Last Week's Leadership Lessons - November 18, 2024
John M. Jaramillo, MBA, MSOP
Leadership Performance Coach & Consultant | Leadership Design & Branding | Podcast Host??| Executive Advisor | Freelance Writer ?? | Speaker
Lessons From The Week of November 11th
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This Week: 1. Stop People Pleasing / 2. Creating Your Dreams / 3. Highest Achievers, Painfully Unhappy
Reader Beware: If you've been here before, you know the drill. Please feel free to jump right on ahead to the list of stories. If not, read from here on to understand what I'm trying to capture in the Last Week's Leadership Lessons (LWLL) series.
Talking about leadership can be repetitive and boring as hell!
We're always seeing and hearing the same old definitions, constructs, and formal tips related to and regurgitated about the leadership field, every so often punctuated by a perpetually rotating door of the latest industry buzzwords.
Even with all its great energy and intention, the themes and hopes of the leadership discipline, admittedly, can become a little monotonous -- without great stories and living examples to wake them up.
(Granted, I post about them as well. Guilty. So I guess maybe I mean "overkill." The?overkill?of your run-of-the-mill leadership ideas is what I'm trying to supplement -- and maybe unlock -- here through more unique takes and lenses.)
Hence why I launched this series.
The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically.
In this series, I want to capture themes and ideas for leadership -- while being particularly cautious that they not be necessarily conveyed as leadership lessons in the articles or sources I cite. I want to find examples that demonstrate more lessons about HUMANITY than the usual script of clichéd leadership building blocks.
The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically. And it's not like I'm forsaking one for the other; the former should inform and be the foundation for the latter. (That's just me. That's just my take.)
And to be clear, these valuable lessons, as I express them, aren't carved in stone. My translations aren't absolute. They can't be. It's not that simple. I think that's what gets us in trouble when it comes to learning (or not) about society and each other: Most issues are typically seen as black and white, left and right, up and down, one side or the other. But again, it's not that simple. Not everything can be. We force it to be that way.
In most instances -- not all, but in most -- there is room for interpretation and different ideas and views to be exchanged somewhere on the middle ground. More nuance exists than we typically see -- or will admit.
And in that nuance there's beauty. Because in that nuance we can learn from each other. And because of that nuance, each of my interpretations is just one option for consideration in that middle ground of learning.
All that being said, below are three articles I came across last week that have valuable lessons for leadership, purpose, and expression. In reading these pieces, you may find the lessons for leadership do not immediately stand out or reveal themselves -- and that's because lessons can range from the loud, obvious, and obnoxious to the subtle, unassuming, and hidden. In my breakdowns below I'll first cover the idea In General and then it's applicability In Leadership.
...it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.
And although the source materials are not all leadership-related per se, they can all apply to leadership -- in terms of how you present yourself, navigate through life and work, and move, impact, inspire, and appreciate others.
Even if you feel you've already crafted your leadership to where you want it to be and the results clearly show it -- where others can get behind them and vouch for you -- it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.
Gestures, speeches, action, inaction, decisions, announcements, etc. They all tie in.
So bear with me. Some of them might seem like a stretch. But have some faith that I may be crazy -- but not?too?crazy.
This practice is merely effort to learn about ourselves, where we can improve, and how we can evolve.
Lessons are everywhere.
1. Stop People Pleasing
In General
If there's one thing I've learned while hosting my podcast, The Book Leads: Impactful Books For Life & Leadership, it's that why we do things evolves over the span of our experiences, lives, and careers. Something we did that was unhealthy can become healthy. The end result doesn't change -- in this case, the benefit to other people -- but why we do it does.
In this case, in short and in general, people-pleasing still involves someone being helped and getting what they need or want. When we were younger, we might have done things for others to make sure they had what they needed, having given so (too) much of ourselves out of fear and insecurity. As we get older and mature, though, we may still be out to help others, but it's provided instead out of the abundance we have of who we are and what we're capable of. Same results but different drivers. I wrote a bit more on people-pleasing in SPARK Magazine. Find the article HERE.
