Last Week's Leadership Lessons - July 10, 2023

This Week:?1. Mentoring / 2. Expectations / 3. Extreme Ownership

Reader Beware:?If you've been here before, you know the drill. Please feel free to jump right on ahead to the list of stories. If not, read from here on to understand what I'm trying to capture in the?Last Week's Leadership Lessons?series.

Talking about leadership can be repetitive and boring as hell!

We're always seeing and hearing the same old definitions, constructs, and formal tips related to and regurgitated about the leadership field, every so often punctuated by a perpetually rotating door of the latest industry buzzwords.

Even with all its great energy and intention, the themes and hopes of the leadership discipline, admittedly, can become a little monotonous -- without great stories and living examples to wake them up.

(Granted, I post about them as well. Guilty. So I guess maybe I mean "overkill." The?overkill?of your run-of-the-mill leadership ideas is what I'm trying to supplement -- and maybe unlock -- here through more unique takes and lenses.)

Hence why I launched this series.

The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically.

In this series, I want to capture themes and ideas for leadership -- while being particularly cautious that they not be necessarily conveyed as leadership lessons in the articles or sources I cite. I want to find examples that demonstrate more lessons about?HUMANITY?than the usual script of clichéd leadership building blocks.

The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically. And it's not like I'm forsaking one for the other; the former should inform and be the foundation for the latter. (That's just me. That's just my take.)

And to be clear, these valuable lessons, as I express them, aren't carved in stone. My translations aren't absolute. They can't be. It's not that simple. I think that's what gets us in trouble when it comes to learning (or not) about society and each other: Most issues are typically seen as black and white, left and right, up and down, one side or the other. But again, it's not that simple. Not everything can be. We force it to be that way.

In most instances -- not all, but in most -- there is room for interpretation and different ideas and views to be exchanged somewhere on the middle ground. More nuance exists than we typically see -- or will admit.

And in that nuance there's beauty. Because in that nuance we can learn from each other. And because of that nuance, each of my interpretations is just one option for consideration in that middle ground of learning.

All that being said, below are three articles I came across last week that have valuable lessons for leadership, purpose, and expression. In reading these pieces, you may find the lessons for leadership do not immediately stand out or reveal themselves -- and that's because lessons can range from the loud, obvious, and obnoxious to the subtle, unassuming, and hidden. In my breakdowns below I'll first cover the idea?In General?and then it's applicability?In Leadership.

...it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.

And although the source materials are not all leadership-related per se, they can all apply to leadership -- in terms of how you present yourself, navigate through life and work, and move, impact, inspire, and appreciate others.

Even if you feel you've already crafted your leadership to where you want it to be and the results clearly show it -- where others can get behind them and vouch for you -- it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.

Gestures, speeches, action, inaction, decisions, announcements, etc. They all tie in.

So bear with me. Some of them might seem like a stretch. But have some faith that I may be crazy -- but not?too?crazy.

This practice is merely effort to learn about ourselves, where we can improve, and how we can evolve.

Lessons are everywhere.

1. The Power Of Mentoring

In General

Mentorship helps all parties taking part. It's not a one-sided connection. Both parties can bring and takeaway as much value as they want. Each side benefits from what they learn from the other side - newfound information, lessons, connections, skills, ideas, and prompts -- while also reciprocating in those same forms.

Everyone has something they can provide in some way, shape, or form. Even the uncertainty in questions can provide direction for the conversation to seek out new considerations, opportunities, and clarity.

We tend to chase down costly degrees and certificates without first taking into account the vast pool of experience we have operating around us.

In Leadership

Leadership is about setting the stage in and ripple effect into the environment in various ways. It's about highlighting tools, considering everything -- and everyone -- that is available to amplify individual and collective knowledge and wisdom. And that includes conveying the importance of mentorship and its benefits to both parties involved.

We tend to chase down costly degrees and certificates without first taking into account the vast pool of experience we have operating around us. So many companies and leaders shoot from the hip to purchase outside development programs while ignoring the vast wealth of real-world experience that's already cultivated in-house or in the local network.

