Leaders aren’t fearless...

They’re just willing to lead in the face of fear...

I know—we’re leaders. Discussing time off is taboo. Other people get to relax; we get to plan for 2022’s kick-off. But how can we lead if we can’t take care of our own mental health??

Many of us have just worked through the stress for years, or even decades—we know we can lead even when we feel like the pressure is crushing us.?

This year has been a testament to that for many of us. While the world—and the markets—are constantly shifting and our employees are handing in their resignation letters at an alarming rate, outwardly, we’ve held it all down.?

In our minds and bodies? Well, that’s another story. But as long as our employees haven’t seen us giving in to the stress, we’re good.?

You’ve been doing your best to support your employees in their mental health. But let me ask you this:?

What have you done to support your mental health?

For many of our mentors, good mental health wasn’t something they talked about or even acknowledged as important for leaders to be aware of.?

In his interview on Forbes, Dr. Michael Groat, a specialist in treating executives for mental illness, notes that while executives often have “access to more life opportunities, experiences, and services than many who work for them,” we just don’t take the time to use them.

It’s partly a scheduling issue. How do I find time for myself when I’m in meetings? All. Damn. Day.

It’s also partly stubbornness on our part. We’re supposed to be fearless, not vulnerable; otherwise, why would people follow us? Dr. Groat acknowledges that in our current business culture, “executives are considered experts, not individuals in need of help.” So it can be difficult for us to admit that we need a mental health day—or week.

Not to sound too dire, but Dr. Groat warns that “many executives reach a state of crisis before anyone recognizes and addresses their problems.” We need daily practices that help us cope with stress in healthy ways so we don’t find ourselves forced to by circumstance.

The pandemic and ensuing mental health crisis our employees are facing have meant many new workplace policies this year—things like safe spaces, mental health days, and more extended benefits. We need to take advantage of those, too.

It’s probably too late to join the year-end Benefits Blow-out. But it’s been an exceptionally hard year, and finding time to do the things that make us feel happy and at peace is more important than ever.?

At the start of 2021, I was recovering from 2020. To help me stay balanced this year, I committed to 30 minutes of daily outdoor activity. As of December 2021, I’m proud to say that I’ve run, hiked, and biked almost every day this year through wind, snow, rain, heat, smoke, and even injury (>1000km Running and 500km Biking) . That time spent outside moving my body helps me unwind after many hours of Zoom meetings.

Over the holidays, you’ll find me in the local mountains skiing, something that helps me stay present and grateful for this beautiful world. Plus, it really helps balance out all the extra cookies I’ll be eating (I moonlight as Santa every December 24th).

Besides my physical activities, I’ve incorporated some intentional daily practices that have helped boost my leadership.?

For both my work and personal lives, the most effective practice has been to end my workdays with a breathing exercise to become aware of any stress or tension I’m carrying and let it go. That way, I can join my family as my full self instead of leaving my attention in my office.

These simple things have been so effective for me in keeping myself grounded in reality, and out of that catastrophic survival brain it seems like so much of the world is operating in. But there’s always room for more, so here’s something I came across that’s less physically demanding and requires no mountains.

Author and Inc. contributor Jeff Steen shared a daily practice that he recommends for business leaders, and I can already see how beneficial this could be for me, personally.

He suggests taking 15 minutes before you start work to write down that checklist of worries you woke up with swirling in your mind.?

Steen shares two questions that will help you get your thoughts down:

• What am I worried about happening (or not happening) today?

“Today” is the keyword here—limit your scope to what’s timely and needs addressing over the course of your workday. It helps you get clear about what’s an immediate concern and what isn’t, and it gives you an outlet for your thoughts.

• What can I do about each thing that would alleviate my stress/anxiety/worry?

This question helps you narrow down that list even further by identifying the things you can control and take action on and the things you can’t. There’s no point in worrying about things you can’t actually control with your actions, so Steen says to just mark those with N/A and focus on the things you can have an impact on.

These are just some starting points for your tailored-to-you self-care practices, and I hope they help you. Please join the thread and share with me and others

AND

Above all, give yourself permission to take some me-time over the next couple of weeks. You deserve it, and the people in your life—and your workplace—will also benefit.

All the best to you and yours this holiday season!