Is Leader Authenticity Over-rated?

Be your true self when you lead. Oh-no—I’m over my head! Imposter syndrome. Fake it ‘til you make it! Wait, that’s dishonest. So, how “real” should you be as a leader?

Effective leaders balance authenticity with adaptability, embodying who they are while also being the leader their team needs. I call this the ability to be and see. That is, the ability to both be yourself and see yourself as others see you—and align both versions of you.

Imagine a scenario where your team is stuck. Your natural style is collaborative and inclusive. This time, however, you recognize that more assertive direction is necessary to move forward. Or, you are an introvert, and your followers long for engagement and support after an adverse event.

Meeting the moment requires navigating duality: being true to who you are while stepping into the leader role the situation demands. Is this manipulative? I prefer to think of it as behavioral negotiation, because it is not about lying or being false. It is a matter of adjusting your manner and behaviors to be resonant with and relevant to your followers.

When you master this skill, you can intentionally adapt your presence in ways that influence the people you hope will follow you. Dr. Mindy Hall, author of Leading with Intention, told me, “Being present enough that you can flex your behavior to get the result you want is one of the highest forms of self-awareness.”

Behavioral negotiation is not as radical a notion as you might think. A wedding and funeral might take you to the same location with the same group of people, though you will likely carry yourself differently at each event. Your behavior with your old college friends will vary from how you are with your new boss. Most of us can range from somber to jovial and effusive to reserved. These are all facets of who we are. The through line is the real “you.”

How are three ways can you improve your ability to both be and see:

• Invest in a reflective practice to better understand who you are. Journaling is great for this. So is writing a Personal Manifesto where you state your core beliefs and values. The manifesto can be a touchstone for the “you” you want to come through every time,
• Solicit feedback from a range of people in a variety of circumstances to get a better sense of how you are coming across. If you can, rehearse difficult or unfamiliar interactions. Working in front of a mirror and videotaping yourself are two tricks that we public speakers use to become more aware of body language and facial expressions.
• Observe as closely as you can people you think are good at the areas where you’d like to improve. Note what you think works—and reflect how something similar might work for you. Again, don’t mimic so much as try to learn from them. For example, I am right in the middle of the introvert/extravert continuum. After watching a colleague who is great at working a room, I trained myself to fire up my extrovert energy by engaging with someone within 60 seconds of entering a crowded room. By framing it as a challenge, I destress the moments that will set the tone for the rest of the event for me.

When you are leading, people watch your every move. That means there is a bit of performance to leading well. In our time of performative pretention in leading, authenticity is more important than ever. And sincerely trying your best to be yourself as the leader followers need may be the most authentic practice of all.

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