A Leader's Question!

Although I have a Master’s Degree… school and I did not get along for many years! I think back to school and sitting in rows, forced memorizing, and receiving lower grades based off of APA Style instead of my content, and many other irritations I could mention! I ended my 10th grade year with a stellar 4 F’s, two D’s, and a C. I can still remember my mother’s face as she squinted trying to comprehend the letter “F” on my report card… and four of them to boot! I struggled to understand why my grades were so low; as I went to school, attended the classes, but something was off.

Thankfully my passion for football was a driving motivating force to show up to school and do what I had to do so I could do what I wanted to do. Football enabled me to attend college and it wasn’t until my Junior year that I learned how I learned best, how to study, and it certainly helped that my classes began more interesting and more introspective. In graduate school… all of my classes were introspective as I studied Counseling Psychology with a specialty in Marriage and Family. My grades soared and so did I. What I realized is… I had difficulty with attention and focus… and an even harder time learning things I don’t care about. I also benefited greatly from seeing it done, doing it, and if it’s not something I will do often… I must write it down to refer back to it. This also played out in sports; as you move up levels from high school to college, to professional… if you are not the starter; there are less and less reps (practice plays) for you. Being able to witness, simulate on your own, and write things down… will become your best friend! But…. In all my years of schooling and playing… no teacher, coach, or employer ever asked me how I learned best!

As with my Leader’s 7, most leaders will speak the language they are most comfortable with to motivate their team, but what if your employees, team, kids, etc. speak a different language? Most leaders will teach and train new employees and teammates in the language that’s easiest to them, but how about this question… “How do you learn best?” Of course… every business, team, school, etc. has their own protocol and time constraints that must be respected… however, when we can and where we can… isn’t this a powerful question?

Have you ever had someone explain something to you and you struggled to understand, keep up, and become more and more anxious as the other person becomes noticeably more and more frustrated… not concerned with changing their style… just more and more agitated with YOU! Now… add a pending performance review on top of it (they happen in sports too). How cool would it be if that same person asked you, “How do you learn best?” and they applied or at the minimum mixed in their style with want you needed most!

4 Styles of Learning

1. Visual – Teach the person via pictures, video, etc.

2. Auditory – Use sound or music to teach

3. Verbal – Teach utilizing words and/or writing

4. Physical – Teach by allowing the person to do. (A Hands-On Learner)

The power of The Leader’s Question played out with my wife and I many years ago. I asked for her help with an issue on my computer. My wife is a tech genius… especially compared to me… and was more than willing to help. She stood over my shoulder and spit a barrage of words at me. I was lost! Then she assumed control of my keyboard and mouse to fix the problem. She was being her version of helpful… but I was left lost, frustrated, and no more knowledgeable than I was when I started. Whose keyboard and mouse may you be grabbing as a Professional, a Parent, or Sibling?

You may be a leader at your job or on your team, but you may also be a leader in so many other realms. A leader is the one who knows more, can show the way, and is willing to assist, make an impact, and uplift along the way. This does not take away the responsibility of the Follower. Yes, I said “Follower”… it’s not a bad word! We don’t know everything and sometimes Leaders must know when to follow and followers must know when to assume leadership. In my computer situation with my wife… it was my job (and I did) to slow the leader down and share my learning style. I simply asked my wife if she could slow down, tell and show me, and I wrote the steps down… allowing me future competence to not have to ask the same question/s later.

“Sometimes Leaders must know when to follow and followers must know when to assume leadership.” – Andre Young

I implore you to utilize the “Leader’s Question” the next time you are struggling to understand why your employee, player, student, child, or partner are simply “not getting it”. It could be several reasons that have nothing to do with us… but it is possible that caring enough to ask and apply how another person learns best can be the key to their and your combined success! Enjoy your EVOLUTION!!!

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written by: Andre Young