To lead or leave? That is the question

Looking back on my life journey, I have found myself in leadership roles more often than I expected. Sometimes, I led teams from scratch, while other times, I managed larger groups. But in all these experiences, I ended up leaving, either because I chose to or because I had to. Each time, saying goodbye brought mixed feelings—relief, thinking back, and a bit of worry about what is next.

When you leave, leave with dignity and your pride in tact. You will be respected. Only cowards abandon ship when the water is rising.

In 2023, I began my journey in the non-profit sector, seeking to step away from leadership roles. At 32 years old, I considered myself relatively young. I relied on my adaptability and willingness to learn, acknowledging the gaps in my knowledge. Following the closure of my business during the pandemic and undergoing a period of personal growth, I encountered disappointing CEOs and toxic work environments. This led me to return to school, opting to take things slowly with my entrepreneurial plans in the post-pandemic world.

I yearned to find a leader and workplace culture that resonated with my values, quenching my thirst for learning environments I never had in the Malaysian school system. I made a vow to myself: "I no longer want to learn what not to do."

I have been on this journey for 8 months now, and it has already made me think a lot about my own leadership path.

Leadership is like steering a ship — knowing when to stay at the helm and when to step aside can be a tough call. Leaders face this dilemma all the time, whether they are running a business, a team, or a community.

Some leaders, like the late Queen Elizabeth II, stick with their responsibilities through thick and thin. Despite facing numerous challenges throughout her 70-year reign, she remained steadfast and resilient. From dealing with tabloid stories and family scandals to navigating political turmoil like Brexit, the queen showed remarkable grace and humility. As a Netflix's 'The Crown' super-fan, her dedication inspires me.

But there are times when leaders decide it's time to say goodbye. It's not an easy choice. They might feel relieved, sad, or unsure. But sometimes, leaving is the right thing to do. It can make room for new ideas and bring fresh energy to the group.

Take, for example, Nelson Mandela, who voluntarily stepped down as President of South Africa in 1999 after serving one term in office. His decision to step aside was widely praised as a demonstration of his commitment to democracy and his belief in the importance of peaceful transitions of power. Mandela chose to prioritise the stability and democratic process of South Africa over personal power, setting a powerful example for leaders around the world.

Some leaders leave when things get really tough. They know staying will not help and might even make things worse. Others leave when they have done what they set out to do. They feel like they have accomplished their mission and it is time for someone else to take over.

When Prime Minister David Cameron resigned after the Brexit vote, it was a surprise for many. But it wasn't an abrupt exit. He left because the UK voted to leave the European Union, which was not what he wanted. Even though the timing was unexpected, Cameron's resignation allowed for a smooth transition of power. This underscores the importance of thinking carefully before leaving a difficult situation.

Leaving without a plan or without considering the consequences can create opportunities for bad leaders to swoop in. These individuals may exploit the vacuum of leadership, seizing control for their own agenda rather than the group's welfare. Leaders who depart without a plan may do so out of ego, believing they are indispensable or above needing a succession strategy. However, their lack of foresight can lead to chaos and instability.

Theresa May's leadership of the United Kingdom is a poignant example of this phenomenon. Her resignation amidst the Brexit crisis left behind a chaotic political legacy, with successors struggling to untangle the mess.

This underscores why it is important for leaders to recognise that their actions have repercussions and to prioritise the well-being of the group over their own ego. By carefully planning their departure and ensuring a smooth transition, they can safeguard against the risk of those under their stewardship more-so than the organisation--falling into the hands of bad leadership.

As I reflect on my journey while writing this piece, I am struck by how much I've grown. I can't help but think back to my early 20s and the ways I could have handled things better. Though I can laugh about it now, it is a sobering reminder of the importance of thoughtful decision-making. When it comes to leaving a position of leadership, impulsivity simply won't cut it. It requires careful consideration and self-awareness.

From my perspective, leaders must contemplate how their departure will impact those they lead and the environment they leave behind. It is a responsibility that demands maturity and foresight.

While it may seem tempting to prioritise personal gain, in the long run, true respect and dignity stem from leaving with integrity intact. Sentiments may appear irrelevant, but they form the cornerstone of genuine leadership. When the time comes to depart, maintaining dignity and pride ensures lasting respect. After all, in the words of my father through our WhatsApp conversations, 'When you leave, leave with dignity and your pride in tact. You will be respected. Only cowards abandon ship when the water is rising.' -- This is not a jab to any of you but in Malay we say, 'siapa makan cili rasa pedas.'

So, as leaders (that includes emerging leaders), we need to remember that deciding to stay or leave is not about being weak or giving up. It is about doing what is best not just for yourself but for everyone under your leadership.

And whether we stay or go, let's do it with kindness, humility, and care for others.

Ranessa Theyakaraja

Partnerships, non-profit sector | [email protected]

Founder, Women's Circle of Malaysia | [email protected]