Leaders who Fake-It cannot expect to Make-It

Article Four in the Series: The New Tough: Establishing a Foundation of Caring

From early in my sales training background I often heard the refrain, ‘fake it ’til you make it’ applied to many things from learning a new process to delivering a sales message to gaining new management skills. The phrase itself is deeply rooted in philosophical, religious and cognitive behavior therapy principles that indicate that if one wishes to change dysfunctional behaviors or wishes to act in a more positive manner, one can imitate the actions of another that is more confident, competent, optimistic, etc., in essence trying personality traits on for size – with the goal of adding these traits to their repertoire simply through the process of practice. 

This principle has become an integral part of leadership development and at its core the premise is a good one. One must step into untried and uncomfortable situations in order to create growth for oneself and one’s team; to behave as if one knows what one is doing helps create a feeling of courage that may otherwise be absent. Unfortunately for many leaders and organizations today, leaders are no longer using the “fake it ‘til you make it” phrase to help themselves or others move through challenging situations. Rather they are assuming leadership qualities they have no desire to create within themselves in hopes that the team will work hard enough that they can get their next bonus or accolade without caring a whit about growth or team development. “Fake it ‘til you make it” has become the zombie leader costume of choice. 

The New Tough Leader must reignite their lighthouse and in so doing, create an environment in which teams feel inspired to take courageous steps, embrace their fears, and celebrate the successes achieved. The New Tough Leader doesn’t “fake it until they make it”, but rather, “fakes it until they become it” and I suggest this can be done by implementing a few basic tenets I have learned from my favorite workout regimen, CrossFit. 

• Support their courage: Anyone that has ever attended a CrossFit gym knows that the workout is not done until everyone is finished. Not only do those that finish first wait for the rest, they scream, clap, cheer, encourage, and root for the success of those working toward the end. This support is unconditional. It does not depend on fitness level, depth of friendship, or any other factors.  In CrossFit, the community is one of leaders who demonstrate support in each other’s effort. Similarly, in the business world the most consistently performing teams are led by an NTL that fosters unbridled passion among team members to be their best individually and collectively. As a leader, the single most significant function one has is to provide full throated, unmitigated, unconditional, enthusiastic, and constant support despite relationship, position, or length of service.  
• Share the terror: My CrossFit coach often tells me that thinking about the lift or movement is far more frightening than the actual event. Fear is such an incredibly human response hard-wired into our being to keep us safe from being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger.  In modern times, the ‘tiger’ becomes what is unfamiliar, unattempted, or generally ‘new’.  It is human nature to favor the safety of the mediocre to the thrill of new heights. What makes an NTL successful is acknowledging this fear both in themselves and the team member and as a result, creating a moment of vulnerability that inspires trust, courage, and action.
• Let them succeed: According to HBR, most managers do not know how to coach. What most leaders understand to be coaching is really just telling others what to do as opposed to true coaching, which helps an individual discover their own potential. I have been privileged enough to witness true coaching skill when working with my CrossFit coaches. They do not stand behind an athlete screaming cues for every element of the move (micromanagement) or look at athletes’ success as their own personal achievement. What they do is encourage, acknowledge, and pick one thing as a focal point for the athlete to help him or her discover their own unique potential and achieve (or exceed) a stated goal.  And when the given action (in this case, a lift) is done successfully, the coach joins all others in celebration without qualifying in any way (it would have been better if ...). There will always be room for improvement but positive movement deserves celebration and, in my experience, CrossFit coaches do this particularly well.
• Use all available tools: Each team member is an individual and deserves to be led in a way that celebrates their unique abilities. Just like in CrossFit, a variety of equipment should be used to first identify and then build upon these abilities. An NTL knows what types of courses are offered by the learning department, knows what groups are subsidized by the organization (i.e. Toastmasters), creates a meeting schedule that supports the employees’ needs (not their own agenda), and finds and uses resources inside and outside of the company to develop and encourage the employees' success.
• Reaffirm: Consistent, positive messaging creates behaviors that an NTL can build successes upon.  By reinforcing the message of support, encouragement, and, at times, advice from the preceding points, a team led by an NTL will have the greatest probability of success.  

The need for agility and flexibility in the business world creates an environment where all leaders and teams must “fake it” to some extent or another as they come to understand what “normal” looks like in the constantly shifting sands of commerce. But as we have discussed here, an NTL must only fake it with the expectation of fully becoming what or whom they are representing themselves to be. By supporting the courage each team member exhibits, openly and honestly acknowledging fear that exists when change has to occur, and providing adequate tools, affirmation, and support, the New Tough Leader sets the stage for a team that that is loyal, productive, and innovative -- in other words, a team that has “become it”. 

Ken Kilday is an inspirational leadership coach and consultant whose focus is on coaching to individual strengths and fostering growth beyond self-imposed limitations.  His passion for helping others achieve leadership excellence is the motivation for this series of articles as he formally launches his Executive Coaching / Speaking / Consulting company. Connect with Ken via LinkedIn, Twitter, or at kenkilday.com.