Attorney Wellness is Good for Business: Intentional Living to Improve Your Life and Your Law Practice - Tips

Do you want to be successful? You HAVE TO be happy first. Happiness, for the most part, requires a healthy mind and healthy body. Without a solid foundation of happiness and wellness, nothing you do as a lawyer will be your very best. Without the best version of you, can you truly achieve your dreams and provide the type of value your clients expect from you?

Attorney wellness is good for business. Happy lawyers lead healthier and more successful lives. They attract more clients, reach more settlements, see things more clearly, react to realities in a more calm and collected manner, and provide higher quality of service to their clients.

Wellness is not only an ideal for our profession. It is an obligation to our profession, ourselves, our families, and our clients.

Not long ago, a girlfriend of mine, who is also an attorney, shared her experience of running into the best date she has ever had. She told me that it was a beautiful day, she felt truly happy, and had this almost careless and a bit feisty mood. She felt at peace with her life and all the good things in it. She decided to treat herself to a short road trip and get coffee at her very favorite cafe about 20 minutes from her home. She described is as “I looked in the mirror and was so happy with the person I was looking at. I felt fully liberated from any expectation from others, and was looking to enjoy my own energy and my own existence.” You can probably guess the rest of the story: she went into the coffee shop with the same happy mood and energy and may even have had a smile on her face as she ordered her coffee. Fate has it: this handsome guy was standing behind her and told her she looked very happy that day. The rest is history. He is now the promising boyfriend :) Almost a Hallmark movie, right?

Being attracted to happy people is not limited to handsome future boyfriends. Pay attention to all that you attract when you are fully happy. Better relationships, better opportunities, better clients, and better conversations are all attracted to the best version of you: smiling, kind, confident, compassionate, and free of pain, self-doubt or health issues. All of that is possible when you are healthy and happy.

The Reality

Approximately 1/4th of all lawyers in the U.S. reportedly suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, and some form of dependency, abuse or use of alcohol or drugs. No other profession is close. We all know it. We know how it affects our lives, our health, our work and even our personal lives. We know that the dark picture exists and affects our lives almost on a daily basis.

It is no surprise. Being a lawyer is hard work: it involves constant learning, painful lessons, fighting unreasonable client expectations, and the burden of emotional baggage that comes with each case, each client, and each opposing counsel.

Why is our profession so stressful?

Brian Dirk, in his analysis of Abraham Lincoln as a “Prairie Lawyer” (in a highly recommended book by Roger Billings, et al: Abraham Lincoln, Esq.: The Legal Career of America's Greatest President, https://muse.jhu.edu/book/621) sheds some excellent light to all of our stressful attorney lives when he says: “[d]ay in and day out, [lawyers] stare at the heat and friction created by the failings of human beings at war with one another.”

After all, as lawyers, we are the ones who “[stand] between creditors and debtors, between embattled husbands and wives, between parents and children, between business partners and neighbors.” “The things [we stand between are] nearly always in a state of flux, or tension.” Creditors bully debtors. Husbands and wives engage in the most brutal and heartless fights even when their children’s well-being is at stake. Families stab one another over inheritance. Immigrants constantly worry over their petitions and their American Dream. Read any record of a family law case or an estate fight, and it will be quickly clear how nasty these affairs can be. Day in and day out, our jobs, as lawyers, deal with highly stressful realities of other people’s lives.

In between all this chaos, our job is to be the peacemaker, referee, advocate, and the “lubricant” to the chaotic gears of the systems that surround us.

Given this reality and accepting the wisdom that happiness must come first as key to our success in life, how can we be the calm, collected, happy, effective leaders of all this chaos, effectively and successfully helping our clients while building the life we have always dreamt of?

The following approach incorporates mindfulness, physical health & exercise, and management of expectations and outcomes in order to assist lawyers in their planning of a happy and successful life as a lawyer.

