Be A Leader That Is The Example To Follow
My wife was talking with one of her friends the other day and apparently that friend jokingly said, “nothing gets Dave excited or mad...he must be smoking dope to be that mellow”. As my wife told me that story I chuckled if that’s what the “high” is like, I guess I wouldn’t need it in the first place.
Now I am not always mellow on the inside and I do sometimes get excited and frustrated at times about the day-to-day things that pop-up, but I always try to look at the bigger picture before I react. After taking some time to reflect on issues that pop-up or problems that need solved I realize that most of the time things aren’t worth getting all irrational and upset over. No need to fly off the handle, point fingers if someone made an honest mistake, or beat myself up too much for an error I may have made. Secondly, having been in various leadership roles, and also being a parent, I really try to always set the example. Someone is always watching and taking notes. If I would get emotionally distraught, start verbalizing my emotions before I understood them, or habitually exhibited frustration and the loss of control people may start to get the wrong idea that temper tantrums or this loss of control, or worse, is an acceptable way to act. It is not an acceptable way to act (unless, of course, the house is on fire).
When I do get to a point where I am frustrated, disappointed, or questioning others actions I usually ask the following;
- How would I want someone to act towards me in the same situation?
- Would I want to be someone’s target that has lost complete self-control?
- What would “Joe” (or someone else that is level-headed and that I admire) do to handle the situation?
- Will I think differently about this situation later?
Part of being a leader or being a person that people may be looking to for cues requires a sense of self, humility, and knowing that how you react might be mirrored by someone else...a co-worker or a child...which can help to either build great character or someone that thinks that bad behavior is acceptable. A lack of leadership can quickly diminish morale, can alienate people, and decrease trust. They way you decide to “lead” is up to you, but true leadership never falters...it is always steady.
We have all been witness to bad emotional behavior that we have probably made excuses for or justified for one reason or another. Don’t put people is a position to make excuses for you. Don’t make excuses for yourself.
If you feel that you just might spout off, lose control, or make a not-so-great situation worse, try this...
- Ask yourself if it is really that important to become unhinged.
- Ask yourself if you would want someone acting like this if the table was turned.
- Walk away and put some perspective into whatever it is that you are about to lose it over.
- Realize that most of the time things or people are not going to meet your perfect ideals or overly high expectations. People are people and things are, well, things.
- Force yourself to keep your cool and give in to the urge to always be right or the need to always be in-control, or the need to show your authority, or to use your position of power.
There is really no excuse to lose control. There is really no excuse to let your emotions get the better of you. There is no excuse to set a bad example.
There are no excuses in great leadership.
Be the embodiment of great leadership.
#emotionalintelligence #leadership #morale #management