to mention that it completely defeats empathy at its very core.

The Power of Empathetic Leadership

Empathy in leadership is not about being soft with your team or avoiding difficult conversations. It is about understanding and valuing their perspectives, which is directly attributable to higher morale, increased loyalty, and measurably better performance in the workplace. A study by the Center for Creative Leadership found that leaders perceived as empathetic by their direct reports are more likely to be seen as effective by their superiors. The study highlighted that “empathy in the workplace is positively related to job performance,” emphasizing that empathetic leaders can effectively balance corporate goals with the well-being of their teams.

Balancing Empathy and Accountability

While empathy is crucial, leadership cannot be all about compassion. After all, it is not all sunshine and rainbows in the corporate park every day. ?If a leader is overly empathetic without holding people accountable, it can lead to complacency, lack of results, and an overall decline in leadership effectiveness. The consequence is detrimental to the leader, his/her team, and the overall organization. The key is to strike the right balance—being understanding and supportive while also setting clear expectations and holding team members to commitments made, projects to be delivered, and simply getting things done.

Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister of New Zealand, is often cited as a leader who effectively balances empathy with accountability. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Ardern’s empathetic communication style—marked by her calm and compassionate demeanor—was instrumental in gaining public trust and compliance with strict lockdown measures. At the same time, she was decisive and firm in implementing policies that prioritized public health and well-being. Ardern’s leadership, amongst many others, clearly demonstrates that it is possible to lead with empathy while still making tough decisions that are in the organization's best interest (or, in her case, the nation).

In her book "Manifesto for a Moral Revolution," Jacqueline Novogratz, founder and CEO of Acumen, a non-profit global venture fund, shares an experience that exemplifies her empathetic leadership style. When visiting a project in Pakistan, she encountered a group of women who were initially hesitant to speak with her. Instead of pushing her agenda, Novogratz sat with them, shared a meal, and listened to their stories.

Novogratz states, "Empathy is not the same as sympathy. It's about trying to understand the perspective of others, even when you disagree with them." This approach has allowed Acumen to build trust in communities where traditional aid organizations have struggled, leading to more effective and sustainable solutions to poverty.

The Practical Benefits of Empathetic Leadership

1. Improved Employee Engagement and Retention

Empathetic leaders are likelier to build strong, trusting relationships with their team members. This trust fosters a positive work environment, leading to higher levels of employee engagement and retention. According to a report by Businessolver , 93% of employees say they are more likely to stay with an empathetic employer, and 82% would consider leaving their job for a more compassionate organization.

In 2020, when Airbnb was hit hard by the global pandemic , CEO Brian Chesky faced the difficult decision of laying off 25% of the company’s workforce. However, Chesky approached the situation with empathy, providing generous severance packages, extending healthcare benefits, and creating a talent directory to help affected employees find new jobs. His empathetic approach was widely praised and helped maintain trust and goodwill among remaining employees and those laid off.

2. Enhanced Team Collaboration

Empathy encourages open communication and collaboration within teams. When team members feel understood and valued, they are more likely to contribute ideas and work together toward common goals. This collaborative environment can lead to increased innovation and better problem-solving. The beauty is that the whole thing can be achieved in an assertive yet non-threatening environment where employees do not fear being judged and ridiculed by others.

At Pixar, collaboration is at the heart of the creative process , and empathy plays a significant role in the process. The company’s Braintrust meetings, where directors and writers review and critique each other’s work, are designed to be candid but empathetic while holding the director accountable for the results. The goal is to provide constructive feedback that helps improve the project without undermining the individuals involved. This culture of empathy and collaboration has contributed to Pixar’s long-standing success in producing critically acclaimed films.

3. Conflict Resolution and Workplace Harmony

Leaders who prioritize empathy are better equipped to resolve conflicts within their teams. By understanding the underlying emotions and motivations of the parties involved, empathetic leaders can mediate disputes more effectively and maintain workplace harmony.

Indra Nooyi, former CEO of PepsiCo, is known for her empathetic leadership style , which she describes as “performance with purpose.” Nooyi focused on understanding the concerns of her employees, customers, and other stakeholders. Her empathetic approach not only helped resolve conflicts within the organization but also led to a significant shift in PepsiCo’s business strategy, prioritizing healthier products and sustainability. This strategy helped PepsiCo thrive in a changing market while maintaining strong internal and external relationships.

Practical Strategies for Empathetic Leadership

Practicing empathy while delivering on corporate commitments is easier said than done. The balancing act is not easy and takes a lot of learning and unlearning, even for the best among us. That said, a lot of empathetic leadership can be encapsulated into a few ideas listed below.

Active Listening: Pay full attention to your team members when they speak. This involves not just hearing their words but also understanding the emotions and intentions behind them.

Open Communication: Foster an environment where team members feel safe expressing their ideas and concerns. Google's Project Aristotle found that psychological safety was the most critical factor in building successful teams.

Personalized Approach: Recognize that each team member has unique needs and motivations. A study by Gallup found that employees whose managers involve them in goal setting are 3.6 times more likely to be engaged in achieving them.

Lead by Example: Demonstrate empathy in your actions. This creates a ripple effect throughout the organization.

Provide Constructive Feedback: When addressing performance issues, focus on behaviors rather than personal attributes. Kim Scott's concept of "Radical Candor" emphasizes the importance of caring personally while challenging directly.

Overcoming Challenges in Empathetic Leadership

Practicing empathetic leadership comes with its share of a steep learning curve. Between practicing empathy, achieving results, and not being seen as being gullible, there is a whole lot to be learned and practiced in real-time. Some of the common pitfalls include -

Avoiding Conflict: Practicing empathy does not mean you have to shy away from controversy. It's important to remember that addressing issues promptly and constructively is often the most empathetic approach in the long run.

Maintaining Boundaries: Being empathetic also means leaders must maintain professional boundaries between the personal and the professional. Setting clear expectations and being consistent in your approach is a great starting point to get there.

Balancing Individual Needs with Team Goals: Empathy shouldn't come at the cost of team or organizational objectives. Strive to align individual growth with company goals. The rule of thumb is always the same – Org first, Team next, Individual last. Leaders need to practice empathy within that framework.

As we move into an era where employee well-being and corporate social responsibility are becoming increasingly important, empathetic leadership is becoming not just a nice-to-have but a necessity for business success.

Modern leaders must cultivate empathy while maintaining the drive and accountability necessary for business success, achieving goals, and delivering shareholder value. By choosing empathy over conflict, leaders can create work environments that are not only more pleasant but also more productive and innovative.

As leaders, our goal should be to understand our teams deeply, guide them effectively, and together achieve remarkable results.