I. RECOGNIZING BURNOUT

Every attorney is a unique person who brings her childhood, upbringing, learned behavior and life lessons into her practice. Lack of sleep may be a cherished extra time for some while devastating to health and happiness for others. However, the following is a general list indicating burnout in our profession that may be applicable to most of us:

• loss of interest,
• fear and anticipation of the worst case scenario in everything you do,
• sleep problems,
• substance use, abuse or dependency,
• ongoing anxiety, stress and depression
• relationship problems
• excessive guilt in not spending enough time with family or not being good enough at your job

In its beginning stages, you may recognize burnout in the feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, incompetence, and in sweating the small stuff and taking things extremely personally.

Most of us are not trained in effectively handling relationships and being thrown into the business of law practice does nothing more than aggravating our problems.

If you are finding yourself bursting into tears or initiating angry, frustrated conversations, feeling isolated and singled out in the family or at the office, your burnout may be knocking on your door.

Hopefully, it will not take that long for you to look into healthier, happier choices to avoid such burnout from the beginning. The ideal is for all of us to establish happy, health lives which will not be easily shaken by the challenges of our profession or the events & people over which we have absolutely no control.

II. UTILIZE MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION TO BENEFIT YOU AND YOUR CLIENTS

Fact: happy, healthy, calm and collected lawyers lead more successful practices and provide better services to their clients.

In any transaction or business, you will see these people who always smile. They seem calm and collected. They laugh more often. They seem to be surrounded by people, friends and strangers alike. They take vacations, even if it is camping in the woods behind their home, enjoy the company of others, and appear as though they have not a worry in this world. Once you take a closer look, you will realize that they may be dealing with just as many problems or even more in their lives. What sets them apart is their perspective and approach to those problems. They pay due attention but do not allow those problems overwhelm them.

Those are the balanced people with happy, healthy lives making calm and collected choices in their approaches.

You can be, too.

Mindfulness and mediation may be considered to be science. It is an ancient belief system to others. You will even meet some people who go through the teaching and travels in other countries to find more enlightenment.

Mindfulness begins with knowing yourself. Sounds easy enough. It isn’t easy. It IS possible. It takes a lot of self-reflection to find out who you are, as detached from the expectations of those around you and the teachings of the social and familial realities since our childhood. Mindfulness perhaps begins with a smile after realization of who you are, what you want in life, and what you expect from your legal profession.

Yes, you can certainly buy that magnetic, soft, comfortable, and flower-aroma-filled yoga mat, attend the best meditation course and even book your trip to meet the Dalai Lama on the mountains. Meditation and mindfulness can be much simpler than all that.

It begins with an intentional choice to be happy. No matter the circumstances, you can choose to be happy.

Breathing properly is key to begin an effective meditation or mindfulness session and requires absolutely no tools, expensive mats, or even a special place. In our travels, we have seen so many people meditating on the train, on a bench in the park, corner of their offices, or in the privacy of the porch at their homes.

There are many philosophies that place proper breathing into interesting concepts. A favorite is the concept of giving: you must give in life to be happy; but you cannot give without taking. Instead of shallow nose breathing, try a deep breath in while outside. Slowly breathe in the air through your nose and continue as you feel the fresh air travel through your internal organs. Hold it for a count of 3. Then exhale through your mouth. Repeat a few times. Once you have practiced breathing enough times, you will even learn how to heal your body sending fresh air to your points of pain, anxiety or stress. Close your eyes and simply observe your body working through one simple and free tool: fresh air.

You do not need to be a rich lawyer to have access to fresh air. Step outside your home in the morning and simply practice breathing.

Keep in mind, none of this has to be in response to any stress. You have to be happy first. In order to build a happy life, you must find yourself and peace within you. You will be amazed at the results if you build this routine into your daily life.

Regardless of how we live our daily lives, we will face challenges. It is, after all, the legal profession we have chosen. By managing expectations in a calm, collected, happy and healthy manner, we can also manage the much dreaded stress, anxiety, depression and other mental and physical health challenges.

