Leaders Know Which Buttons To Press

Those of you who have kids or are kids at heart, may have seen the film Inside Out. It is an animation about the adventures of five “emotions” – five characters that live within a little girl’s head and dictate her reactions to the events around her. The characters are: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust and Anger.

It is a simplistic version of what really goes on in our heads, but there is much truth to the basic premise. The characters’ work is based around a control panel, and they can press various buttons and pull certain levers to produce a suitable reaction from the girl. They don’t always get it “right” and this is what gives the film its charming and true-to-life quality.

The film also briefly lets us into the heads of the mother and father of the girl, and there we see slightly different versions of these five emotions. You are left with the impression that they are unique to each of us in our idiosyncrasies.

In made me think about some of the best leaders in business and how they seem to have a direct shortcut to the control panels of their teams. They understand how to influence each person on an individual level and key to this is that pressing a certain button for one person will not have the same effect as pressing it for another person.

One manager may well be motivated by the fear of failure, and although this should not be abused, every now and again, a gentle hint as to the ramifications might do the trick. On the other hand, hinting at potential failure to someone else might cause them to freeze and back away – they might need more of an encouraging and coaxing hand.

Leaders learn about how their people react in certain situations by observing them and listening to them. They build up an “instruction manual” in their heads and with every new experience, they are that little bit better informed as to which buttons to press in the future. Of course, it is impossible to get into someone’s head entirely (unless you are a hypnotist), but the key is to understand someone’s preferred behaviour patterns. When the time comes, there is less doubt about which buttons to press.

I suppose that this could be seen as the key to influencing. Doing something or saying something (“pressing the button”) to elicit the desired reaction from someone. To influence, you have to be able to touch people right in their core, reaching the essence of who they are and appealing to their “oh yeah, I thought that” mentality. Once you have done that successfully a few times, they will let you in a lot more readily in the future, and it becomes ever easier to bring them on board – even when they may not have chosen to do it themselves.

Going back to the film, the two key emotions are Joy and Sadness, and the message of the film is that sometimes emotions have to work in tandem for a contented life. Sadness is natural when you have suffered a loss (in life or in business), so forcing a smile and acting as if nothing has happened won’t help you get over it anytime soon. Sometimes you need to be “down” to be able to feel “up” again. Some may call this authenticity – being true to your emotions.

The best leaders are authentic and genuine with their people. They are upset when something has gone wrong, and they show empathy for their people when they are upset. There is nothing worse than the hyper-cheerful leader who doesn’t let anything phase them. Life is hard sometimes – if you show your team that you feel it, they will appreciate your sympathy all the more when they are having a hard time.

Getting into people’s heads is easier when they can relate to you. If they feel that you are on their side, they will let you press their buttons.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me. Here are some other articles by me.