Leaders, What We Don't Say...

Speaks as Loudly as What We Do Say...

Silence is the most effective, and loudest, "voice" of hypocrisy.

Our voices matter. People listen to us. Or at least those are the things we tell ourselves as "leaders", correct? And most likely, they are true. But make no mistake, the issues we are silent on, or the things we ignore, speak just as loudly as if we had screamed across a crowded room. People "listen" to what we do not say.

There used to be a commonly held believe that we can have our professional selves and our personal selves. If social media has done no other thing for society, it has abolished that misheld conception. My belief is that the greatest of leaders have always abandoned the illusion of that notion, and have brought their one true self to each situation, each interaction, each environment that they encounter, particularly the environments/ecosystems they are entrusted to lead.

Our belief systems are the foundation of what we bring to the table. They cannot be masked by a fa?ade or hidden behind a polished (or unpolished) veneer in either sphere of life. To hold in place a mask that does not fit is exhausting, and futile, because eventually that belief system shines through; sometimes in some slipped reference or comment, but most often in what is NOT said.

How often do we as "leaders" avoid sharing our position, or provide a safe space for our teams to have meaningful discourse, on controversial social and societal (human) issues that affect our workplace, because they affect our PEOPLE, due to the notion that work isn't the place for "those" discussions... meaning the real, gritty, self-evaluating, self-searching, convicting, change-making discussions. The unspoken, or worse, the "posted", policies of let's leave politics, religion, racism and sex out of "polite" or "professional" conversation. Let's not rock the boat with our boards, or our bosses, or our clients, or our teams, or our communities by embracing the harsh landscape of the battlegrounds of seeking equity for all people, abolishing systemic historical and generational racism, maintaining a person's right to love whom they choose to love, maintaining a woman's right to her own health and reproductive decisions, enacting gun laws that protect those who cannot protect themselves, addressing mental illness as an illness and not as a stigma... the list goes on because the complexity of this big, beautiful, diverse, broken world of people goes on and on.

We are called, as leaders of other people, to shine our light when situations get dark, to offer our assistance when there is someone in need, and to use our voices to advocate for others. People of all types can lead. It does not mean they lead well or they lead for the good of anyone but themselves, it merely means they can get others to follow them. To lead well and do well, and deserve the moniker of leader, we must lean into empathy; the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. How else can we honestly say that we "understand"... Or that "we are with you".... Or even (or perhaps most importantly) "I don't agree with you, can I share my perspective"; or "have you thought of it from another perspective", if we ourselves have never bothered to look at "it" (whatever "it" is) from another's perspective.

I will say it again, because I believe it to be true: Silence is the most effective, and loudest, "voice" of hypocrisy. As leaders we cannot allow our own fears/image/hypocrisy, or those of others within our sphere of influence, to undermine and erode the quality of our leadership, the quality of the legacy of what we will leave behind for others, and the quality of our relationships. We must use our "out loud", "audible", "visible" voice in support of those we claim to lead, those we claim to care about. It is how we can bring people together to find the pathway to true solutions/true community/true success. Our silence on important human issues can only serve to nurture (and even fertilize) the weeds of division/dissolution/distrust that grow up through the cracks between what do we say and the silence/inaction that speaks more loudly than we are often willing to admit.