The Honest L&D Thanksgiving

Linda: "Hey everyone!! I'm so glad you could all make it. David - did you complete all the pre-work?"

David: "Sure did. I've done a complete SWOT analysis of your green bean casserole, and...well...I found some areas of opportunity."

Ray: "That's his polite way of saying it sucks."

Linda: "Ray, we're going to have to work on your emotional intelligence. Now, Monique, I understand you conducted a needs analysis of tonight's dinner?"

Monique: "I did. And I found that year over year, satisfaction with your dry, flavorless, and monstrously bad turkey has necessitated a half-day training on basic thawing, basting and carving techniques. I've hired a consultant to handle this need next year."

Linda: "Great! Who's the consultant?"

Monique: "Someone I got drunk with at the Transperfect party in Denver. Said his company was called, 'Beast Mode Training' or something."

Linda: "Wonderful! Hector - I'm thrilled to see you here this year. How do you like the pumpkin pie? I made it just for you."

Hector: "Well, it's...<slowly hiding napkin filled with half-eaten pumpkin pie under the table>...it's the best I've ever had, Linda."

Bob: "Linda's is the best? I thought the pie I made last year was the best?"

Monique: "Wait - you said mine from the year before was the best?"

Linda: "Ok, ok. Let's unpack this."

<Linda gets up, pulls out a sharpie, sets up a flipchart next to the table>

Linda: "Now, let's put some things up here on the parking lot. Bob - you used added sugar last year. Monique, we all know you bought it from the store, so let's aim for transparency. Hector, I know you're trying to be polite while concealing your nausea. But tell me - top 3 things we can do to improve the user experience next year?"

Carol: "Can we all just eat? I don't see the point of this."

<Everyone gathers around Carol>

Hector: "Carol, I see that you're disengaged. That's perfectly fine and an area of growth we can focus on. It's clear that we need to facilitate more leadership opportunities for you. Here, you're in charge of the cranberry sauce distribution. See? Now you're a stakeholder!"

<Carol texts her mother: "You're right, I should've flown home instead.">

Linda: "OK, let's all go around the table and say what we're thankful for."

Bob: "I'm filled with an attitude of gratitude."

Hector: "I'm filled with an attitude of gratitude."

Monique: "I'm filled with an attitude of gratitude."

Linda: "Wait...no...you can't all just repeat the same line you picked up at a Kirkpatrick training."

Ray: "Forget gratitude - let's talk opportunity. As in the opportunity for you all to upgrade your LMS to my new, cutting edge platform. And the Black Friday specials start now! See me after dinner, or during dinner for a demo."

Monique: "Who invited this guy?"

Linda: "I thought he came with you?"

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Geoff Woliner, founder of Winning Wit, is a trainer, facilitator, content creator, and author of, “Get Bitter to Get Better: How to reclaim your confidence, prove your villains wrong and win the big moments in life."

He also helps organizations solve the problem of boring training with his Lights! Camera! Training! workshop.

Twitter: @WinningWit

Facebook: www.Facebook.com/WinningWit

www.GeoffWoliner.com