A Leader’s Rock & A Hard Place; How to Lead When Stuck Between Upper Management and a High Performer!

Middle Management can be hard! It’s one of the first promotions into a position of leadership. Higher-ups have seen your professional worth and believe you have what it takes to be in a position of leadership… It’s an exciting time; full of pride, anxiety, and the ever-lasting pressure of meeting the desires and sometimes unrealistic expectations of those above you… along with the task to lead those under you! In a perfect world, you and upper management are on the same page, patient, and willing to brainstorm to build together, the front-line employees love their job, and accept all duties, expectations, rules, and changes without a problem… Yeah right!

Perhaps you and upper management aren’t on the same page and you’re frustrated as you’re still expected to follow through. The expectation has been set but you have front-line superstars that do their own thing and are more protected professionally than you are. This happens in sports quite a bit… The owner likes a certain player, pays him/her a lot of money, the player performs, the coach’s job is to make it work… even though the player breaks all the rules, is a locker room problem, and is uncoachable… sound familiar at your job? So, what to do?

“The Meeting”

The first step, as the person in the middle, is to meet with the top! It’s important, and necessary, to be on the same page… as much as possible. Remember, your job and professional advancement may depend on it. Whether you stay at the job or venture elsewhere; news of your reputation will travel… Be sure it’s saying what you want it to say!

In your meeting with Upper Management, it’s your goal to walk out of the room or close the laptop with a clearer understanding of a few powerful things:

1. What’s the exact mission of my job? – Get clear on what you are expected to do and accomplish.
2. How much control do you have within in your position? – A position of leadership with zero decision-making abilities may quickly become and position of frustration. What issues or decisions need to be discussed with upper management first regarding employee issues?
3. What do we absolutely agree with regarding the Vision, Expectations, and Rules of the organization and team… sharing your best ways to lead through infractions? It may be a great idea to ask Upper Management what they like about your ideas and anything they’d fine-tune.

Whether you agreed with the outcome of the conversation or not… the answers to these questions will prove you more clarity, direction, and confidence moving forward. However, it will not always play out this simple and like with everything, there are outliers… That all-star employee that’s a high-performer and doesn’t have to follow the rules, that employee that was hired as a family favor and will never get fired, or the employee that has all the potential in the world but never reaches it and hurts the team with mistake after mistake after mistake. I could go on, but you get it!

I’ve had the pain and privilege of working with and leading all three types and have been professionally impacted by them all; as I’m sure you have! The All-Star is undeniable, you see their talent and potential to be the best at what they do and advance quickly. As a leader, praise their ability; letting them know the intention of your role for individuals on the team, the team, and the organization, your belief in them, and your dedication to help fine-tune their skills for the pitfalls you know are coming and they don’t. When I was a Mental Health Therapist working in an Alternative School, I worked with a gentleman that was an all-star connector and was eager to fix every issue for every student and every staff. My job became helping him to hone his skills, teach him how to teach other staff to do what he did; allowing other people to lead… all in efforts to improve the entire team and save him from certain burn-out and frustration when the luster of the job begins to fade.

I’ve worked under the “Family-Hire”; a good person, but a terrible fit for the position… and was not going to get fired! I’m sad to say, I did not behave my best. I grew frustrated quickly, vented to anyone who’d listen, disconnected from my team and my passion, became the worst version of myself professionally, and was presented with an option to transfer sites. Looking back, it was the turning point of my professional life; leading me to the very beginning of what I am today as a professional speaker, author, and leadership trainer. However, I still wish I’d handled it better!

Lastly, I employed “The Potential” and let way too many things slide; negatively impacting my leadership and reputation. He was a good person, but not every good person is a good fit… Lesson learned! So, how do you connect, build, motivate, and move forward… keeping your job, enhancing your leadership and work/life harmony, and building theirs?

The Marriage

Now that you’ve come to an understanding with leadership; it’s time to bond and connect with “The High Performer” that’s causing you so many headaches and sleepless nights! I know it sounds dramatic, but isn’t it? I recommend a marriage; all with the vision and mission to create and achieve a desired professional lifestyle predicated on communication, big-vision habits, positivity, and follow-through. To achieve this, you have two choices:

1. “The Jimmy Johnson Approach” – Jimmy Johnson is most famous for being the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys in the 1990’s, winning three Superbowls, and creating a dynasty. His approach to leadership and star players was tough… but not necessarily fair or equal. It’s reported he told his team… the stars will be treated differently and had a longer rope. It was also reported, he shared with his stars when he was going to yell at them in front of the team; to make an impact on everyone and to let the back-up players they’d better not think of making a mistake. Agree or disagree… he was upfront and consistent. Granted, there are some concerns to this approach as star professionals tend to use the extra rope to hang themselves.
2. The Marriage – involves sitting with your high-performer to share:

• The positives of their abilities and high potential as an individual; on the team and within the organization.
• Increase your understanding of what they want to get out of working for and with you? Why are they there? Help to develop their Vision & Vision Factors (The 3-5 things that when done consistently make the vision come true)
• Share your Vision & Vision Factors as a leader
• Marry your goals
• Agree to become a team; exhibiting a combined vision, plan, expectations, and rules that can be revisited regularly to maintain the relationship, the team, and the business!

Follow Through

I know, the above sounds “cheesy” and it doesn’t always work as neatly as I described. However, what does? The truth is… this initial meeting is simply the beginning… and when done with sincerity and an honest passion to get to know someone, really work together, and win is powerful. What happens next usually tanks results… you get busy as a leader and neglect to follow up, maintain 1-on-1 connection, and the relationship never gets to flourish. Or, you get busy and during times of high stress… people revert to what they know… and behave accordingly. Don’t be so busy being busy that you forget to build and be better!

After you’ve had “The Meeting”, “The Marriage”, and Followed Through with regular 1-on-1 Meetings… and things are still not going the way you like… sad to say, but the job or position may not be for you and you have a choice to make.

You can gripe, pout, and vent your frustrations to anyone who’ll listen… and believe me; you will find someone to listen and you will find momentary comfort in them agreeing with you. However, it will not change the reality of your situation… and will make it worse over time as your negative thoughts and words will eventually drip into your actions… making you a part of the problem!

Therefore, the option that will enhance your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony is to understand and marry YOUR WHY. Why are you still at that job, continue to show up daily, and collect a check every two weeks? Whatever your reason… money, advancement opportunities, experience, etc… Marry your Why! Know what you’re getting out of showing up… and that’s your Vision and Mission. Next, enhance your Superpower; whatever your good at… get great at! If things get better at work… you’ll be better moving forward as a better professional. If things get worse and you leave… you’ll leave as an asset; not a liability. Enjoy your relationships and network better… Who do you enjoy at work? Who’s positive, productive, and inspiring… spend your time with them to enjoy your day or work experience! Lastly, when all this has failed; the writing is on the wall and it may be time to walk away with your head held high and eagerly ready for the next chapter of your professional and personal life!

“As a leader, it’s important to know… Not every good person is a good fit and that’s ok”   – Andre Young

Written by: Andre Young

Enhance Leadership and Work/Life Harmony in your Organization, your Leaders, Employees, and Teams with Andre Young’s Speaking Engagements, Evolve & Lead Training Programs (on-site, online, or virtual), and1-on-1 Growth Sessions! www.youevolvingnow.com