Lead with kindness

As the year winds down, may you embrace the spirit of the holiday season and enjoy the time with the people that mean the most to you.? Winston Churchill said, “Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection.”? Pause to reflect on your leadership journey and the effect you had on those around you.?

?In discussing leadership, Niccolo Machiavelli famously discussed “whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved?? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them into one person, it is much safer to be feared than loved.”1?? What Machiavelli is saying may be true at times in the short run, but leadership is a marathon and not a sprint.? Although it may be safer to be feared, the most effective leaders are?both?- driven and kind.?

?I am not convinced ‘feared’ is the right word, but a leader obviously needs to speak with clarity and must hold people accountable - for their performance and the manner in which they get things done.? Treating people kindly and with respect will encourage a greater motivation to engage, challenge and take risks – all necessary ingredients for continuous improvement.? A leader that is out of balance in either direction will cause issues.? People will shut down and look to avoid negative reactions when a leader is consistently mean-spirited or doesn’t treat people respectfully.? On the other hand, if a leader is primarily focused on never hurting anyone’s feelings, it will take away attention from business issues and may also cause ill-will with the other team members who see performance issues being ignored.

?Research has shown that without a foundation of trust people will conform outwardly but not in a sincere long-lasting way2.? Being kind is a component that helps build trust. With that in mind, here are a few ways leaders can demonstrate kindness:

·???????? Assume good intentions rather than reading negatively into what others are doing.

·???????? Treat everyone with respect, not just those who can help you.

·???????? Listen attentively to what others are saying rather than trying to defend your position.

·???????? Build people up and help them learn from their mistakes rather than looking to criticize and place blame.

·???????? Be honest with people rather than disparaging them behind their backs.

·???????? Appreciate the time and effort people put forth even if the results weren’t exactly what you expected.

·???????? Encourage, advise and support rather than pressure, dictate and hover

?Being a kind leader doesn’t mean that you let people walk over you, it simply means that you appreciate others, treat them with respect, and don’t let your title go to your head.? People are more willing to follow and engage when there is trust in a leader and a connection with him or her.2?? Leaders affect lives; respectful leadership will not only produce better results, it is the right thing to do.

?1Machiavelli, Niccolò.?The Prince. Translated by George Bull, Penguin Classics, 2003, Chapter XVII.

2Cuddy Amy J.C., John Neffenger and Matthew Kohut. “Connect, Then Lead.”?Harvard Business Review, 2 Nov. 2014, hbr.org/2013/07/connect-then-lead.

?“There is no such thing as a small act of kindness.? Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”? –?Scott Adams

"Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind.”? - Kris Kringle from Miracle on 34th Street

?Leadership matters!

Ken

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