There are countless free resources online about meditation and yoga techniques. If you would prefer to be held accountable to a routine, you may also check out your local yoga studios, LA Fitness classes, or other gyms. If you are trained in holding yourself accountable to a wellness schedule, the nature, mountains, beaches and other outdoor opportunities are almost always available at little to no cost and are the perfect places to practice breathing, practice yoga or take a refreshing hike.

III. MANAGING EXPECTATIONS TO REDUCE STRESS FOR YOU AND YOUR CLIENTS

a. For you

It all begins with managing expectations. There are perhaps as many expectations from a legal career as there are lawyers and law school students. Although the Ally McBeals, Rudy Baylors, Elle Woods, and Atticus Finch-es of this world certainly may inspire particular dreams and goals of lawyers, every one of us expects something unique from the profession. Yes, monetary wealth may be one common denominator for sure. However, how we earn a living or how we expect it to affect or change our lives is still very unique to each of us.

What makes YOU happy?

Closed cases bringing in revenue? Grateful clients? More money in the bank? More time with your family, friends? More traveling? More free time? Writing briefs? Appearing in court? Being well dressed and well presented among your colleagues? Proving to your family that you have made it? Being recognized for your work as a lawyer? Getting paid on time?

Get a laundry list of everything you can think of together. Do not hold back.

Once you list is ready, the next step is to go over your list three (3) times:

1st round: which one of these are the expectations of the society from you? Do you really want these for YOU? Or, are these expectations or goals going to appease others?

2nd round: which ones are of the learn-ed expectations from your family who always thought your argumentative personality and smart mouth would make you a perfect lawyer? (Boy, weren’t they wrong!) Do these truly matter to you?

3rd round: Is your main focus monetary wealth? If becoming rich and making more money is high on your list, make another list: what is the money for? Food, shelter, debt-free life, college fund for kids, vacation home in the Bahamas, money for world travel, a villa in Tuscany and chocolate (because, you know, Diane Lane in “Under the Tuscan Sun”)? How much does it cost for you to have a happy life? Identify the amount of money you truly need.

Keep in mind how Henry David Thoreau determines the price of anything in life: “the cost of a thing is the amount of life you exchange for it immediately or in the long run.”

Work on the list until it truly reflects YOUR passions, goals and needs in life.

This list will assist you in identifying what it means to be practicing law to YOU. It will also empower you and your skill set and help you set and achieve your goals. What are your expectations? How much money do you need to be happy? How many cases would you need to successfully close to get there in any given time period (e.g., week, month, year)? What is the optimal manner in which you can practice law and meet your own non-monetary goals in your practice.

The same process can be applied to your expectations from every client. What are your expectations from the client and how should s/he behave during the life of this case? What would take your peace and joy away and therefore must be managed strictly? What do you want the beginning, ending and the process to look like in between in this case? How often will you call and inform your client? If the mutually desired monetary goals cannot be met (due to the legal system, etc), what are the alternative definitions of success for you and your client? What specifically do you want from the client? What actions must you take to make this happen? How can you effectively communicate these to your client and get her buy-in?

b. For The Client

What brings peace and joy to you when it comes to clients? Get to know your clients. Know their names and birthdays. Know their story. Find a mutual interest. Realize that it is not their job to know the law. It is yours. You must know, research, update, and clearly explain the law and the process to your client, and give her expected timelines to hear from you. Also tell her something about yourself. What would brighten your day? What little surprise would make your life special?

Turn each client and his case into a story you enjoy hearing, working on and taking pride in.

Place 3 different goals with your client.

#1 - The ultimate goal of the client, e.g., keep me out of jail, get me money from the insurance company, win a fight in a lawsuit against me, etc.

• Is this goal achievable? What are the typical roadblocks? Discuss each item with your client and follow up with a letter detailing this information.
• What superior traits do you have as a lawyer in working for this client’s goal? Discuss these with your client.

