?? Leaders or Conflicts Ninjas?
Nicolas Baudry ??
?? Je garantis que votre prochain événement d'équipe sera 100% fun et facile à organiser ! [btw, je suis accro de fun, d'entreprenariat & NoCode, FrenchTecker et DJ]
Progress is 100% built from the conflict materials. I've always seen conflicts emerge when the two sides:
1. Really care about the question at hand (which is good because it means commitment).
2. Have a strong desire to state their point of view and have it recognized (which is good because it fosters communication).
3. Are frustrated because they feel misjudged (which is good because it means both 'confligerents' feel a genuine need to solve the issue).
Since Conflict Management addresses the deepest emotional concerns among teams, it may be the number one skill for Leaders.
I've been fighting several hard conflicts with business partners—the 'this-is-my-cat-couple-breaking' kind you might imagine.
Each time, deep psychological tensions arose from our inability to ponder the other's perspective, and, each time, the final resolution came through this path:
1. Conscious realization, on both sides, that a compromise is inevitable (processing the cognitive consequences involved being, in itself, one of the hardest skills to master).
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2. Agreement on communication medium (meetings, conversations, messages—where the salutary role of intermediaries can be crucial).
3. Each party's acceptance of their share of the frustration (if I want to obtain 'that,' I need to concede 'this').
4. The conciliation event (a well-identified moment in time when the concessions are acted upon).
Conflicts cement determination. Mine built an ability to identify and respect my own needs and desires. I can't truly be fair to others unless I'm being fair to my own interests.
Conflict navigation thus educated my threat detector, the best tool to craft realistic engagements by defusing conflicting endeavors.
By the way, conflicts are not meant to be nice; they're entirely the "Hard Things" Ben Horowitz (of Andreessen Horowitz ) writes about.
Even if business acts are the new historical battles, they're better fought with words than swords, aren't they? So, if not martial, there must be an Art of Conflict—how can we make it as human and respectful as possible?