To Lead Courageously, Master Your Fear

It was Saturday two weeks ago and I was afraid.

I had just finished my last article "The secret reason why I left Lufthansa that I never shared before ".?

I knew there was a lot of truth in it. I knew it could be helpful. But: by taking a very bold position that I knew not everyone would agree on, I was making myself vulnerable.?

Fears started creeping up. What if no one from Lufthansa would want to work with me anymore? What if my piece was interpreted as going against a great company instead of a small group of people? What if I got a shitstorm? …

The thoughts kept running.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.” —Mark Twain

Friends and family members told me better not to publish it because it was "too risky".?

But deep inside, I knew I should take my stance. If a topic is in the room, putting your head into the sand and pretending it was not there is not leadership. I knew that some people would disagree with my stance.

However, in disagreement, we find better solutions. In different opinions, we develop. In conversation, we can lead.

So I Decided to Press the Publish Button.

Oh shit! Here it comes!

Immediately, I felt the urge to take the article down. Did I do a mistake? Would all my fears come true?

Then the realization set it: the article had just hit the inbox of a couple of hundred people. I could not take it down, even if I wanted.?

"Now, you're screwed." I said to myself.?

Looking back now, comparing my fears with reality:?most fears remained a concern. Like usually, 99% of our fears and concerns don't become reality. However, when we push to our personal next level, when we go out of our comfort zone, these fears and concerns can seem very real.

Think about something difficult you are trying to achieve: what are your main concerns? How likely is it they will really materialize?

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." –Sir Winston Churchill

What Really Happened

The article ended up being the most popular piece that I had ever published. People started contacting me. My former boss from ten years ago wrote me a long message thanking me for taking a stance. An Aircraft engineer whom I have never met in my entire life shared with me in 4 long paragraphs how he feels undervalued at work. He shared how everyone in his department is doing an amazing job with huge commercial and safety implications under enormous time pressure yet gets little recognition. A former co-worker told me that I had touched her heart.

Good things happen when we show courage. This is why courage is one of the core qualities of the Alpinist Mindset.

This is what I've learned?

Leadership means showing your stance on difficult topics. If you have an opinion that everyone agrees with, it's not leadership. It's not change, it's not development.

Change hurts.

Show why you think differently and believe your company needs to change. Even though your ego will make you feel very vulnerable and you will not know what others think. Maybe taking your stance in 1:1s first, and gathering support before going public is a good idea. In Alpinism, you'd also first phone a few friends to gather the team before you start climbing the peak.?

Leadership means the courage to be vulnerable and show emotions. In her book "Daring to lead" Brené Brown talks about bold leaders should embrace vulnerability and show emotions. We need to overcome the myths that vulnerability is weakness.

In reality, the opposite is true. Making yourself vulnerable shows your true strength.

Each act of courage requires vulnerability.

–Brené Brown

Standing up in a leadership meeting to disagree with the narrative: you're vulnerable. Leading a difficult performance appraisal talk with a team member: you're vulnerable. Talking to your spouse about things that need to change: you're vulnerable.

Vulnerability is at the base of progress. In real life, it's not the invincible hero who wins battle after battle. In real life, it's courageous people like you and me that make the difference.

As Sir Winston Churchill points out in the quote above, courage is also about sitting down and listening. True Leadership means building true connection instead of treating them as Human Resources.

Quiet quitting is a huge issue today because leaders are not connected to their people. They don't have a clue about what's going on. So large companies spend 100k+ every year to do employee surveys to find out that their people are unhappy. If their leaders really connected with their people they wouldn't need a survey to tell them what they already know once it's too late.?

I have had many bosses in my life, even up to 4 at the same time (Thanks, Matrix Organization!). The leaders that motivated me the most, made me grow the most, and made me go the extra mile were the ones that tried to build an authentic connection. These were the leaders for whom I was willing to stay late and deliver. I did it for them and their mission and nothing else. How did they do it? When they asked about my personal life, it was out of true curiosity, not courtesy. They shared their own life, making themselves vulnerable as well. They went the extra mile when I was not doing well. They built a true connection.?

Luckily, leadership is not innate talent.

Leadership is learned and trained.

Use the Chance to Show Courage and Lead Today

Here are three tiny actions you can do to show courage, build connection, and lead today.

• Have that difficult discussion, you were meaning to have.
• Take 5 extra minutes to really see how someone in your team is really doing. Sit down and listen.
• Organize a leadership offsite in a setting that creates psychological safety so that everyone can be vulnerable and courageous. (Ideally, talk to someone who knows how this is accomplished). ?

What will be your mini step today so that you can climb your peak tomorrow?

Oliver

PS: Becoming vulnerable can be hard, really hard. Imagine developing the confidence to lead courageously. Imagine being surrounded by a team that you feel truly connected to. How would you feel with a team with whom you share a joint mission that is bigger than each one of you? A team that you trust, even if things ahead get difficult. The good news is: a single day can change everything. If you're ready to build courageous leadership for yourself or your team, let us have one helpful conversation.?Just send me a personal message.

PPS: Das Ende des Jahres heisst für viele: ein letzter Sprint ist notwendig, allerdings ist der Tank fast leer. Falls Du 2022 auf den letzten Metern stark beenden m?chtest, melde Dich jetzt für meinen Live Workshop an: "Finish 2022 Strong: Stark auf den letzten Metern – Wie Führungskr?fte und Führungsteams 2022 mit dem Alpinist Mindset kraftvoll abschlie?en" → https://www.alpine-institute.ch/finish2022strong.