"If a leader is giving away too much, and for the wrong reasons, they will find themselves in a toxic slide on the losing side."
In Leadership
Ongoing reassurance to ourselves that we're doing things the healthy way is vital to great leadership. Doing things for the wrong reasons, especially for those situations and people that are toxic, can drain our good energy and intentions. (And by "toxic," I mean we can create and perpetuate toxic circumstances and environments for ourselves just as much as anyone else can.)
A leader should work to make sure they're helping others for the right reasons. First, to make sure they're not being taken advantage of, and second, to retain their good energy and intentions. Good energy and intentions are priceless and should be protected. We can help others but need to make sure we're doing it for the right reasons. If a leader is giving away too much -- and for the wrong reasons -- they will find themselves in a toxic slide on the losing side.
What you're doing for others -- is it rewarding and healthy to you, or are you doing it solely out of fear and guilt?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Applicable Past LWLL Editions
2. Creating Your Dreams
In General
Life moves forward -- whether with or without us. Things happen, some that might go our way and others that might not. ("Okay, now what?" - Dr. Benjamin Ritter 's super power) That we take the next steps -- that is what's always important, especially if it's working in the direction we want to head.
Whether it's a result of something major or that we're just making our way through life or work, we should think deep and hard about what it is we want for ourselves and those around us and work toward that. Not just surviving but also thriving. We should consider what our dream is and how we're going to prepare and make our best effort to achieve it.
"Leaders can give up too much if they don't pay attention to what they want."
In Leadership
Leaders can give up too much if they don't pay attention to what they want. They may be going through the motions, on cruise control, ready to achieve what they're supposed to achieve without giving real, deep, full thought to what they want to achieve. To what they've dreamed about.
Everyone is different. Some leaders just want to get the job done, while others want to do so in a way that allows them to achieve what they've always wanted, whether in their career path or through what it affords them. Compartmentalization between work/business and life doesn't exist as much as it used to. Who you are here impacts who you are there. All your experiences provide you energy, conditioning, and reinforcement to move in the direction you want.
Politics aside, how do you dust yourself off and align yourself with the right people who want to work forward, proactively building toward and not compromising what you want for yourself in the process?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Applicable Past LWLL Editions
3. Highest Achievers, Painfully Unhappy
In General
High achievers, while becoming accustomed to delivering high performance and results, are so different from each other. They all have different needs. But what might they be sacrificing and setting aside in order to reach such a high level of achievement? The commitment, dedication, and discipline to get there, for most, may come at a cost. They're coasting forward, focused and performing while neglecting their other basic human needs.
Maybe they're not connecting fully with others. Maybe they're not truly recognizing their own wins. Maybe they're neglecting their physical and mental health and needs for the sake of achievement. They're not aware of what they truly sacrifice until the goal is attained and it's too late. They've given all they could without getting and retaining what they truly needed.
"This is the real danger in leadership: Keeping a strong facade -- because you believe you have to -- without taking care of yourself."
In Leadership
“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” (from Shakespeare's King Henry IV, Part 2). Relating the quote to this lesson, this is the real danger in leadership: Keeping a strong facade -- because you believe you have to -- without taking care of yourself. So, leaders may be performing, getting to the top of their craft without getting what they need during the journey. Yes, it's what they wanted, but the cost ends up being too much in the end.
Mental health has gained (and retained) attention and prominence over the years. It's garnering more attention and resources throughout society. And there's no exception for leaders when it comes to mental health consideration; they need to mind their own needs as much as they may be encouraging it for anyone else. If a leader doesn't take all their needs into consideration proactively as they go, they will suffer the consequences later. With more duties, responsibility, and results expected of a leader should come the recognition to understand the full range of what they need.
