Leaders are Followers too

Not everyone is born or grows into being a leader, but everyone on this earth is a follower. Even kings and queens are followers in some way or another.

Many leadership theories address the difference between trait theories and behavioral theories, whether you are born into leadership or whether leadership is a learnt behavior. Some make the mistake of confusing bossiness with leadership. There is no guarantee that that precocious 8 year old who is a borderline bully will grow into being a leader. Indeed if s/he has never learnt empathy, compromise/negotiation or how to get along with others (relationship management) then their future as a leader may be limited.

One thing we know from the abundance of leadership theories that have emerged is that to be a leader, you have to have followers. For those who aspire to leadership but don’t achieve it, it invariably means that they don’t have any followers. Aspiring leaders are likely cite excuses as to why they don’t have any followers, and there may be valid reasons in some circumstances, but to put it crudely, ‘only the lame, blame’. A number of leadership theories pick up the importance of understanding the leader / follower dyad: that partnership that allows greater achievement through synergy. Indeed a good leader should be keen to ensure their successor is going to achieve more than them for the sake of progression. We see that concept of sacrifice for the sake of advancement or the greater good in books like Simon Sinek’s Leaders eat last, or in more artistic literary pieces like Les Miserables or even The Holdovers.

Being a follower means not always getting your own way, but as I mentioned, nobody gets their own way all the time. A good leader know this. A good leader has also learnt how to advance their ideas while bringing others along with them. To bring others along means taking the time to hear and understand where they are at.

This is where the benefits of learning how to be a good follower comes in. A good follower knows how to observe and to listen. They know how to read the room and to exercise good Emotional Intelligence (EQ). These are great skills to have as a leader, but they are not skills that are learned overnight. So why not lean into developing these skills by learning to be a good follower first.

I recently heard of a Captain of a ship commenting on how he started off as a deckhand and cleaning toilets. His interviewer (who lacked maturity and had slightly narcissistic tendencies) commented that she couldn’t imagine a captain cleaning toilets. She had yet to learn that his years of experience, learning and observing, and his ability to follow orders were what set him apart to ultimately be a good Captain. The interviewer had not yet learnt that good leadership can be learnt, but that learning takes time and experience.

Indeed I once had the privilege of volunteering as a toilet cleaner (whilst being on the organizing committee) of an annual event over a few years and quite frankly, that opportunity to learn and observe proved valuable in providing greater understanding of many scenarios. There were too many lessons to share in this one article, but suffice to say that time and experience frequently pays dividends, especially if you lean into it.

Following is not always easy. It can be hard seeing decisions made that you may disagree with. But once again, lean into this learning experience to learn how to speak into a situation. Remember as a leader you are likely to have followers who won’t agree with all of your decisions, so it is important to know how to bring them along.

A BBC radio play called Cabin Pressure is something that we as a family have frequently listened to. It is about an airline with the main characters being pilots. Cockpit relationship management is regarded as a major factor in aircraft investigations with the power balance being a further consideration. A common theme throughout the radio show is how the pilot and copilot interact with each other, especially when dealing with suggestions and criticisms. A line from the show which has been integrated into our family communication is “Hey chief, I may be wrong, but ……..). This shorthand code works in our family because we know the context and know that we are saying, “I respect your positioning, knowledge and expertise in this situation, but wondered if there is something else that should be considered”. My article Giving and Taking Constructive Criticism deals further with this, but the bottom line is, being a follower provides you with the opportunity to hone these skills.

Those who have an archaic (wrong) view that leaders never make mistakes, don’t see the value of criticism. Indeed those who cannot take criticism or admit to mistakes are unlikely to grow or develop their leadership skills.

Learning to be a good follower is a helpful precursor to learning to be a good leader. A good leader has not only learnt how to follow, but continues to hone those listening and observation skills in their leadership.