#2 - If the ultimate goal is not attainable, what is the next best outcome that would make you and your client happy? Decide together. Give your client a clear picture as to why this is more attainable and why it is still just as important.

#3 - If the #1 or #2 cannot be achieved, why? Tell your client about the realities of the legal system and the factual background affecting the outcomes. If needed, bring in another attorney or a former judge to explain those realities. This goal is to set expectations realistically. Include these expectations clearly on your agreement to be signed and notarized by your client. Call it “keeping each other honest.” Work with your client to identify “if all else fails” goal. What is the least she is expecting from this case? Is it attainable? What are the roadblocks? Be honest. If getting zero out of this case is a real possibility, they need to hear it now, not after the case is closed.

Assign expected outcomes and expectation to each level of goals. If you are able to get your client #1, what would you expect? A glowing recommendation on Google? Identify and ask for it now.

If you get him #2, how much work will it take on your end and how do you want that to be acknowledged?

If you get him zero - she goes to jail, what are your expectations from the client?

All these steps and questions are designed to serve your goals and passion in life as an attorney. These questions are mere examples. YOU decide what you want from your practice and how you can make it work. You can rely on your instincts and ongoing training to identify the clients who will never be happy no matter the results or the work you put in. How badly do you want their money to deal with such behavior for months or even years, in some cases?

IV. MAINTAINING GOOD MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH

Fact: Lawyer wellness is good for the business. Happy, healthy, calm and collected lawyers lead more successful practices and happier lives. Even if you are not motivated to workout every day for your own health, do it to make more money and to have a better law practice.

Food

I am an immigrant to the United States. The American life is a blessed one and I am forever grateful for the opportunities my American Dream has given me. That being said, I am absolutely stunned at the quality of what is being considered food in the United States.

Eat real food. Your brilliant attorney mind can easily research what is in the food you eat and feed to your family. Google is your friend. A simple search, e.g., “what is in Kraft mac and cheese?” followed by a search as to health consequences of the ingredients will lead you to truth.

Grow your own food. Gardening, even if it is in a small pot outside your window, is incredibly rewarding but also meditative.

Cook your own food. Learning about new recipes, trying them out with your family and friends and eating it, no matter how out of shape it looks, can be incredibly refreshing.

The Mediterranean diet is highly recommended. It is simple: it is the best in the world. Full of fresh vegetables, fruit, and the most delicious recipes. Ever since I have significantly decreased my intake of wheat, non-organic dairy and GMO produce smeared with pesticides, I have become a brand new, healthier, happier person.

Control your portions. When you go to Europe, pay attention to their plate sizes. If you are eating real food, a little bit of it will be satiating. “Fake food” will make you hungry and keep you wanting it more and more. If you have just had dinner and are feeling hungry and craving something more, you know it was not real food.

Curb your appetite with delicious snacks: dark chocolate, roasted hazelnuts, organic raisins, dried figs or apricots, goat cheese slices with walnuts, and fresh fruit slices will keep you feeling full while giving your body the most needed nutrients.

Exercise. We all know the rewards of exercise. What most of us may not know is the reality that as humans, our brains were built for walking - 12 miles a day! In order for our brains to perform at their optimal level, exercise is absolutely necessary. Whether you like biking, walking on a treadmill, going out for a hike or a run, lifting weights or sweating at the yoga studio, get your exercise in first thing every day.

Most people fail to exercise due to their own perception of what it must look like: in super hot looking clothes, with the perfect ponytail, as part of an exclusive gym membership or following the guidance of someone well known in the weight-loss world.

It is not that complicated. In fact, it is super simple: take your legs for a walk in the neighborhood. Practice your breathing while hiking in the meadows in the park. Check out a yoga class in the morning or after work.

Simplify the idea. Action will follow.

