Leaders: Winning The War Inside.

Leaders today face many challenges. It’s not easy for anyone at this time, when things have turned upside down and inside out in so many ways. But, it’s especially not easy for leaders. Leaders have the immense responsibility, not only for themselves, but all those under their care.

I use the word ‘care’ on purpose because the term ‘leader’ doesn’t only refer to business. It refers to anyone who is responsible, in any way, for others. No matter how small your role, or how insignificant you may think it is. If you are responsible, in any way, for another human being, you, my friend, are a leader. As such, you are being looked to and looked at. Looked to, for direction, looked at, in assessment. In this article, I’m going to concentrate on this broad interpretation of leadership, rather than on purely business and organizational leadership.

As leaders, we have to be mindful about what we do and how we say things.  

I don’t mean to put anyone under greater stress than they already are. However, I think that we all have to periodically take a step back and analyze our behavior and how it affects those around us, not to mention how it affects ourselves.

Are we leading in such a way that we would want to have ourselves as a leader?

Now, let’s be honest. None of us is immune from bad behavior: being snappy, judgmental and harsh. When the stress mounts, we tend to ‘lose’ the niceties. All the finesse we’ve cultivated to improve ourselves can get forgotten in a flash. Or is that just me? Am I the only one who gets irritated when someone (metaphorically) steps on my toes, cuts me off in traffic, or is rude and inconsiderate?

Here’s where I’m going with this: if we are responsible for someone else, we are leaders, like it or not. That doesn’t mean we are a ‘good’ leader. To be a truly ‘good’ leader requires more than just having that role.  

We have to train ourselves to be the kind of leader we would be inspired to follow.

It means recognizing that, because we are human, we have multiple facets to our personalities. Some good, some not so good. Some that are altruistic, some that, especially under pressure, are downright selfish and immature.  

We have these two diametrically opposed natures at war within us. Often, which one ‘wins’ depends on the circumstances and situations we encounter, the people we are with and what’s at stake. Most of us recognize that. 

Those natures can’t be entirely controlled from the outside in. For the ‘good’ side to win, we have to win the war from the inside out. As someone once said, when we are squeezed hard enough, what’s really inside will come out, either sweet, or sour.  

To make sure that the ‘sweet’ side overcomes the ‘sour’ side doesn’t come naturally for most of us. It takes a consistent analysis of how we are acting and reacting and a conscious decision to choose the ‘good’ strategy and discard the bad. It’s just like learning anything. Practice, practice, practice. Analyze, assess, adjust. There’s no magic to it. It’s hard work. 

What helps us learn is being willing to see things through other peoples eyes. Understanding why they think how they think, and do what they do, can help us relate to them better. Relating better can help us make good choices as to how we respond. It’s those choices that determine which side wins the ‘war’ inside us. When the ‘good’ side wins, we behave in such a way as to preserve the dignity of everyone involved and acknowledge the other persons intrinsic value.  

Winning that war, in my opinion, is an important characteristic of a good leader.  

#Empathy #Leadership #Nimbulis #CWM #business #technology #innovation