Lawyers and Alcohol: My Own Journey

I want to say something about lawyers and drinking. And, as always, I can only offer my own perspective. And I am not afraid or ashamed to be real about myself and my life and my own journey.

I wasn't a regular drinker until I left BIGLAW. When I was in BIGLAW, I was basically chained to my desk for 60 to 70 hours a week.

But when I left BIGLAW, it was a different ballgame. I hung my own shingle. I had to generate business. Being in Fort Lauderdale, it was typical for lawyers, bankers, real estate types, and business people of all sorts to do happy hour. As in every day. Monday through Friday. That was just the done thing.

So I quickly joined the happy hour scene. I would leave my office around 5pm and go down to happy hour. I would rotate through different establishments. I went through a variety of phases. There were different characters involved in each of these respective phases. Big Jack was a fixture -- but who doesn't need that one absurd good friend who is always game for shenanigans and making bad decisions.

There was my phase at Timpano's (the old school, mafiaoso looking Italian steakhouse which I would have preferred they kept that way and did not make it all sparkly and renovated). Two glasses of cabernet (St. Supery Dollarhide), a greek salad, and definitely one but perhaps two orders of meatballs. They started calling me Johnny Meatballs. Until one absurd day (par for the course in my life) when a guy at the bar heard them call me Johnny Meatballs and got pissed because he knew the REAL Johnny Meatballs and I was not him.

There was my phase at Grille 401 before it shut down (like a string of other failed restaurants that inhabited that same perhaps doomed space).

There was my phase at Del Frisco's.

This went on for 7 or 8 years. Happy hour. Like clockwork. Monday through Friday.

At that point, things changed. Covid hit. I became a dad. I no longer went out and about on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. But I still drank wine.

4 or 5 o'clock. I'd have a couple glasses of wine.

Covid, all the business uncertainty and stress, being a new dad -- Instead of two glasses of wine, I'd often have 3.

I eventually dialed it back a bit. But I was habitually a 2 to 3 glass of wine a day kind of guy.

There would be times when something stressful would happen and I would think to myself, "I really need a glass of wine right now."

And at first, I tried to justify it and rationalize it and minimize it. But eventually I got the fuck real with myself and said: Jonathan, this is not good for you. Long-term, this is bad for you. This is maladaptive. You are basically drinking wine to cope with stress. And 2 to 3 glasses a day isn't the same as getting shit faced every day. But it's a problem and something you have to confront.

So my initial approach was to rein it in and only drink on certain days. For a while there, I gave myself Friday and Saturday evening. Those were my "free" days.

But I would literally be like: I have to really get it in! I only get to drink two days a week! I need to make it count. If you know, you know. And I KNOW that some of you feel me on this one. Because you've been there.

So I went through that phase. But I quickly realized that approach was, likewise, maladaptive and just not good for me.

So I had to back off that. My first strategy was to go back to JUST having 2 glasses of wine a day. Shocking, right?

But then I had a real heart to heart with myself. And I basically said: A person doesn't have to get shit-faced every day to have a problem with alcohol. My relationship with alcohol is not healthy and I need to change it.

So I cut it out. I did various trial runs. I gave up drinking for a month. Then drank for a bit. Then gave up drinking again. And I just tried to navigate it and figure out what works for me. And what I've realized over the past couple months is that generally not drinking works best for me.

Look, I love red wine. I am not going to lie. A big, bold cabernet. For me, that really hits the spot. But I had to restructure my relationship with drinking. My latest approach is to have one or two glasses of wine if it's a special occasion. As in: A wedding, Thanksgiving, Christmas, a big celebration. I know people who do it that way. And if I can do it that way, that's great.

If not, I'll let you know. I'm nothing is not honest.