At what point in your achievement path might your satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment give way and be compromised to anxiety, unhappiness, and emptiness?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Applicable Past LWLL Editions
Honorable Mention
Hiding Grief Behind A Mask
In Leadership
Traditionally, and unfortunately, we've always been programmed to convey strength and that we're completely in control of our environment. Anything less was seen as weakness. One could be a liability to the group if they weren't in control of their emotions, in the process compromising everyone else if their energy was being used to keep things together in their distracted mind.
Times have changed, though. There is space and understanding to convey need and loss. With leaders, its understandable -- and preferred -- if they convey their needs and not suffer alone in silence. Their worlds of work and personal life intersect. It's better for a leader to have a mind that's working to acknowledge all their needs instead of trying to toughen up and power through. Grief can result from so many reasons, look so different, and be addressed in any number of ways from person to person. Each leader needs to understand what it is they need in order to move forward with at least a recovering, not anchored, mind.
Whatever the loss might be, how do you go about grieving -- whatever that might mean to and look like for you -- so you don't become paralyzed with unprocessed grief and loss?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Applicable Past LWLL Editions
Honorable Mention
Regrets Of Those On Their Death Beds
In Leadership
We all think about legacy differently -- VERY DIFFERENTLY. Some of us work every day toward that lasting legacy, idea, and impact we want to leave, whether it's on our team, our project, our professional field, or life. The desired end result is what drives our attitudes and decisions today. Great leaders are always working, whether they know it or not, with that end result in mind. They have that evolving vision of the state of things and how they want to leave them behind.
They won't always execute perfectly, and they're okay with that. That if they give their all with the best of intentions, they know they can only control the results so much. They can live with that. What they can't -- and don't want to -- live with is regret, mostly for what they let happen through clumsiness, ignorance, or neglect. They can sense when their approach is getting away from who they are at the center. The further away they get from that center of values, virtue, peace, and integrity, the greater the power of regrets forming later.
How is the impact you're having on others living up to the legacy you want to leave when it's all said and done?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Applicable Past LWLL Editions
That's it! Those are the main articles for this week.
What other examples of leadership lessons – maybe even those that aren’t so apparent and obvious – do you come across in your everyday life and work?
What have you read lately that offers some insight on being human and navigating life -- and yes, by default, leadership.
Reach out to me and let me know what you think of these. Please share your own if you've found articles or stories with great lessons or insights that can contribute to how we carry ourselves through our lives and work.
Okay...A Leadership Article
Okay, yes. I had to include an article that is focused on leadership. At least one.
Being A Great Leader When You Haven't Received Training
In Leadership
There's no excuse for someone to say they don't have the right tools to create, design, and practice their leadership. There's too many resources out there and people to learn from to not be curious about leadership growth and development. It's a matter of people becoming aware of the learning that's at their fingertips.
Whether you're developing your leadership own or that of others, what does the leadership work look like? The management of the work and the leading of the people doing it are two different things. It's not enough to be elevated to a position of power and call it a day. More goes into it -- ongoing work to build up one's leadership capacity. But so many are left wilting on the vine, not being able to harness lessons, tap into their own abilities, or help others grow.
If training is lacking in your environment, what are you doing about it to enhance leadership self-awareness, growth, and impact?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Network Conversations With...Laura Di Franco & Justin Breen
This past week, recent collaborator and publisher extraordinaire Laura Di Franco reached out to introduce me to Justin Breen . In the introduction, Laura shared there was a lot the three of us had in common when it came to what we wanted to do in the world and with our businesses, clients, and work. There was an "us" factor. We are a type who has a vision for what we want and are driven ferociously by the impact we want to have on people and the differences we want to make in their lives.
Find your "us" group. This isn't to say you all need to have the same specific goals. Laura, Justin, and I don't. But when you find your "us" group, it taps into an energy that feels different. What you feel and what you want to do makes perfect sense, whereas in other groups, those energies might not be triggered to their full effect to do good, rewarding, and impactful work.
