LAWYERS: TIME TO KICK IMPOSTER SYNDROME TO THE CURB

Over the years, I have noticed some of my brightest and most successful clients battle with Imposter Syndrome.

I have helped these individuals find, value and honor themselves and their accomplishments. These individuals became their own biggest fan. They learned how to believe in themselves and their Super Powers.

Was it easy? No, it is not easy. But the work to overcome Imposter Syndrome is really worth it, especially for lawyers.

WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME?

What is Imposter Syndrome? It is when an individual chronically and systematically doubts themselves.

• They doubt their abilities and their accomplishments.
• They always compare themselves to others in an unfavorable light.
• They never do enough.
• If these individuals make a mistake, they beat themselves.
• They never forgive themselves.
• They are very critical of themselves.

If an individual does not address this condition, they can sabotage their life and law practice. Imposter syndrome is a pattern of self-doubt that can lead to anxiety, stress, and missed opportunities.

A FUNNY THING ABOUT IMPOSTER SYNDROME

The funny thing about Imposter Syndrome is that it disproportionately affects high achievers. These individuals have a hard time accepting their accomplishments. It affects both men and women, and it can be more prevalent among people of color.

MEET ROBERT

Robert graduated at the top of his class at a very prestigious school. After that, he went on to an even more prestigious law school. Again graduated at the top of his class. Everyone was sure that there was an amazing career ahead for Robert.

Because Robert grew up and was abused, belittled, and constantly criticized by his father, his inner voice played 24/7, repeating the cruel things that his father said about him.?

"You'll NEVER amount to anything!" his father screamed whenever Robert made a mistake.

After graduating from law school, Robert went back to the farm to say goodbye to his father on his death bed.

Robert secretly hoped that his father would express regret about how he treated him, especially now that he had successfully graduated from law school at the top of his class.?

Instead, his father said to Robert, "I always hoped you wouldn't be such a weakling. Why couldn't you be more like your sister?"

During this final farewell, his father cut Robert down.?Robert felt as if he had been stabbed in his heart. He began to drink heavily each day to drown out the voice of his father.

ROBERT GETS THE HELP HE NEEDS

When I met Robert, he was in pretty bad shape. He was suffering from constant hangovers, working for a firm that he hated. Interestingly, the partner that he worked for was a bully and unkind to Robert, much like his father. He was in a bad relationship with a woman who told him that he could do nothing right.?

Robert knew he could not continue and was feeling suicidal.?

Because our self-talk occurs in our subconscious, Robert was unaware of the source of his problems.?

Most of our beliefs about ourselves are developed before we are seven years old. Robert subconsciously believed his father. There was nothing he could accomplish that drowned out that strong bitter voice. Without realizing it, Robert was telling himself that he was worthless. Robert believed he was a fraud.?

ROBERT TAKES COMMITTED ACTIONS

How one begins to overcome Imposter Syndrome is to put those inner voices on, as I say, LOUDSPEAKER.?

Robert had to tell me about all the places in his life where he felt like a fraud. Without realizing it, Robert was drawn to bully-like people. He allowed himself to be bullied. These situations reinforced his bad feelings about himself.

We had to flush out Robert's secret, hidden, and subconscious beliefs.?

Robert had to identify those painful patterns and tendencies. Robert was shocked how he had set up a life replicating his unhappy childhood.?

He also had to learn how the alcohol had become a crutch to numb the feelings of disgust he felt about himself.

We had to BUST THE MYTH. Robert lived a life based on a myth initiated by his father, a man who was unhappy, bitter, and a bully.?

Robert decided that he would learn how to override the primal beliefs. He refused to continue sabotaging his life and law practice.

Robert is not alone. Many famous people have admitted to Imposters Syndrome. Here are a few.

FAMOUS FOLKS WHO ADMIT TO FEELING LIKE IMPOSTERS

Here are a few folks who admit to having the Imposter Syndrome

Sonia Sotomayor, First Hispanic Supreme Court Justice

"I have spent my years since Princeton...not feeling completely a part of the world I inhabit. I am always looking over my shoulder, wondering if I measure up."

Lady Gaga, American singer, songwriter, and actress.?

"I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school, and I just have to pick myself up..."

Howard Schultz served as the chairman and chief executive officer (CEO) of the Starbucks Coffee Company from 1986 to 2000 and 2008 to 2017.

"Very few people ...believe today that they are now qualified to be CEO."

Tom Hanks, American actor, and filmmaker.?

"when are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?"

David Bowie, an English singer-songwriter and actor, is regarded as one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century.

"I had enormous self-image problems and very low self-esteem, which I hid behind obsessive writing and performing."

Serena Williams, an American professional tennis player and former world No. 1 in women's singles tennis. She has won 23 Grand Slam singles titles.

It was tough for me to stop being Venus (my big sister) and become the person I am.

Cheryl Sandberg, an American business executive, billionaire & philanthropist. Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook

"There are days I wake up feeling like a fraud."

Maya Angelou, Civil Rights Activist, Poet, Nobel Laureate,

"...uh oh, they're going to find out now, I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out."

Arianna Huffington, Greek-American author, syndicated columnist, businesswoman. Co-founder of The Huffington Post, CEO of Thrive Global

"The greatest obstacle for me has been the voice in my head that I call my obnoxious roommate... we would realize how important it is to stop this negative self-talk."

Tina Fey, American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and playwright.?

"The beauty of the Imposter Syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomaniac and a complete feeling; I'm a fraud."

Michelle Obama, American attorney, and author who served as the First Lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017

?"I still have a little [bit of] impostor syndrome; it never goes away..."

ROBERT KICKS THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME TO THE CURB

With commitment and hard work, Robert kicked imposter syndrome to the curb.

He refused to allow the old ingrained messages he received from his father to ruin his life. Robert took his power back.

He left the abusive situation in his work. He quit a relationship with a woman in which he was constantly abused. He began to attract individuals who were kind and respectful.?

After finding his dream job, he advanced quickly. His talents and enthusiasm were recognized and appreciated, and he made more money than he thought possible. He met a kind, generous and compassionate woman, and they became engaged.

Robert kicked the imposter syndrome to the curb, and you can too.?

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