Leader's Guilt

Talking about strong leadership has always been a mind fuck for me. I’ve been told I am a great leader; some people have even told me they truly enjoyed working for me (except for the ones who didn’t…). But, I always struggle to accept it or to even call myself a leader —because I don't see myself as the person in charge.

 Any time there is a big win for my team, I am quick to give my people the spotlight. I don't want to take credit for something my team did as a whole. Ever.

 About a month ago, one of my start-up sales channels was running into a roadblock. The department fielding leads from our partners wasn’t a sales-minded group and, because of this, customer calls were taking upwards of an hour-and-a-half to complete. I was able to take a step back, look at the situation, and problem solve. I could see that if we were to divert these calls to our inside sales group (even at a higher creation cost) we would be able to scale much faster. Logistically, it wouldn’t be an easy flip of the switch — no matter what my salesman brain was telling me. I got with my team and leaders from other departments to lay out the idea, gauge the work needed, and set up timelines for the shift. That’s where my involvement basically came to an end, other than a couple of weekly check-ins and a "go/no-go" call the night before we flipped the switch. The project was a successful bridge to get us through the remainder of the year.

 About a week after that, while working from home, FedEx left a box at my door. Inside the box was a note from my Senior VP of Sales along with one of those "Easy" buttons from Staples. The note praised me for making the switch over look so easy, and thanked me for all of my hard work.

 While the gesture was amazing, and truly hit one of my key work motivators (for me its compensation followed by recognition) - it was also a gut punch of guilt. Because in my eyes, there were so many other people who were the reason the switch-over worked flawlessly. They are the reason my idea and plan was a success. Not me. I wanted to pull out my stationery and immediately write a letter back explaining how everyone else deserved the praise. 

 That guilty feeling has hung over me for weeks. I’ve reached out to everyone on the project and thanked them individually for their hard work and support, letting them know they were instrumental in the future success of the channel. Still guilty.

 As a leader - I *shouldn't* be the star. I’ve always looked at corporate leadership like pro-sports coaches. Sure, you know who the coaches are. Sure, when things aren't going well you blame them, and ultimately fire them. But no kid ever goes to sleep under a poster of Bill Belichick. Coaches know that the *team* are those who dig in, do the hard work, and ultimately win. In the words of the great Bo Schembechler, "No coach is more important than the team."

Maybe it’s the great leaders (and those not-so-great) I’ve been fortunate enough to work for who have instilled in me this obsession with recognizing my successes as part of the larger team’s win/work ethic. Or maybe I’ve lived in the South for too long — either way, I’m not happy with solo recognition if the success, milestone, or victory was won by my team, too. Has that been your experience? Am I off the mark? Let me know in the comments below, or to hear more on this topic and more - subscribe to Every Day Hustle Podcast.