Last Week's Leadership Lessons - July 24, 2023

Lessons From The Week of July 17, 2023

This Week:?1. Play / 2. A Better Person / 3. First Impressions

Reader Beware:?If you've been here before, you know the drill. Please feel free to jump right on ahead to the list of stories. If not, read from here on to understand what I'm trying to capture in the?Last Week's Leadership Lessons?series.

Talking about leadership can be repetitive and boring as hell!

We're always seeing and hearing the same old definitions, constructs, and formal tips related to and regurgitated about the leadership field, every so often punctuated by a perpetually rotating door of the latest industry buzzwords.

Even with all its great energy and intention, the themes and hopes of the leadership discipline, admittedly, can become a little monotonous -- without great stories and living examples to wake them up.

(Granted, I post about them as well. Guilty. So I guess maybe I mean "overkill." The?overkill?of your run-of-the-mill leadership ideas is what I'm trying to supplement -- and maybe unlock -- here through more unique takes and lenses.)

Hence why I launched this series.

The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically.

In this series, I want to capture themes and ideas for leadership -- while being particularly cautious that they not be necessarily conveyed as leadership lessons in the articles or sources I cite. I want to find examples that demonstrate more lessons about?HUMANITY?than the usual script of clichéd leadership building blocks.

The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically. And it's not like I'm forsaking one for the other; the former should inform and be the foundation for the latter. (That's just me. That's just my take.)

And to be clear, these valuable lessons, as I express them, aren't carved in stone. My translations aren't absolute. They can't be. It's not that simple. I think that's what gets us in trouble when it comes to learning (or not) about society and each other: Most issues are typically seen as black and white, left and right, up and down, one side or the other. But again, it's not that simple. Not everything can be. We force it to be that way.

In most instances -- not all, but in most -- there is room for interpretation and different ideas and views to be exchanged somewhere on the middle ground. More nuance exists than we typically see -- or will admit.

And in that nuance there's beauty. Because in that nuance we can learn from each other. And because of that nuance, each of my interpretations is just one option for consideration in that middle ground of learning.

All that being said, below are three articles I came across last week that have valuable lessons for leadership, purpose, and expression. In reading these pieces, you may find the lessons for leadership do not immediately stand out or reveal themselves -- and that's because lessons can range from the loud, obvious, and obnoxious to the subtle, unassuming, and hidden. In my breakdowns below I'll first cover the idea?In General?and then it's applicability?In Leadership.

...it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.

And although the source materials are not all leadership-related per se, they can all apply to leadership -- in terms of how you present yourself, navigate through life and work, and move, impact, inspire, and appreciate others.

Even if you feel you've already crafted your leadership to where you want it to be and the results clearly show it -- where others can get behind them and vouch for you -- it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.

Gestures, speeches, action, inaction, decisions, announcements, etc. They all tie in.

So bear with me. Some of them might seem like a stretch. But have some faith that I may be crazy -- but not?too?crazy.

This practice is merely effort to learn about ourselves, where we can improve, and how we can evolve.

Lessons are everywhere.

1. The Power of Play

In General

"All work and no play...", right? If we become too stiff, stringent, regimented, focused, structured, constant, pressured, or planned in our life and work, we don't have time to achieve any kind of decompression or recovery. Performance needs to be offset with that recovery. Constant work of any kind, whether it be at a business, in the workplace, or in a relationship, performs with a strained energy instead of an energy of enlightenment, discovery, and release.

If you don't step away and release some energy, your vision becomes stale. You're standing too close to see the big picture, whereas in stepping away and experiencing the joy of play you can get the creative juices flowing of design, living, possibilities, appreciation, gratitude, and re-commitment.

...there should be that ongoing reminder that people can step away as duties allow for that refresh. It really is a matter of health and mental health.

In Leadership

Workplace happy hours, (fun, real) team-building efforts, or even birthday cake in the breakroom a la Office Space (if you do get a piece of cake) -- these are just some basic examples that can help people loosen up and relax around each other. The playful activity, whether for the group or for the individual leader, can differ from one entity or person to the next, but decompressing and releasing, finding those moments of fun, can re-energize. It reminds everyone not to get so lost in the work, stress, and pressure of the everyday.

Every leader and group needs to find the right kind of play that is right and appropriate for their needs, but there should be that ongoing reminder that people can step away, as duties (should) allow, for that refresh. It really is a matter of health and mental health.

How do you incorporate play outside of your work and that of your group? What differences do you see between the before and after states of everyone participating?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

2. Being A Better Person

In General

'Cause what the world needs now...is better people. All of us can be better. It doesn't need to be some overwhelming, seismic shift in who we are. Even just incremental changes in how we are with both ourselves and others can send great ripple effects through our communities and society. (The power of Micro-Interactions with others came up in my conversation with Jim Frawley in Episode 45 of The Book Leads.)

