LAUGH A LITTLE AT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

JUST SOME ECCENTRICITIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

No matter how hard I tried, I could not find a pine or apple in my pineapple. There are no dogs in hotdogs, and I don’t eat dog meat hot or cold.! Since vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat, humans? That would be wrong! Don’t go looking for egg in an eggplant dish, or ham in your hamburger.

Your English muffin was not invented in England, nor your French fries in France.

Remember the old adage an apple a day keeps the doctor away? Is that still the case? Why should your wife still insist you see a doctor for your annual checkup, when you have been eating an apple each day?

The boxing tournament I watched last was in Madison Square Garden, in New York, where the boxing ring are square.

I went to drop off my garbage at the dump the other day. The dump was so full they had to refuse more refuse.

With the war going on in the Sahel, this soldier could not take it anymore. He decided to desert his unit in the middle of the desert, only after eating his dessert.

It is getting to that time of year again where students will be expected to recite at school plays and play at the recitals.

We all know about the saying ‘a good soldier is one that never had to fire a single shot’. When you meet that good soldier, tell him/her I say hello. All the soldiers I know have fired at least one shot if not more.

Believe me English is a crazy language. In which other language will you be able to park your car in a driveway, and drive it on a parkway?

Before you know it, it’s the end of year and time to celebrate Christmas, when we will be shipping our presents by truck. And when the gift is big enough, we can only send the cargo by ship.

We all see the big fires still raging through parts of Canada. Many ?of the victims have their homes burnt down. To file a claim, people were given forms to fill in by filling them out.

On a beautiful starlit night, when the stars were out, they were visible. When we got home after the star gazing, and the lights were out, they became invisible. How come? Is it too much to ask for a little consistency here?

Do you miss daddy’s watch which he had to wind up to start it?

Well all things that have a beginning must have an end, so as I wind up this short piece to end it, have a good weekend even though it is just about to start.

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