Who do you mentor? Who's your mentor? What have you gained from both roles? Are you seeking out the partner you need? If not, why not?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

2. Expectations & Resentment

In General

In an ideal world, we'd always want to see things go our way. We'd desire not only the end result but the fashion in which it is met to match our expected script. But forget the ideal world. We want all that now, don't we? And when it doesn't happen, some people may get wrapped up in resentment and bitterness.

Some of us are so tied to our hopes and goals, we get disappointed when they don't materialize. But we need to temper those expectations, making them reachable and realistic. We also can't fall back on feeling ill-will or resentment when they don't happen. Sometimes our need for the perfect plan can lure us into acting in that negative manner.

Thinking again and seeing the other side, and not taking things personally, provides clarity for those developing their leadership.

In Leadership

In leadership development, we need to step into the other sides' shoes. That's a major component of leadership -- stepping outside of oneself to see the environment from the vantage point of all parties involved. Thinking again and seeing the other side, and not taking things personally, provides clarity for those developing their leadership.

Resentment leads to more adverse results, introducing toxicity into the relationship, environment, and results, leaving you ten steps behind where you would have been if you instead recognized your expectations weren't being met and moved forward from that point as best as possible. It's not that you have to forfeit your needs; you just need to realize how many sets of expectations, players, and paths forward really do exist.

Achieving a desired result is ABSOLUTELY important, but detaching from it from the get-go, from that mold of strict results, can free up a leader of stress, tension, and disappointment along the way.

Where do you hold on to expectations so much they may intoxicate a relationship or environment? How might you be able to learn to compromise to see a different path forward? What is really lost through reasonable compromise?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

3. Taking Extreme Ownership

In General

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

―?Maya Angelou

It's important to demonstrate you're willing to show up, roll up your sleeves, and get things done -- regardless of what level of the hierarchy you usually operate in. Show people you're in it. Show people you're committed. Show people you have skin in the game, too. Show them you'll be side-by-side with them.

Think about when people have shown up for you -- when it wasn't just lip service, but they actually followed through. Remember that feeling of trust, comfort, respect, and readiness to reciprocate you might have felt. Talk is cheap. Show people what you're REALLY willing to do.

Leaders are more pivotal in moving forward than they know. They don't just impact a moment. They mold a mindset.

In Leadership

Short of some underhanded, two-timing betrayal in the group they lead, everything is a leader's responsibility. They are the ones facilitating the work of the machine. They're the ones who should be getting the most out of those they lead, providing resources, asking questions, and fostering a desired environment.

They do that through their words, ideas, values, and behaviors. They live, work, and espouse those values to the point others pick up on it and operate in that same manner. Others recognize what the expectations are and rise to meet them. Leaders are more pivotal in moving forward than they know. They don't just impact a moment. They mold a mindset.

Look for and set great examples of Extreme Ownership.

Plain, Simple, & Clichéd: How do you demonstrate to others that you don't just talk the talk but also walk the walk? That you're in it with them?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

Honorable Mention

Management vs. Leadership

In Leadership

Short and sweet: Remember what it means to carry out the work in the most efficient, organized, and effective manner possible on the technical side (management) and what it takes to motivate people and inspire them to want more for both others and themselves (leadership). Good management allows you to get the technical side of the work done but not necessarily drive anyone to want better for the group. Good leadership allows you to guide people with heart but doesn't guarantee the work gets done the right way. They need to be balanced. Having one without the other will get you nowhere. How do you balance your understanding of each management and leadership?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

Honorable Mention

The Power Of Specialization

In Leadership

Yes, this is a business article, but there are lessons here to remind each of us to harness and understand where we can sharpen ourselves. Too often, we only try to match skills others have without finding the unique, specialized abilities we're capable of sharing. Get creative! What are you good at, better at than anyone else? What is one unique proposition you have to share with others that is hard to find anywhere else?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

That's it! That's the list for this week.