And this doesn't mean we constantly have to be in assessment, journaling, or discovery mode. We don't always have to be "on," constantly working forward. Sometimes, we need to take time and...just be. This article just a reminder to be proactive. We all tend to have a default setting of being passive and reactive. This serves as a wake-up call and/or reminder to actively be who you want to be.

We have a right to take in the benefits and greatness from the world around us, but where does our responsibility rise up to put out there just as much as we get for ourselves? Hesha Abrams talks about the power of understanding rights vs. responsibility in Episode 61 of The Book Leads.

The days of leaving your humanity at the door and sticking strictly to the script of duties to carry out your role as a power-producing machine are over.

In Leadership

There is no threshold between your leadership role and who you are as a person outside of it. The days of leaving your humanity at the door and sticking strictly to the script of duties to carry out your role as a power-producing machine are over. The pandemic showed us the value each of us truly places on who we are and what is important to us.

Who someone is outside of their leadership role feeds their leadership performance and approach. Becoming a better person makes you a better leader. The more you improve yourself -- for yourself -- the more of a positive and impactful ripple effect will course throughout your environments. Knowing who you are and what you're capable of is powerful. It's your foundation. It keeps you steady, confident, and prepared for everything else, including your leadership duties.

How are you working to become a better person -- whatever that might mean for you? What steps are you taking to maintain that awareness and make it a proactive exercise?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

3. You Never Get A Second Chance...

In General

There is more leeway than the age-old adage would suggest. You can recover from a poor first impression. Being on the other end of that encounter, you yourself should allow some (reasonable) grace to others when their first impression doesn't quite fit the bill (whatever the bill might be).

We should know that not all of our, or anyone else's, value is going to shine through in just one encounter. It takes a while to build a more truthful and fruitful picture of who someone is. That being said, it never hurts to show your brighter colors in that initial meeting.

Even for the leader assigned a formal title, respect isn't guaranteed.

In Leadership

Even for the leader assigned a formal title, respect isn't guaranteed. A title, honestly, means nothing in most people's mind. It's the leader's attitude, demeanor, and delivery that matters most. That's what they're judged by.

So, regardless of having that formal title, a leader does need to make sure they're putting their best foot forward in that first encounter. That's when the trust starts being built. We're always building profiles of each other, each interaction shaping our view of each other, adding and subtracting detail (and points) to paint a fuller picture of who we are working with. Yes, that profile can change and improve over time, but that first impression sets quite the tone for the relationship going forward.

How intentional you are about what you show people when you first meet them? In those first moments, what behaviors do you exude to others to demonstrate your commitment to the working relationship and its results?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

Honorable Mention

Overcoming Job Search Depression

In Leadership

Leadership -- before leading anyone else, it's about leading yourself. The tools you would provide others you need to seek yourself. The support you would give to another person you should provide yourself in the form of some grace. There can be that need for self-talk to move yourself forward in general and to keep you afloat during the tough periods. I'll be having a conversation with Sabina Sulat soon on The Book Leads podcast to discuss her book, Agile Employment: Your Guide To Thriving While Out Of Work. Aside the work of the job search, there's the work of our mental health to focus on. Don't forget that. If you're out of work, how are you focusing on the possible strain that search for your next role is placing on your mental health?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

Honorable Mention

Do You Do Too Much For Others?

In Leadership

Each of us needs all the resources we can collect to operate in our lives. The constant grind of the work day and personal life can wear us down. We need to muster all the energy we have to meet our commitments. So we all need to make sure we're not giving too much away. That's especially true for leaders, where they need to be sure they're taking care of themselves and not taking care of others to the degree where they themselves become depleted because they're overextending themselves. Doing too much for others can be a form of toxic positivity -- trying to do the right thing to the extreme, where it leads to suffering in the form of unrealistic and unmet expectations. Although noble, it leads to loss. How are you tempering what you do for others, making sure you're not doing too much, where the results become adverse for you?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

That's it! That's the list for this week.

What other examples of leadership lessons – maybe even those that aren’t so apparent and obvious – do you come across in your everyday life and work?

What have you read lately that offers some insight on being human and navigating life -- and yes, by default, leadership.

Reach out to me?and let me know what you think of these. Please share your own if you've found articles or stories with great lessons or insights that can contribute to how we carry ourselves through our lives and work.

Network Conversations With...Moryah Jackson

A conversation I had this week brought up a great point:

It's important to convey the urgency in our actions. That connection to the urgency builds sustainability for maintaining what's important to us.

I was reminded of this in my conversation with Moryah Jackson , who serves as Senior Vice President of Development & Engagement at United Community Bank and with whom I'll be collaborating on a episode of?The Book Leads?in the coming weeks.

A pivotal moment in Moryah's life of service came when a high school teacher assigned her class a set number of community service hours to complete in his course. He asked that his students not merely carry out the usual stereotypical acts of volunteering but that they instead consider and bring what they're good at to that service.

