Layoffs and Our Thinking Patterns

In light of recent massive global layoffs by various companies, I have been troubled by some of my friends losing their jobs. It's not easy to deal with a layoff as well as with the threat of lay-off. Many people have approached me in recent times about job loss stress due to my work as a Leadership Coach. And I have seen a spectrum of responses- from denial- to hiding the news from family- to extreme agitation. The major questions being asked are – 1. How do I cope with this loss? 2. How do I look for another job? My focus today is on first one.

A lot has been written about how to cope with job loss stress and there are many good articles available online. While strategies are all available in these articles, something pushed me to look deeper into our response to adversity. Our response to adversities that we face in life is often found in our thoughts. These thoughts are our explanatory styles according to Dr. Martin Seligman. He says- “Our Explanatory Styles refer to the way in which we explain the negative events of our lives to ourselves: optimistically or pessimistically.”

??What I am telling myself about the adversity (in this case the layoffs) is important.??Our thoughts create our feelings which lead us to action. Do we find ourselves helpless and stuck or we are helpless but striving to change the situation??If we are thinking about the loss as temporary with faith in our ability to find an alternative path, we will come out successful from this speedbump. If we think that we cannot find another job and that our life is over, probably it is. Because, then the self-fulfilling prophecy also comes into play, wherein, the?belief or expectation that an individual holds about a future event manifests in reality.

Both the optimistic and pessimistic voices are learnt and become a part of our automatic response to situations. We have 2 types of minds according to the dual system theory?by the Noble Prize winner Daniel Kahneman(2011).??One which is Automatic & Fast (System 1) and the other is Slow & Controlled (System 2).??Most of our habits- eating, sleeping, drinking, and thinking are a part of System 1 thinking. All our biases are also a part of System 1 thinking. Anything that saves us the effort of thinking and analysing before taking a decision is a part of System 1 thinking. Therefore, Optimism and pessimism -our explanatory styles are also a part of System 1 thinking.?

There is enough research available online about how pessimism causes anxiety and depression.??Therefore, it makes sense for all those people who are pessimistic in their approach, to move away from their default setting of pessimism. This also means we are moving our thinking pattern from System 1 towards System 2, till the time we establish optimistic thinking as System 1.

Anyone who has looked at changing their habits knows it's not easy. Eating and exercising habits affect our outward appearance and are hence more noticeable by ourselves and others.??While working on health and fitness, we meet a number of people- doctors, nutritionists, fitness coaches etc who tell you where you are right now and how to achieve the goal of where you want to be.?

Unfortunately, our thinking patterns are only known to ourselves and it doesn’t really affect our appearance- and thus less noticeable to others. Let alone to others, most of the time it is not visible to the self as well. And even when we are aware, it's still hard to change our thoughts. This is due to ignorance about self as well as because we hardly ever seek help from outside for the same. We do go to doctors for physical ailments etc., but how many of us are willing to seek a therapist even though we know we are struggling?

With observable habits we can use nudges or pre-commitments or some of the other tools of behavioural science, how do we really change our thoughts? We are not born thinking a certain way and therefore there is no need to continue thinking the way we have been, we can unlearn and relearn new thinking patterns.?

Being a coach and also coming from a family of pessimists, I have often grappled with the question of how to change thinking patterns myself. Here is a formula that I have found useful-

1. Journaling- In the beginning, it can be recounting the incidents of the day and acknowledging our feelings about the situation.??Next, it can move to noticing the tone of the journaling- “Who am I holding responsible in the situation? What do I think about the situation? Do I feel stuck and helpless? Do I think I can change it over a period of time?”?Etc. Over a period of time, it has become easier to catch the thoughts and their tone in the moment while it’s happening.?

I think it's also very important to journal because it will make the unseen seen. Something that remains in our mind is more difficult to notice than something which is in front of our eyes- when we become observers of our thoughts. Of course, this is not applicable to long-time meditators who already are observers of self.?

2.?Challenge the thoughts- Disputing your beliefs by asking- “Is it really true?”?I also sometimes ask –?“How is this thought helpful?”?Having this enquiry can help to drop the thought for some time.

3. Practising savouring- We often tend to overlook the small joys that are there in life and focus on big events. When we think about small but good memories related to our work, achievements and relationships, we immediately tap into the feel-good factor that these memories give us.?

I have found this especially useful with clients to remind them what are their strengths because of which they were selected in their earlier jobs. This helps them to feel more in control of the situation. Savouring can also be used for a future positive event.?

4. Practising gratitude- Evidence suggests that practising gratitude changes our minds and we feel more positive emotions like joy- therefore combating depression and helplessness.?

5. Reach out-??In tough times, its ok to lean on family, friends, extended LinkedIn network, coaches or therapists. They may or may not be able to extend help or provide solutions, but reaching out can certainly change the way we feel, even if it’s temporary. And who knows what opportunities may arise as a result of the conversations?

And I see a nagging voice inside my head telling me- why are you giving so much Gyan? And I immediately kill the thought, hoping that this article will help you to get over your thinking traps- laid off or not.?

References-?

1-?Seligman, Martin. Learned Optimism. New York, NY: Pocket Books. 1998.

2- Kahneman, David. Thinking Fast and Slow. United States.?Macmillan. 2011

3- Byron, Katie. The Work-?Loving What Is : Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, with Stephen Mitchell, Harmony Books, 2002.

4-?Fred B.?Bryant,?"Savouring: A New Model of Positive Experience.”?Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers. 2007.?

I am a Leadership Coach and facilitator and the thoughts expressed in this article are a result of my personal experiences. Please comment, like and share as you find appropriate.