A Leader's Attention!

We all can be leaders… if we choose to be. A leader of your own life, in a professional position of leadership, as the custodian, or most importantly in how you choose to show up in your life as a Person, a Professional, Partner, and Parent! Choosing to act as a leader is not for the faint-of-heart; as it will come with its laundry list of responsibilities that can easily drain you and steal your attention from the things that will make your success worth having… I call them “Attention Drainers”!

Perhaps, it’s that project at work with the deadline you must make in order prove your worth, move up in the company, get that bonus, or keep you in good standing… which will be one of thousands of deadlines that will be expected of you! I’ve had several companies push back meetings with me on beginning internal ways to enhance leadership and work/life harmony for their employees and team due to being project busy, deadlines, and not the right time. I certainly believe timing is important… however, is there ever a time when a project has stopped and there was nothing to do? In my experience, there are always multiple projects in the works, one waiting, and “Busy” is always ready to jump on our backs!

As a leader, be sure to meet your deadlines and dominate those projects; being mindful not to let your task become an “Attention Drainer”; leading you to ignore the needs and wants of your staff, your team, and your loved ones! We can only put people on hold for so long until they Burn-Out or Bore-Out… and are no longer the same or there at all when you are ready to return to them.

Perhaps your “Attention Drainer” is that awesome new life milestone… a new home, a baby, a wedding, etc.! If this is happening in your life right now… a BIG Congrats to you! However, it’s always amazed me how such great milestones can also become “Attention Drainers”. We become so consumed with planning the wedding, decorating our new home, or caring for the kids… we completely neglect our husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend… our family and friends… only to look up one day and have achieved our singular definition of success, but not the relationships to go with it! A leader knows that success with no one to share it with is the saddest feeling in the world. So, what to do?

This is where I usually give you my two, three, or four-step plan on how to evolve leadership and work/life harmony. Today is different and a bit simpler… however, without your want-to, application, and consistency it won’t work. Simply, the answer is to stay curious! In my last book, “7 Ways to Love” I shared curiosity didn’t kill the cat… it saved the relationship. The same is true with our leadership! Stay curious about your employees at work and your loved ones outside of work.

When I had staff, I often asked what I call “The Get Great Question” and it sounded like this… “I love doing what we get to do and I’m happy to have you on the team; What do you want to get out of the experience working here? What’s do you like and what needs to be tweaked?”. In my personal life, I ask a similar question to my wife from time to time… “I love you and I love us… I want to be a great husband to you; is there anything you need from me?”.

This simple effort of curiosity allows you to stay connected with your people, allows you to know what’s working… not just what you think is working, and allows you to digest what is an issue of concern. I often share this concept with leaders during my Seminars and Leadership Programs and stress three important points that are monumentally necessary for your curiosity to work:

1.    Your people must TRUST that you and other leaders can accept answers and complaints that may be hard to hear. Have you worked consistently to develop a culture of positivity and trust? Scared employees, scared significant others, and scared kids don’t want to share thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs they will be punished for later!

2.    Your curiosity may not automatically get you the “real answer”. Remember… you’ve been pondering the question, practicing the question in your head, and finally hit them with it. They have not been thinking of it and may not be ready to answer when you decide to ask. Think about it… an employee decides to use “The Get Great Question”, stops their boss, and says “Hi boss, I want to be great here… can you help me? What do I have to do to be better?”. This is a fair and great question… but perhaps the boss was on their way to the bathroom, to a meeting, has a million things on their mind swirling like a tornado, or may not trust the employee can handle hard-to-hear feedback… or the boss simply doesn't like confrontation. The boss may deflect; giving a half-hearted answer or the dreaded… “You're doing great; just keep it up!”. As a leader, accept the fact you’ve caught a person off guard but do not accept a weak answer. Allow them time to gather their thoughts and articulate a leader’s response. It may sound like this, “Thank you for saying I’m doing good, but I really do want to be the best and know how I can improve. Can we set up a time to talk? When would be best for you? This is how we help our leaders to lead us. This is how we help our loved ones to teach us. Remember… don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer!

3.    As a leader, once you know… you can’t unknow… and to know and ignore is the very opposite of leadership! Is what your people or relationship need from you as a leader reasonable, doable, and fair? If so… great! Do it… and do it a bit past your comfort zone! If it’s not reasonable, doable, or fair… explain why, share the bigger picture view and work brainstorm ways to better meet the needs and concerns.

A Leader’s Attention must be paid to the task at hand, but also to THE PEOPLE that make the task possible. The people at work that help make the deadline possible, the people at home supporting the long-hours and stress, and the people you’re doing all that hard work for… your kids! The “Attention Drainers” are everywhere… won’t stop and don’t plan on stopping. Get curious about your people; learn and apply what is most needed to become the leader they need!

What do your employees or employer need from you most right now?

What does your relationship need most from you right now?

What do your children need most from you right now?

Your answers to these questions will allow for true Leadership and Work/Life Harmony! Enjoy!

Enhance Leadership and Work/Life Harmony in your Company, your Employees, Teams, and in your Life with You Evolving Now’s on-site Seminars and Leadership Programs! www.youevolvingnow.com Download my App, YEN Push and allow notifications to enhance Work/Life Harmony and Personal Leadership! Enjoy your EVOLUTION!!!

written by: Andre Young