The Leader’s Guide, June 2024

In the Leader’s Guide, I share ideas that have been bouncing inside my head, places I’ll be, my favorite reading or conversations, and identify events and opportunities to engage with me. I’m Beki Fraser and I encourage you to lead as you.

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What’s On My Mind

NO to the Singing of “Fake It till You Make It!”

I don’t hate many things anymore. Where once I had loads of anger and resentment, I now find more peace and acceptance.

BUT

I viscerally hate – and I mean deeply and abidingly – the sing-songed phrase, “Fake it till you make it.” The words alone are bad enough, but do we need to sing it too?

True confession. I used to say it. Too often.

Then, I came to sudden realizations that I share every time I can.

You Aren’t Faking It When You Are Actually Doing It.

I hear this horrible phrase when you are taking big steps outside your comfort zone. Scary moments, to be sure. Certainly, there are doubts about success. Examples might be taking the big stage; publishing podcasts, articles, etc.; or accepting a stretch role. Fear, anxiety, and doubt abound – but you are decidedly not faking anything.

You are doing the thing! You are actually preparing to walk on the stage. You have actually written or recorded a message. You are about to press publish and share that message with your audience. You are actually saying “Yes” to that next step.

Don’t dismiss the effort, the capability and the courage that brought you to this place. You are forgetting or ignoring all the things that led you here. Give that journey – and you – the credit it deserves.

Which brings me to the next…. I’ve already talked about how you actually did the thing and didn’t fake the thing. There’s one more key element that I hate about this.

You Dismiss Your Ability To “Make It” When You Say You Faked It!

What are you saying about yourself when you claim you faked it? Faking it means you made something appear to happen or that you falsified something. Since we have already established that you do the thing, it’s not only the journey that deserves credit. You do too.

Everyone around you saw you do that thing you did. They saw the success of it. When you tell yourself and others that you faked it – it’s essentially claiming you lied or claimed something that isn’t yours.

The truth? The lie is the one you tell yourself. You faked nothing; you accomplished something you weren’t sure you could do.

Plant. That. Flag. You did it so own it.

The phrase indicates that you lied to someone to accomplish something. Surely, that’s not something to share widely and sing about?

Please – for the love of all that is good – delete this phrase from your mind. You deserve so much more applause and should not squander it.

What Is Happening?

My speaking and training engagements are getting started for my fall schedule. I’m pulling out the stops for team building, organizational design facilitation, and always talking leadership development. My deep love for 1:1 coaching is sprinkled with speaking engagements and getting my point of view out to the universe while learning more about yours.

In the business, there are big things afoot! While my focus is not changing from serving introverted skeptics, I am ‘redecorating’ my space. In addition to the podcast (Short Story Long!) dropping this autumn, I’ll be updating many things about my digital presence. It’s all in development and design right now so keep posted so you know when I go live.

And, I’ve been reading…

It may not sound like a leadership book, but I recently read Surviving to Drive: A Year Inside Formula 1. The author, Guenther Steiner, published his diary from the 2022 race season when he was Principal for Haas Racing. If you know of Guenther, it is truly written in his voice so tender eyes may not wish to read it… He uses colorful language.

Guenther talks about the complexities of leading a small team in that environment – the drivers, the engineers, the sponsors, the owner. So many stakeholders and the risk of being too far in the weeds or too far out. It was a fun and interesting read.

Have you read my book: C.O.A.C.H. Y.O.U. The Introverted Skeptic’s Guide to Leadership?

Are you an introverted skeptic – or do you work with someone who may be? My book offers perspectives and insights about the superpowers and the challenges many face as leaders. Pick up your copy and discover strategies to integrate who you are with how you lead. It’s now available at Amazon (Kindle Unlimited if you are a subscriber!), B&N and other online places you may buy your books.

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Let’s Connect!

Please contact me if you would want me to speak to your organization, group, or association about coaching, key concepts from my book, and/or an Ask Me Anything format in a virtual or in-person environment.

Also, I’m always eager to hear what is happening with you. Drop a line, give a call, or schedule some time to chat. I love hearing your updates and celebrating your achievements. Do not hesitate to catch me up on all the fabulous things you have been doing!