That energy becomes stagnant if you don't find that group, and yet fires on all cylinders when you do. And some people will never know what they're missing because they haven't been made aware of it.
Have you found your "us" group that helps unleash what it is you want to relentlessly accomplish in your life and work?
Last 10 LWLL Editions...
November 11, 2024 - 1. Building Confidence / 2.Owning A Problem / 3. Skipping Small Talk
November 4, 2024 - 1. Sensitivity & Needing Time Alone / 2. The Pursuit of Arts / 3. Avoiding Invisibility
June 10, 2024 - 1. Navigating Unfairness / 2. Conversation Starters / 3. Setting Boundaries With Your Mentor
June 3, 2024 - 1. Your Reputation After A Mistake / 2. Being Insightful / 3. Negative Self-Talk
May 28, 2024 - 1. Knowing When To Exit / 2. Excelling At Conversation / 3. The Dark Side of Habits
May 20, 2024 - 1. Compelling Story Brand / 2. Disciplined People Traits / 3. Resilience Myths
May 13, 2024 - 1. Exhausted & Unmotivated / 2. Personal Brand & Sales / 3. Practical Optimism
May 6, 2024 - 1. Anxiety As A Catchall / 2. Branding Ecosystem / 3. Disengaged Bosses
April 29, 2024 - 1. Unbothered People / 2. What People Think / 3. Toxic Shame
April 22, 2024 - 1. Negative Mood / 2. Anxiety About Public Speaking / 3. Describing Yourself
April 15, 2024 - 1. Empathic Listening / 2. Power of Questions / 3. Faces of Resilience
What Do YOU Think?
What are your thoughts on these topics? Again, like everything else in this newsletter, the ideas here may not come to mind immediately when you think of leadership, but there's a place for them. These stories and questions ask us to consider how we see, interact with, and influence people -- and leadership is all about people. Sometimes, all it takes is a great prompt or a simple question to have us think about (or rethink) areas of our lives.
Failure Not So Helpful After All
Check Out The Article HERE!
Sparking Creativity and Innovation
Check Out The Article HERE!
To Tolerate Or Cut People Off?
Check Out The Article HERE!
Taking Work Too Personally
Check Out The Article HERE!
Graphic Finds
Here's a few graphics I came across this week that painted a great picture, breaking down information and bringing to life a great idea clearly for our understanding. A visual helps make an idea pop, allowing us to see multiple moving parts at once. As always, it may not be perfect -- including everything we'd like to see or possibly including some things we'd rather not consider. But, at the very least, it gets us thinking and talking about the topic.
External & Internal Causes of Burnout
I found both of these graphics on the Infographic Insights LinkedIn group feed.
Everyone's burnout has a different origin and look. Some clients I work with burn out because of the lack of work-life balance. Others may be because of limited resources at work. Another group's is based on keeping up with personalities at work. Still others may experience burnout because what they're doing doesn't make them happy. And these are just some reasons for burnout. What's yours?
The Actual Causes of Burnout graphic below, to me, shares what external factors can play into our stress and burnout levels while the How to Confront The 8 Types Of Burnout graphic below that shows what we bring to our environments, the pressures we put on ourselves. Looking at both of these graphics allows us to consider what might be impacting us, leading us to burn out.
How do you recognize and break down the stress points, both within yourself and in your environment, that lead to burnout?
Follow-Up On Past Editions
Here are some follow-up articles that build on, supplement, or intersect with topics covered in previous editions.
There's always a different take or angle to help us refine and build upon a discussion we've had in the past. We can bring either some reinforcement, clarity, or questions to past understandings. Because I just give you the articles and how they connect to previous editions, I leave you to figure out, much how I break down the lessons above, how to extract the lessons for your own leadership.
The Book Leads Podcast - Season 3, Episode 97: Mónica Esgueva
As a Self-Development and Spiritual Author and Teacher, Mónica is out to provide to others insights and tools no one could have provided to her at a young age when she was curious with existential questions about what life is all about. While her classmates dreamed of reaching material successes in their adulthood, she, at 18 years of age, only wanted to "become a wise person with a big heart.
