A Leader’s A.S.K.; The 3 Steps to A.S.K.ing Like a Leader; Enhancing Your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony!
Andre Young
Leadership & Work/Life Harmony Speaker, Author, Leadership Trainer, & Founder of You Evolving Now, LLC
Until I started my own business, I had trouble asking for help. Not due to my ego or fear of seeming incapable… but for the simplest reason, it was the last thing to come to mind! I’ve been blessed with “GO”; whatever I think of, I cannot get out of my mind… to the point it becomes pervasive, I act, and I proceed forward until I succeed or come darn close. Thank goodness it only applies with positive things, Lol! I remember being 9 years old and wanting a new toy (Transformers were my favorite). I gathered all my toys, organized them on the coffee table in the living room, placed price tags on each of them, then gathered my friends throughout the neighborhood to purchase them. I remember my Mom returning home from work and to her surprise, seeing a line… a well-organized line of little boys from inside to outside of the house. When she asked what I was doing, I simply shared I wanted a new toy and was selling some of my old toys to buy it. I’ll never forget she asked, “Why didn’t you just ask me?” and I said, “I don’t know.”. The truth is… it never dawned on me!
Whether my story or way of thinking sounds impressive or it’s not like you at all; everything has a Positive and a Concern. The Positive is I, you, and people with this trait are self-motivated, self-reliant, and have a great “Go”. The Concern is they may tend to “Self” a little too much and consistently move forward with limiting information. It has taken me many years to be able to slow myself down just a bit to develop my A.S.K.! So, how do you ask like a Leader; gaining powerful information and enhancing professionally and personally?
A – Assume!
Since starting my business and meeting so many amazingly successful people worldwide… some just starting off and some ten years ahead of me… they all have a few things in common; one of them is they don’t mind sharing their story and how-to’s for success when asked! I’m honored when I’m asked to be on someone’s Podcast, to be interviewed, or when someone who’s interested in advancing in their dream asks my thoughts on how to do it! Of course, there are times when you simply want to enjoy a moment and not talk business… but most of the time, it’s an honor and people will give you a quick gem when you’re willing to pick it up!
Therefore The A. of A.S.K. is to ASSUME the super-successful want to share information with you! How does this work for you professionally? There are super-successful people above you and below you at your job… they all have different skill sets… some are great with people; some with a task… the point is to ask, “Hi _____, I hope you don’t mind me asking. You are so good at _______ or you’re the best I’ve ever seen at ________. What’s your secret and how do you _______?”. Yes, it sounds simple and it really is just that simple! First, you’ve complimented them… please never underestimate the power of a compliment. Here’s a sad, but honest truth… you may have no idea how long it’s been since another person has been complimented and we have no idea what they’re currently going through! Your coworker, boss, or Direct Report Bob from down the hall may be in the midst of a nasty divorce (if you’ve experienced that, you know there are very few compliments flying around), Bob’s also in the midst of raising teenagers (if you know anything about them, that’s the most narcissistic time of their lives… no compliments for Bob), he may be overworked, underpaid, and burning-out at his job… and here you come with a praise and question about his greatness and allowing him to share something he values or takes for granted!!! I’m not saying this works 100% of the time, but what does? However, it will work more than it doesn’t; making Bob feel great, providing you with more knowledge… and it enhances connection, leadership, and work/life harmony!
I worked in Sales my last job as an employee and loved the concept of the job! As a former athlete, I loved coming in daily and earning my worth… it was the closest job to sports. I was eager to make my first sale and eventually I did… however, one day I remember scanning the floor and realized I had about six Coworkers doing the same job. So, I went up to each of them throughout the week and A.S.K.ed, how do you sell? Just like that… nothing special… “How do you sell?”. Each of them had their own answer. From that, I pick-pocketed each of their special tactics and styles… added it to my arsenal… and BOOM! Here's the two most important things I learned from deciding to ask my Coworkers:
S – Silence Your Ego!
The S. of A.S.K.ing is simple, but will require the most self-awareness and self-control! Here’s my rule of leadership… If you’re leader enough to ask; you must be leader enough to listen!
Too often people… leaders, employees, husbands, wives, kids, etc. will ask a question and when they get an answer… the truth, the person’s truth, or an answer that offends their ego… they either defend or deflect! Here are a few examples… an employee asks why they didn’t get the promotion, a leader asks why they didn’t get their raise, a significant other asks what’s wrong in the relationship or things they can do to make it better, a parent ask their child for their honest opinion or how they can be a better parent… I could go on, but you get the point! They get an answer and World War III breaks out with arguing or the proverbial cold shoulder… that’s not leadership!
领英推荐
As a leader, when you ask and they respond… it’s not always necessary and sometimes quite harmful to respond right away! We want to respond with honor, thought, and grace; not our emotion of the minute… defending why they’re wrong, why you’re right, that you’ve done everything they mentioned, and escalating it to a professional or personal war. Or, deflecting everything they shared and offended they had anything to say at all; completely dismissing them and black-balling them professionally or personally! This may sound familiar and it’s truly a shame as Defending and Deflecting only teaches others not to say anything that would spark our evolution… Be Mindful!
K – Know Your Next Step!
I end every one of my Speaking Engagements or Trainings with Homework… rarely giving them MY own assignment; rather I ask for one of their own. “You just listened and engaged with me for an hour (maybe two or three); it would be a shame to leave here and do nothing about it. Life, your professional fires, and your emails are waiting to gut-punch you as soon as you leave this room or click off your computer… So, what was your Biggest Takeaway today and what homework are you going to give yourself to focus on and start NOW?”. Having people say this aloud is more real and useful to them than me telling them what was so great about what I taught and what they should leave and do!
Their answers also allow me to know what content really stands out and gives Leaders & Employees individually one or two clear things to focus on instead of taking their notes and jamming them in a drawer… never to be seen again, Lol!
Therefore, once you A.S.K. and receive an answer… What are the one or two gems you picked up and how will you apply them starting NOW? Remember, this is how winning and success are done! You now know who to A.S.K., how to A.S.K., and what to do after you A.S.K.! Enjoy your journey and your evolution!!!
“If you’re leader enough to ask; you must be leader enough to listen… Be Mindful!”?– Andre Young
Written by: Andre Young
Let’s take away some of your organizational pain by enhancing Leadership & Work/Life Harmony skills for your leaders, employees, and teams... making it easier for your leaders to lead and easier for your employees to follow! Select or customize with Andre Young a high-energy, interactive, and culture-impacting Training or Speaking Engagement that provides common sense and easy-to-implement concepts today!
Click www.youevolvingnow.com to get started!