The Leaders Three Legged Stool

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During a coaching session with one of my clients , she recalled that she was missing something in her life.? She compared it to a three-legged stool, and consequently provided me with a writing prompt.? I’m a fan of Western author, Louis L’Amour and find great life lessons in his novels and short stories.? I’m also a fan and proponent of Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence Habits, and EQ 2.0.

Life, like a sturdy three-legged stool, stands solid when all parts are equally strong and balanced. Each leg represents a fundamental area: Self, Family, and Profession. The concept of a balanced life finds support in works like Dr. Travis Bradberry's Emotional Intelligence Habits, where nurturing emotional awareness strengthens our resilience and relationships. Even Louis L’Amour, whose characters often face moral choices with courage and personal integrity, suggests a life founded on such values creates enduring stability.

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?Self: Strengthening the First Leg

The first leg, Self, represents our inner world—our personal development, emotional intelligence, and self-care. Dr. Travis Bradberry explains that emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness, the ability to understand our emotions and triggers. Self-improvement, according to Bradberry, is an ongoing commitment. He encourages cultivating habits that foster resilience, such as daily reflection and stress management.

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The practice of strengthening the self-leg also involves building self-discipline and creating routines that support our goals. Louis L’Amour wrote, “The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail.” This wisdom echoes the importance of valuing the journey of self-development over specific outcomes. By focusing on the process of becoming better, we reinforce the stability of our personal lives, ultimately enhancing our ability to contribute meaningfully to the other "legs" of family and profession.

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?Family: The Pillar of Connection and Responsibility

The second leg, Family, symbolizes our connections with loved ones. Bradberry emphasizes the role of emotional intelligence in building strong relationships, noting that empathy, patience, and clear communication are foundational. Family relationships require a level of commitment that goes beyond words—actions rooted in understanding and compassion keep this leg grounded. Bradberry discusses the importance of “creating lasting relationships” by showing up for others, listening actively, and fostering trust.

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Louis L’Amour’s characters often embody this loyalty to family, depicting individuals willing to make sacrifices for the people they love. In a world full of distractions, maintaining strong family bonds requires conscious effort and prioritizing quality time. This leg is strengthened by acts of service, empathy, and the courage to prioritize relationships over work or self-interest. Family not only supports us but can often be the very reason we strive to improve ourselves and advance in our profession.

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?Profession: Purpose and Contribution

The third leg, Profession, is about our contribution to society through our work. Bradberry highlights how professional success is not only about technical skill but also about social awareness, adaptability, and teamwork—core elements of emotional intelligence. Engaging fully in one’s profession can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as it allows individuals to apply their strengths to meaningful work.

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Louis L’Amour believed that integrity in one’s work and life is paramount. In his novels, we often find protagonists who, despite adversity, act with a strong sense of responsibility and pride in their work. This sense of integrity extends beyond earning a living; it’s about finding alignment between personal values and professional life. When our work reflects who we are and serves a higher purpose, we bring stability to this leg of the stool.

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?Achieving Balance: Practical Strategies

To keep the stool steady, each leg must be given adequate attention and care. Here are some strategies for balancing these three areas:

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1. Set Clear Boundaries: Define times for self-care, family, and work. Boundaries create space for each leg to stand strong without encroaching on the others.

2. Regular Reflection: Make it a habit to check in with yourself weekly or monthly. Ask, "Am I giving adequate time and effort to each leg?" Adjust as needed.

3. Foster Emotional Intelligence: Practice the principles from Emotional Intelligence Habits to enhance resilience and empathy in all three areas.

4. Embrace Flexibility: Just as a stool can wobble if one leg is too weak, life requires flexibility. Be open to making changes that reflect your evolving priorities.

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?Conclusion

The three-legged stool serves as a metaphor for a life that is resilient and purpose-driven. By nurturing the self, cherishing family, and contributing professionally, we create a balanced life. Bradberry’s emotional intelligence insights offer a blueprint for strengthening each leg, while L’Amour’s timeless principles remind us that values such as integrity, resilience, and loyalty form the backbone of stability. When we balance these three pillars, we create a life that, like a well-made stool, can weather the test of time and challenges.