Laughter is Not the Best Medicine. Friendship is.

A story in honor of the International Laughter Day, April 14th.

When Lenny Ravich and I decided to start working together in 2006, he told me: "Before you can train and work with me, you need to become a laughter teacher." I did not know that such a thing exists but when a master says to do it, I respectfully follow. He suggested that I attend a teacher training in Laughter Yoga which was established a decade earlier by the laughter guru Dr. Madan Kataria. The next available course was in Paris, where we proceeded to laugh for 9 hours a day over 5 days and lose 2kg while eating fabulous rich French food. Laughter is an aerobic exercise, and it absolutely affects your body positively. I felt that the process released a lot of stress, anxiety, and worries which were trapped in my body, by literally laughing them out of my system. I had an overdosage of positivity which alienated some people instead of connecting them. I started for a while to see everything through pink laughter lenses.

The day after the course, I was fully energized and first to arrive at the airport to catch a flight to Israel. An hour before the check-in time, I was greeted by a sign "Flight Closed." The flight was overbooked, filled with transfer passengers, and was informed that the next flight would be departing in 12 hours. Floating on the laughter clouds of the previous 5 days, I did not take anything into my heart, instead of anger and frustration, I simply laughed.

Suddenly I saw a very short middle-aged lady sobbing in the arms of a very short middle-aged man. I approached and asked what happened. "Our teenage son is autistic. We left him in an institution for the weekend so that we could have our first vacation in a decade. If we do not get back on time, he will start banging his head on the wall."

I approached Air France's ground agent who was trying to calm down the angry crowd and said, "Pierre, in a short while you will have not a few but 300 angry Israeli passengers feeling insulted and cheated. I can handle the mob for you if you take this couple and put them on the flight now.". Pierre handed me the hotel and lunch vouchers, to assuage the passengers, I said, "Wait, what about breakfast and dinner? What about late checkout? What about call’s home to inform the families? What about compensation?". Pierre immediately made a few calls as the crowd grew bigger and more restless. He arranged for someone to bring me the additional vouchers and took the distressed couple directly to the plane.

My experience as an officer in the army and a leader in a few organizations was helpful to manage the angry crowd. The laughter mindset was helpful in focusing on solutions rather than problems and not take insults, rudeness, and intimidations to heart. With a smile, I was able to happily ignore the naysayers, the entitled, the victims, whilst managing to pacify the crowd. I was smiling broadly while giving each one the set of vouchers, uplifting everyone with words of comfort and positively. After all, they all had received a full refund of their return flight to Paris.

When I went to cash the voucher I realized that practicing a laughter attitude coupled with a smile, being polite and respectful incentivize other people to happily help you. While lack of respect, being rude and entitled will do the opposite. I approached the agent at the business desk with a few words I know in French "Excusez-moi mademoiselle. S'il vous pla?t, aidez-moi" she smiled and gave me the vouchers. The person behind me was grumpy and demanding. She sent him and all the hundred people behind him to the economy desk that had a big line.

At the hotel, almost everyone was expressing their appreciation. Except for Ofer, who declares, "You have no empathy. You did not want to listen to how we feel. You may be on drugs or something. How can you laugh and be happy when the flight is canceled? This is not a funny situation. I have the right to be angry and upset.”

Being high on a week of laughter endorphins I smiled from ear to ear and replied: "I did what I had to do the help the couple and to help each one of you. I took responsibility and did it with a smile. And what did you do to help others? You are being unappreciative and enjoying being a negative victim. Why don't you just laugh at what you can't change?"

Reflecting back on Ofer's comment after 15 years, I still think that a leader needs to focus on solving the most urgent things first and deal with the crisis before attending to how people feel about things. However, his comment reminds me to pay more attention to the emotional needs of people, especially during adversity. The danger of wearing pink glasses is to become oblivious to other people's emotional needs.

While having a laughter mindset has lots of benefits, laughter is not a destination, solution nor goal. For me, laughter is a great result and a symptom of good relationships.

Studies have shown that social support from family members and friends is strongly associated with better mental and physical health resulting in higher longevity. People with great relationships have lower stress levels; improve mood; better cardiovascular health, higher illness recovery rates.

As I went to research causes of healing what stood out in most cases was on top of the right diagnose, the right medical treatment was the genuine care and medical staff and the love and support of the close friends and family.

With that, I suggest that friendship, not laughter is the best medicine and the best laughter is at your own expense.