A lasting life lesson my dad taught me

Previously I wrote a post about a lesson from my dad that wasn't pleasant; in fact, it taught me to do the opposite with my own kids. Now I'd like to write about a lesson my dad taught me which I remember with fondness. These are lessons I try to pass onto my own children.

The lesson My dad taught me

I recall the day I ran into a family car with the town DPW truck as clear as day. My workmate and I were painting fire hydrants that morning. I was driving the two-ton pick-up down a hill where the road bent so I couldn't see the stop sign at the bottom.

I'm not sure which I saw first; the stop sign or the station wagon that contained a mother and her two kids. No matter, because when I slammed the brakes, the pick-up skidded into the car. But not before my workmate screamed, "Oh my God, where' going to die."

My first reaction was to punch the steering wheel and shatter the horn. My workmate looked like he'd lost all color on his face. The family car looked like it took the worse of the two vehicles. And the paint we were using to paint hydrants was sprayed over the bed and road like a gruesome crime scene. 

I remember the supervisor, who arrived on the scene, not being as mad about the accident as he was about the paint that had been lost, the only paint we had in the budget for the summer. (My workmate and I were both teenage help hired for the summer. We didn't realize our luck at the time.)

He shook his head in disgust, mumbling, "McIntosh." Surprisingly I didn't lose my job. Not surprisingly my workmate asked to work with another teenage helper for the rest of the summer.

That night my father announced that he, my mother, and I were going to the movies. I was curious, as movies weren't something our family attended often, if at all. I was still brewing over my accident earlier that day, but he insisted. 

I headed toward the back door of our Valiant when I heard my father say, "You're driving." I'm driving, I thought? Hadn't I just gotten into an accident? "I don't feel like driving," he said. "So here are the keys. Get in." I drove my father and mother to the movies without incident. 

What I learned from Dad's lesson

Obviously my dad was making me "get back on the horse" so I wouldn't lose my confidence. He could have easily driven us to the movies, if that in fact was where he and my mother wanted to go to.

He was also telling me that mistakes happen. They're a part of life. Granted, running into a car with family members isn't a smallish mistake, but it was a mistake that could happen to anyone. 

Life is a lesson. Throughout life I will make mistakes. Will I dwell on them and quite possibly avoid similar situations, or will I face them head on instead of avoiding situation where mistakes may happen. In other words, will I live my life in fear.

In a way, he was telling me he had confidence in my ability to get over the  huge mistake (at the moment it seemed like one) and that he loved me. This is probably the greatest reward that came from my lesson. Knowing that he had confidence in me and loved me, despite my having run into a car, has stayed with me my whole life. 

How this translates to my children

There have been times when I was faced with honest mistakes my children have learned. Some had minor consequences, while others had more serious ones. In all cases I have tried to remain cool and let them know that mistakes happen. 

This is not to say I accept all their mistakes. No, I use my "serious" voice and explain what the consequences will be, but I always follow by telling, "This will never happen again, right?" Their response is always the affirmative. Finally I tell them that I love them no matter what they do. Because I do.

Photo: Flickr, Gil