The Law of Attraction

Do you know Drake, the singer? Drake, the Canadian rapper and?music?producer? Drake is now … in Portugal. In fact he’s living in my home.

But he barks instead of singing, and produces great company instead of rap. Drake is the name of my daughter's dog.

Like many other dogs, Drake is afraid of fireworks, as well as unusual noises, like balloons bursting or skateboards. When he is at home, he barks at every noise he hears on the street. When people pass by talking loudly he barks even louder. We don't need a doorbell, Drake is our doorbell.

When I’m walking him at the park and he hears a loud sound, he immediately starts pulling the leash to come home. This is annoying, because the next morning we will wake up sooner.

At first, what I did was giving him a little hug to calm him down. I would replace the negative emotion of fear with a positive emotion of acceptance.

I later found out that if I pull his leash and make him run, his fear disappears completely. His physical activity generates positive feelings that stop his fear mode.

But if we can interrupt the dogs' emotions, how can we do it with our fears and negative emotions? Unfortunately, we have nobody next to us pulling our leash. How can we get less angry when we see a car badly parked on a sidewalk or crosswalk, putting pedestrians at risk?

We are driven by desires and fears.

The emotions of fear exist to ensure our survival. When we go into fear mode, we don't think about anything else, we leave our desires for another time.

The best way to get rid of an emotion of fear is to replace it with a positive emotion, like I do with Drake, making him run. The other way is rationalize it. The first step is to recognize the emotion, the second step is to try to explain that emotion. That's why it's important to keep a journal about our emotions, it helps us recognize and find explanations for negative emotions and reduce their negative impact. And it also helps us to recognize the positive emotions and try to make them happen more and more.

Are you in the habit of writing a diary or journal?

It's something I started doing 2 years ago. I started writing in a journal 5 reasons to be grateful for that day, or 5 positive things, with the help of Trello App. More recently, I started also recording 5 negative emotions. The positive emotions are related to desires, the negative emotions are related to fears.

Why is it important to master fears and focus on positive emotions? Because we end up being led where we want to be.

Many years ago, I worked in a consulting company and received a new company car, an Audi. On my first trip to the Algarve I realized how many Audi's were crossing?my?path in the highway.The number of Audi’s in circulation didn't really increase, it was me who became more aware of the existence of these cars.

When you're aware to what you want, it's easier to find it.

And we end up finding what we think about, be it good things or bad things. This is the Law of Attraction:

We attract what we think about, either good or bad.

How can you focus more on the positive? Just do the same think I did: keep a daily record of your moods and attitudes, noting when you feel positive or negative, your successes and efforts, and things for which you are grateful. Record and evaluate any changes in your behavior or the behavior of those around you.

Be positive. You will live happier and longer.

And even if you don’t care about living happier or longer, staying positive will make you a better leader and communicator.