"That desire and curiosity lead her off the beaten societal path of education and typical successes and on a quest to seek out her own enlightenment by traveling to India and Nepal, and into the Himalayas to study with Tibetan lamas, including the Dalai Lama.
Today, Mónica's clients are being pulled or called to some kind of transformation, development, or evolution. They can feel something's not right. And as Mónica shares here, what she provides can help power people through temporary crises, or empower them to build long-lasting self-realizations to carry them through life.
Some Conversation Highlights
The MAIN QUESTION underlying my conversation with Mónica is, How are you responding to the voice that's calling you to transform into what it is you're meant to be?
Next Up!
Episode 98: Jeff Buehner and His Book, The Sultan's Seven Secrets
This series has become my Masterclass In Humanity. I'd love for you to join me and see what you take away from these conversations.
Learn more about The Book Leads Podcast.
The Ultimate Guide To Leaving Your Legacy
The Ultimate Guide To Leaving Your Legacy: 22 Powerful Lessons On Leading As A Soul Professional
This is the 3rd book in the series, and my chapter (Chapter 13) entitled A Legacy Before Death: How Stories and Everyday Moments Can Inspire Us to Live Our Best Life Today, builds on what I shared in my chapter in the 2nd book.
My Legacy chapter taps into the deep conversations and powerful storytelling that have come out of my podcast, The Book Leads: Impactful Books For Life & Leadership.
Every time I finished one of my episode conversations, I'm more motivated by seeing such humanity at work all around us.
It inspires me to galvanize my legacy every day, even in the little moments and interactions.
Some might not see legacy the way I do. (I still love you, Mike!)
Thank you to Camille L. Miller, MBA, Ph.D. ABD for the invitation to join the amazing roster of authors, to Laura Di Franco and her staff on the publishing side, and to all the great authors sharing their great insights in this book.
About The Book Leads Podcast
On The Book Leads podcast, I speak to specialists and experts across various industries and from varied backgrounds to learn about the book that made an impact and left an impression on their work, life, and leadership. In the course of my conversation I also learn about my guest's background, experience, and work they're carrying out today.
This series has become my Masterclass In Humanity. I'd love for you to join me and see what you take away from these conversations.
Learn more about The Book Leads and listen to past episodes:
About Me
I'm a Leadership Performance Coach and Consultant at coachitout.com.?In addition to coaching, and as you can see above, I enjoy writing, podcasting, and speaking about leadership. Specifically, I work with clients to realize what they're all about when it comes to (1) new positions they've been hired or promoted into; and (2) rediscovering what they want out of their leadership, development, and career.
My signature talks include Design Your Leadership! Nine Ways to Sharpen Your Leadership Brand In The Everyday, and Platinum Networking: Designing A Unique Experience For Others In A World Of Disconnection.
Please subscribe to my newsletter Last Week's Leadership Lessons, if you haven't already!
Reach out to me at [email protected].
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1 周Feels like we spend more time searching for the loud answers than sitting with the quiet ones..
I help professionals in Tech and Consulting (Microsoft, Amazon, Google etc... EY, Deloitte etc...) | Financial Advisor | Director
1 周Your compilation of last week's leadership lessons is both insightful and thought-provoking.
Leadership Performance Coach & Consultant | Leadership Design & Branding | Podcast Host??| Executive Advisor | Freelance Writer ?? | Speaker
1 周Directory of Editions: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/last-weeks-leadership-lessons-directory-articles-john-m-/?published=t ? #leadership?#leadershipcoaching?#news?#coaching?#life?#work?#communication?#goals #writing #podcast #authors #books #people #peoplepleasing #dreams #HighAchiever #unhappiness #grief #regrets #death #training #networking #failure #creativity #innoation #toleration #burnout #stress #anxiety #productivity #wisdom #legacy