Leaders Take an Inward Look First

It is a natural reflex to want to jump in to help others when you see them in distress. Well, natural for leaders that is.

Even as a leader, it is important to step back and look inward first when the help includes connecting with people at a different level professionally.

Because honestly, how can you go “prying” into what others need or want if you have not asked yourself that question first?

This is a common misstep of leaders. In the rush to address problems with their team, they often forget to put themselves in their place first.

Your situation will not be exactly like your colleagues; not at all.

However, taking time to reflect on your own needs and wants during stressful times will help you remember to be human when reaching out to others. It is that level of authenticity that will pay dividends over the long term.

Another reality that comes forward is that you do not have to have all the answers. In fact, it is unlikely that you will. However, asking the right questions will help guide you to the appropriate answers for you and others over time. The answers do not have to originate with you; you may just serve as the vehicle for delivery.

One of my favorite quotes about relationship building and networking is by Tommy Spaulding, author of “It’s Not Just Who You Know,” where he states, “Netgiving is all about entering relationships with a ‘servant’ mentality versus a ‘to-be-served’ mentality.”

And as a leader, you are in servant mode here. So, prepare yourself accordingly.

How do you prepare?

You must know what your needs are professionally AND personally-- What do you need? What do you still want?

Where are the people in your network– professionally and emotionally? What are their needs and wants?

Spend some time engaging in these questions thoroughly for yourself and your people BEFORE you reach out.

You do not have to know all the answers; but you must be comfortable with asking the questions. You can base your initial answers on your observations and impressions.

But do not get stuck there.

We will explore that more in week three when we talk about next steps and reaching out.

Patricia V. Hayes, JD, is an Executive Advisor, Leadership Empowerment Coach and Authentic Networking Strategist who guides female professionals, entrepreneurs, and their teams to take empowered action in their careers and businesses by creating and building sustainable professional relationships authentically and purposefully.