And it's been a life and career of service for Moryah ever since, whether it was in her tenure in government, higher education, or community banking.

Moryah demonstrates that great leadership, achieved by first being a great human, transfers across all industries, services, and roles.

In this upcoming episode, Moryah and I cover the book?Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard?by Chip and Dan Heath.

Last 10 LWLL Posts...

July 17, 2023?- 1. Mid-Year Reset / 2. Self-Deception / 3. Psychology of Photography

July 10, 2023 - 1. Success / 2. Expectations / 3. Extreme Ownership

July 3, 2023?- 1. Following / 2. Perfectionism / 3. Intro-/Extro-version

June 26, 2023?- 1. Living / 2. Toxic Loyalty / 3. Psychological Safety

June 20, 2023?- Ivy League / Work-Life Balance / Conversations

June 12, 2023?- Grief / Hard Moments / Community

June 5, 2023?- Commitment / Beginner's Mind / Biases

May 30, 2023?- Devastation / Disagreements / Silence

May 22, 2023?- Choices / Toxic People / Anger

May 15, 2023?- Character / Boredom / Luck

Full Directory of Past Posts

What Do YOU Think?

Miranda Lambert v. Selfie Fan: In general, how do you balance both what you expect of others and what they expect of you? How are you able to view and understand -- or at least acknowledge -- both sides?

Follow-Up On Past Editions

Here are some follow-up articles on topics covered in previous editions.

There are so many ways, perspectives, and lenses through which to see a topic that can impact our behavior and leadership.

• Article?on?Debates (April 24, 2023 - Storytelling / Arguments / Saying "No"s)
• Article?on?Boosting Your Confidence?(February 13, 2023?- Self-Belief / Leadership Branding / Inner Child)
• Article?on?Be Dumb, Not Smart (June 5, 2023 - Commitment / Beginner's Mind / Biases)

Book Collaboration: Launched!

I contributed my voice and a chapter to this amazing collaborative anthology, which?launched July 11th!

In my chapter, I break down what inspired my signature talk,?Platinum Networking: Designing A Unique Experience For Others In A World Of Disconnection,?digging into my story -- and that of and with my parents -- to understand what's behind the way I interact with those in my network, serving them as if they were my clients.

Check out this podcast appearance I recently made leading up to the launch with book publisher?Laura Di Franco?and fellow co-author?Heidi Metro!

The days of traditional networking, where we memorize our elevator pitch and repeat it to everyone we encounter, hoping to gain something only for ourselves, are over.

Our network should be at the top of our client list. We need to elevate their work and reputation as much as our own to build a solid and effective ecosystem of connections, relationships, and success.

Latest Episode of The Book Leads

The Book Leads – Episode 62: Hesha Abrams & her book, Holding The Calm: The Secret To Resolving Conflict And Defusing Tension

Hesha has a storied career in corporate and international mediation, shifting from a practicing attorney before that. Walking me through her career and book, we talk about the power and role of?connection?when it comes to mediation and understanding each other.

She gets conflict. She gets what mediation is and what it can do. She's a glass-full kind of mediator but without any Pollyannish Toxic Positivity getting in the way. She sees the possibilities but calls it like she sees it. That balance contributes to her success.

Episode Highlights

• Having seen every variety and level of conflict in her work around the world, she’s a self-described laboratory of human conflict.
• The impact having a give-a-darn meter can have on a leader’s followers.
• Why validation is the WD-40 of the universe
• Albert Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

The MAIN QUESTION underlying my conversation with Hesha is, For the all the rights given to you in this world, do you understand your responsibility to give back?

I'm always looking for a good read full of great and impactful lessons.

Here is the?list of books?I've gotten into in 2023. Reach out if you'd like to come on?The Book Leads?or if you know anyone you'd recommend for that conversation.

What are you reading these days?

About The Book Leads

On?The Book Leads?podcast, I speak to specialists and experts across various industries and from varied backgrounds to learn about the book that made an impact and left an impression on their work, life, and leadership. In the course of my conversation I also learn about my guest's background, experience, and work they're carrying out today.?

Learn more about The Book Leads and listen to past episodes:

• Watch?on?YouTube
• Listen?on?Spotify
• Listen?on?Google Podcasts
• Listen?on?Apple Podcasts
• Read?About The Book Leads?–?Blog Post

About Me

I'm a Leadership Performance Coach and Consultant at?coachitout.com.?In addition to coaching, and as you can see above, I enjoy writing, podcasting, and speaking about leadership. Specifically, I work with clients to realize what they're all about when it comes to (1) new positions they've been hired or promoted into; and (2) rediscovering what they want out of their leadership, development, and career.

My signature talks include?Design Your Leadership! Nine Ways to Sharpen Your Leadership Brand In The Everyday, and?Platinum Networking: Designing A Unique Experience For Others In A World Of Disconnection.

Reach out to me [email protected].