A Leader’s M.E.N.T.O.R.; The 6 Keys to Becoming the Mentor Your People Need!

On my Leader’s Toolbox Podcast, I often end the show by asking Guests a series of random rapid-fire questions. One of which is, “What would people be surprised to know about you?” I love my Guests’ answers; as you can never assume what will be shared and it opens up a whole new world of THEM! My answer to that question is, I used to play guitar… not very well and not for very long, but I did, Lol! The real surprise was the Leadership Lesson I picked up while learning to play guitar.

I was nine years old and growing up in Inner-City Philadelphia in the late 80’s. My neighborhood had changed significantly since my parents moved to the street. Crack Cocaine swept through our neighborhood like a tsunami and swept away so many good ad unsuspecting people, young and old. We were lucky to live on our street; as we had options! I always remember my parents telling my brother and I… when you leave the house, walk up the street not down the street. Up the street was OK and safer… down the street was a scene out of a movie: drug addicts lined up for blocks, drug dealers on the corners, fights, shootings, and I’ll never forget the mobile police camper stationed on the corner every summer that couldn’t leave or all heck would break loose. Why am I telling you this… which way do you think young Andre Young had to walk with his guitar to get to his guitar lessons?

You got it! There I was, amidst the unfathomable chaos, carrying my guitar in the same brown cardboard box it came in through drug dealers, drug vials, corner boys, and that police camper. The funny thing is… I remember it being surreal, but I was never worried and no one ever bothered me. My guitar teacher was awesome and I loved it. I also remember crying like a baby when he quit… and that was the end of guitar for me! My point to the story is, he was my first mentor. It was the first time I loved something and needed to accept teaching from someone else to get better at it. My parents had no idea how to help me with guitar lessons and this was before Youtube… I needed a Mentor to help me with my passion.

As a Leader, within an organization and in life, there will come a time when someone WILL approach you and ask you to be their Mentor! The request may be formal or informal as they’re always asking questions and you find yourself always teaching. It’s surreal when you’re boldly asked, and it’s an honor to step back and see how they see you! Over the years, I’ve been asked by several individuals and I always found it shocking, overwhelming, and struggled to know how to respond… then of course, I accepted… but not without working guidelines, boundaries, and expectations. So, what are they?

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M. – Mindful!

It will be flattering when you’re Direct Report, Employee, friend, stranger, etc. asks you to be their Mentor… it will also be overwhelming, confusing, daunting, and you’ll quickly assess your time and feel too busy to do so. Therefore, it’s necessary to be mindful about:

• What do they want to get out of working with you as their Mentor?
• Do you possess the information they’re seeking? If so, great! If not, be honest regarding your limitations and refer when necessary.
• Will this be a formal arrangement with set days and times to meet? What happens when you’re present and they “no-show” for scheduled mentoring sessions? My rule is/was, I wait for ten minutes and the session is concluded and ALL Formal Mentoring Sessions are discontinued after two uninformed misses.
• Is this an informal arrangement consisting of real-time questions while in the act of working together, shadowing, reviewing of projects, etc.?
• What are their goals? What do they desire to achieve and why? Just because they get better at what they want to improve in, doesn’t mean they automatically get their desired prize! Does their improved skillset directly or indirectly impact who they’re giving their effort to in a way that’s desired and beneficial? For example, you can help your Mentee improve their computer skills but their boss may need them to improve their People-Skills… or vice versa. Be sure you know their goal, but also the goals from the other side!

These are necessary questions to allow your Mentee to be clear about what they want and why they want it in order to develop effective goals and an impactful plan!

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E. – Excited!

Remember to be and stay excited! Do you remember being excited about your passion, wanting to learn, and then having to be taught by a grump who’s easily agitated, uninterested, and/or too busy? Be excited someone values you so highly and about the impact you get to make on their world both professionally and personally!

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N.- Number?

This key may be relevant for some and not for others. When mentoring is informal, at your job or with a friend in the community, the number of sessions may not be applicable. However, in more formal situations when someone has asked you to be their official Mentor… how many times or sessions do you think it will take, are you willing to provide, does your schedule allow for?

