Leaders, Please Take Your Seats ...

“Who remembers playing musical chairs at birthday parties when you were little?”

I asked this question to a group of leaders last week during a workshop I was running and I have to admit I got some pretty strange responses. In fact, I always get a similar reaction from a group of leaders whenever I ask this question. A few awkward smiles; a few puzzled faces; and perhaps even a few nervous looks from some of the group as they experience traumatic flashbacks to a seven year old kid’s birthday party, the music stopping, and them not being able to find a chair. Oh, the horror!

It was part of the framing for a particular activity I had planned to run with the leaders – an exercise called the four chairs – a versatile metaphor exploring leadership dynamics.

I got everyone in the group to close their eyes for a moment, and to picture their entire team sitting around a boardroom table. I then introduce the concept of four possible chairs for them to occupy – one at the head of the table; another along one side of the table; one at the back of the boardroom; and the last one outside the boardroom. I emphasise that naturally there’s no ‘perfect’ chair to select. Each has its place depending on the specific situation, but self-awareness is key. And although it’s a relatively simple exercise, just choosing a chair can reflect profound truths about someone’s leadership tendencies.

Where would you typically sit?

Chair #1: Head of the Table | The Captain or Commander

If you think you would gravitate towards Chair 1, you might typically portray a more directive leadership style with your position at the table being more conducive to driving action and setting the course.

Sitting at the head of the table is most effective in crisis or high-pressure situations, times of uncertainty, or when decisive action is needed and where, as a leader, you are able to provide clarity of vision and purpose. You can also create a sense of structure and direction that helps your team focus – for example when setting strategic goals or rolling out new initiatives, or with new or less experienced team members needing strong guidance from an authority figure.

However, it’s important to be mindful that by always choosing Chair 1, you could risk micromanaging, reducing team autonomy, and perhaps even stifling creativity. In an ideal world, you would try to avoid creating a sense of dependency where your team might wait for instructions rather than taking initiative.

Are you aiming to provide leadership or are you controlling too tightly? Even at the head of the table, it’s important to balance authority with active listening, and to make space for the others’ input.

Chair #2: Alongside the Team | The Collaborator or Co-Creator

Picking Chair 2 and choosing to sit alongside your team members reinforces a more collaborative leadership style. This allows you to build trust and foster innovation and is most effective when brainstorming, team building, focusing on team effectiveness, or when leading a more mature team that is capable of contributing equally.

From this seat, you’re more likely to encourage open dialogue and shared problem solving, creating an inclusive atmosphere with stronger interpersonal connections and team cohesion. Having said that, one of the downsides of Chair 2 is that the boundaries could inadvertently become blurred between leader and peer. This could result in role confusion where, as a leader, you may struggle to assert authority if conflicts arise, or cause decision-making to slow down if consensus takes too long.

Are you empowering collaboration, or is the team stuck in endless discussion? Make sure you are crystal clear about your role as a facilitator, not a bystander, and make sure you are still guiding the process even while keeping it collaborative.

Chair #3: Back of the Room | The Observer, Mentor, or Evaluator

You might typically choose Chair 3 during team discussions or presentations to evaluate participation, contribution, or when assessing how well your team might be operating independently. From Chair 3, your role is really to watch various team dynamics unfold, offer feedback, and identify gaps or potential opportunities. By stepping back and demonstrating a more observant leadership style, you can pinpoint blind spots and allow other potential emerging leaders to shine.

As an observant leader, sitting at the back of the room provides a fresh perspective enabling you to focus on the bigger picture without being embroiled in detail. This also encourages team members to take ownership of the discussion and actions. Just be mindful that there’s a chance you might be perceived as disengaged or detached unless you make it clear as to exactly why you have chosen Chair 3.

Are you observing to learn and guide, or are you retreating from leadership responsibilities? Stay observant but be prepared to step in if you spot conflicts, misunderstandings, or if the team starts to drift too far from the task or goal in question.

Chair #4: Outside the Room | The Empowerer or Trust Builder

If you want to build a culture of trust and autonomy, choose to sit in Chair 4 at least every once in a while and don’t even attend the team meeting. Not only will this free you up to focus on higher-level strategic responsibilities, but it will encourage team ownership, accountability, and leadership development.

Embracing a trusting leadership style isn’t always easy, and is realistically most effective when leading more mature, self-directed teams, or if you are a leader of leaders.

Pick Chair 4 when you want to let go of direct involvement and when you want to empower your team, giving them space to lead by letting them know that you trust them to deliver. This approach is more likely to be successful when your team is experienced, skilled, and aligned on its objectives.

While some of your team may feel completely empowered by such an approach, as with the leader occupying Chair 3 above, you might risk certain team members perceiving your absence as a lack of interest, a lack of care, or disengagement, leading to morale issues. If overused, it may even create a disconnect between you and your team.

Are you trusting your team to thrive, or are you abdicating responsibility? It’s up to you to create clear boundaries and check-in points to maintain alignment without micromanaging.

Each chair represents a critical aspect of leadership. Mastery doesn’t mean being perfect at one. It’s about knowing when to use each and being agile enough to adapt.

Effective leaders shift chairs based on the specific context. For example, you might start a project in Chair 1 to provide clarity and direction; move to Chair 2 to co-create solutions with your team members; shift to Chair 3 to observe execution; and finally sit in Chair 4 empowering the team to take over.

You may not always realise how your your team members perceive where you choose to sit at the table. It’s important to ask them for feedback – i.e. do they believe you move between chairs effectively? Or where do they think you spend too much or too little time?

Of course, in today’s many remote and hybrid work environments, as a leader you might find yourself sitting in the same chair in every meeting. Your desk chair. And in virtual meetings you really don’t have any say as to which box you might appear in on a Zoom or Teams screen. But even if there’s no actual table, the idea of working through the four chairs exercise isn’t necessarily about physical seating arrangements, but to get leaders to think where they would hypothetically sit, and what this might reveal about their preferred leadership style.

Knowing which chair to sit in at the right time is a skill in itself.

What does your default chair say about your leadership style? When was the last time you intentionally chose a different seat?