Outdoors Whatever exercise you choose, make sure some of it is outdoors. There is absolutely no exercise that will replace the one done outdoors with fresh air, changing seasons, observation of the plants and the brain-refreshing power of the world in the elements.

Routines. Build routines for almost everything.

A routine to get up at 5:30 am and be at the gym at 6:00 or 6:30 am every morning.

A routine to meal plan and have all your weekly meals in fun little containers.

A routine to learn something new every month, completely unrelated to law practice.

A routine to invite your friends over every two months or so and have fun.

A routine to plan a trip to another country every year.

A routine to talk about work for only 25 minutes at home every day.

A routine to tell a story to a child that makes him or her smile every week.

Whatever it is that makes you happy, build a routine for it. Your happiness is your responsibility. Make it a routine.

Accountability

The biggest challenge to our wellness is perhaps accountability. We do not have anyone to report to when it comes to feeling happy, refreshed, healthy, calm and collected. No one will ask us about it but perhaps everyone will suffer the consequences when it is not there.

As law firm wellness consultants at ECEROI.com, this is where we come in. We work with lawyers and law firms to identify their “happy zone” and keep them accountable until you get there. Once you get there, we help you maintain your routines and keep the accountability going for a happy & healthy life. We welcome any of our readers to schedule a consultation with us to discuss how we can help you and your team to reach the optimal mental and physical health so that you can be the best lawyer possible and reach your goals of successful practice.

Here are some tips:

Build an accountability system into your life. Keep in mind that this system cannot be a system of restrictions, bans, or restraints. If you tell yourself that you cannot sit on the couch but instead must go workout, it will give more power to the idea that you are restricting yourself from something you love: sitting on the couch. Your brain will fall back into wanting to do what it is said not to do (remember the lizard brain). Instead, identify what empowers you. Imagine all that it will do for you if you are empowered by a routine to workout every morning. “Beginning now, I am going to establish a system of exercise. I will diversify it and do something different every day. It will be fun.” is a lot more effective than telling yourself “I cannot eat chocolate cake anymore.” Your brain is smart. It knows you CAN eat the cake. It also knows, if you keep yourself accountable, you CAN build an amazing, empowering exercise routine, too.

Schedule it

Accountability only works if it is an action item to be acted upon. Once you determine what routines will help you achieve your best physical and mental goals, schedule every one of them. Your calendar is not only for your meetings, court appearances, client calls, and deadlines. If you have nothing else but the scheduling of “failing of humans at war with one another,” no wonder you may be feeling stressed. Schedule the happiest, healthiest, most rewarding routines into your calendar.

CONCLUSION

Every day, we have a choice. We can tell the world how it is going to be and set specific routines to set up our lives for success. Or, we can simply exist and emotionally react to what happens to us. As lawyers, we have a responsibility to be the best version of ourselves and serve our clients and our profession in the best way possible.

By intentionally establishing healthy and happy routines, we can anticipate, manage, and overcome the challenges of the legal profession in a calm, constructive, systematic manner. We can achieve the balance we always seek as lawyers by using simple but effective tools such as meditation, mindfulness, breathing exercises, choosing healthier eating habits, spending more time outdoors, and setting aside time to continuously and intentionally invest in ourselves.

Accountability is at the heart of any plan for success. ECEROI.com, we help lawyers and law firms with their wellness goals so as to help them achieve more successful law practices. Attorney wellness is in the heart of successful law practice.

Remember: attorney wellness is good for the business.

Write to us on ECEROI.com to schedule your consultation. Start the new era in your life towards a more profitable business, better relationships and the best version of you! We have the tools. You will make it happen. If you are not ready for ECE to help you yet, join us at HIKING LAWYERS on Facebook for free membership, hiking and wellness suggestions and weekly recipes.

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PS: My colleague and friend Rene Heinrich and I presented on similar topics at the 2019 AAJ Winter Convention in Florida and covered most of these tips. I thank Rene for her valuable contributions especially in yoga and breathing techniques.