Informal Mentoring may simply go with the flow, as you share workspace or community space with a person and the transfer of information is more seamless. More formal Mentoring may require more of a schedule.

Years ago, I was a Keynote Speaker for a Human Resource Conference in Philly (a great homecoming experience) and a young man approached me. He stated he’d come from Ohio to hear me speak. He saw I was the keynote, visited my site, decided to attend, and approached me with amazing conversation and questions, and later asked if I could be his Mentor. Yes, it can happen just like that, Lol! It was an honor connecting with him, addressing his goals and concerns, and developing a plan for his professional and personal life!

When mentoring is more formal:

• How many sessions?
• What’s the duration of each session?
• What’s the format of your sessions: Greeting, Intro, Content, Closing, Howework?
• Keep in mind, your mentoring content and flow may become an unintended sellable item as a service you decide to provide for others, a pre-recorded master class, or an internal training tool for your Team or company… Be Mindful!

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T. – Teaching Style?

Once you know what your Mentee desires to get from working with you and have a formal or informal plan… what’s your Teaching Style and does it match their Learning Style?

Are you more verbal… sharing information while talking on the fly? Are you more written… sharing info in emails, writing, or recommending books or articles? Are you more hands-on… expecting them to see you and repeat and expecting them to jump-in? What’s their Learning Style?

These are necessary things to know as a Mentor and for your Mentee to know about themselves moving forward! It may certainly save some frustration down the line, as it’s easy to mistake inaction or frequent mistakes for a lack of motivation… Be Mindful!

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O. – Opportunities!

Simply put, Mentors allow for opportunity! Does your shared knowledge provide your Mentee with their desired opportunity… or the opportunity to read the writing on the wall?

I never promise my concepts will work just as Leaders and Teams desire… I do however promise they will find out who they work for? When the organization not only talks the talk, but also walks the walk… things will improve. For example, I teach how to positively enhance communication, connection, culture, and results with People. However, a company, their Leaders, and Teams must choose to walk the walk when I’m NOT there and once training concludes; placing the concepts learned into their work calendars, IT software, meetings, and more.

What about that reading the writing on the wall comment? Sometimes, your knowledge, feedback, and advice as a Mentor may show your Mentee they’re the right horse, but in the wrong race. You could give them all the right information, but their Boss or their company is not ready or willing for their growth… and that’s OK! The dream is the dream, but only when you’re willing to be flexible… marrying the dream, not the path!

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R. – Review Progress!

This is a typical missed nugget as “Busy” beasts so may Mentors and Mentees; as time passes, gains are made, opportunities are seized, and people fade. With more formal Mentorship… the sessions conclude, everyone goes their separate ways, and perhaps paths will cross in the future. Therefore, it’s important for the Mentor to know how they helped and the Mentee; allowing you to improve your methods, content, and possible sellable item for the future! It’s also important for the Mentee to be aware of what they learned and how they’ve improved; as gains can sometimes go unnoticed making them view your Mentorship as ineffective and a waste of time… Be Mindful!

As a Professional Speaker and Leadership Trainer, it’s easy to think what you said and taught is what was received… especially the BIG Concept you came up with and think you’re famous for! It wasn’t until I started asking this question after every concept and training session, “What was your Biggest Takeaway?” did I understand 200 different people can take away 200 different things… and it may NOT be the thing you really wanted them to get… and that’s OK!

Lastly, your Mentee’s answer to what their Biggest Takeaway is after every lesson, session, and training is monumentally important. It allows them to know they learned something… and they can now develop a plan of how to marry it with the needs of the person they plan to use it with. This allows them to never forget your impact and hopefully inspires them to be a Mentor for someone coming behind them!

You now know how to better Mentor, what was your Biggest Takeaway?

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“Marrying your dream, not the path… Be Mindful!” – Andre Young

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Written by: Andre Young

Are you looking to impact your Organization, Leaders, Teams, and Employees with Leadership & Work/Life Harmony Trainings or a Speaker? Click www.youevolvingnow.com to connect, chat, and customize with Andre Young!