What other examples of leadership lessons – maybe even those that aren’t so apparent and obvious – do you come across in your everyday life and work?

What have you read lately that offers some insight on being human and navigating life -- and yes, by default, leadership.

Reach out to me?and let me know what you think of these. Please share your own if you've found articles or stories with great lessons or insights that can contribute to how we carry ourselves through our lives and work.

Network Conversations With...Corinne Coppola

A conversation I had this week brought up a great reminder:

Things -- especially our future and fate -- come to each of us at different times and in different forms.

I was reminded of this in my conversation with Trauma Recovery Coach Corinne Coppola , with whom I'll be collaborating on a episode of?The Book Leads?in the coming weeks. She called me from the road, where she's been on a cross-country journey, working remotely in her travels and seeking out something.

I could relate to what Corinne was sharing. I know about that ongoing search for something. Whether that refers to life or work or both, who knows? It's not that we're not grateful for what we have or don't understand it's worth. But when you feel that call, you can't help but look.

Those of us who are drawn in that manner know we just need to keep searching and learning. We're not quite sure what it is, but we've learned that the process, which is founded on curiosity, flies in the face of uncertainty, and is filled with discovery, is rewarding in and of itself.

I was introduced to Corinne by Erin Harrigan , whom I had on Episode 55 of the series when we covered her book, Pursuing Success God's Way: A Practical Guide to Hustle with Heart.

Last 10 LWLL Posts...

July 3, 2023?- 1. Following / 2. Perfectionism / 3. Intro-/Extro-version

June 26, 2023?- 1. Living / 2. Toxic Loyalty / 3. Psychological Safety

June 20, 2023?- Ivy League / Work-Life Balance / Conversations

June 12, 2023?- Grief / Hard Moments / Community

June 5, 2023?- Commitment / Beginner's Mind / Biases

May 30, 2023?- Devastation / Disagreements / Silence

May 22, 2023?- Choices / Toxic People / Anger

May 15, 2023?- Character / Boredom / Luck

May 8, 2023?- Addiction / Awe / Desire

May 1, 2023?- Imposter Syndrome / Frustration / Self-Love

Full Directory of Past Posts

Follow-Up On Past Editions

Here are some follow-up articles on topics covered in previous editions.

• Article?on?Success (April 17, 2023?- Success / Toxic Forgiveness / Obstacles)
• Article?on?Emotional Intelligence?(January 30, 2023?- Legacy / Emotional Intelligence / Stupidity)
• Article?on?Communication?(February 20, 2023?- Communication / Doing Just Enough / Self-Compassion)

Coming This Week!

I'll be contributing my voice to this upcoming collaborative anthology, which launches July 11th!

In my chapter, I break down what inspired my signature talk,?Platinum Networking: Designing A Unique Experience For Others In A World Of Disconnection,?digging into my story -- and that of and with my parents -- to understand what's behind the way I interact with those in my network, serving them as if they were my clients.

Check out this podcast appearance I recently made leading up to the launch with book publisher?Laura Di Franco?and fellow co-author?Heidi Metro!

The days of traditional networking, where we memorize our elevator pitch and repeat it to everyone we encounter, hoping to gain something only for ourselves, are over.

Our network should be at the top of our client list. We need to elevate their work and reputation as much as our own to build a solid and effective ecosystem of connections, relationships, and success.

Latest Episodes of The Book Leads

Episode 59:?Danielle Perlin-Good?and her chapter in the book, GODDESS: 22 Spiritual Women Share Their Stories of Healing, Growth & Transformation

Danielle is a Soul-Aligned Ghostwriter and an award-winning best-selling author. Even though some people know what they want to do from an insanely young age, it doesn’t mean the journey to make it happen is either straightforward or easy.

Danielle is another example of that kind of path, with major lessons learned along the way.

She talks about being a recovering people pleaser, being intentional about who you surround yourself with, and the power of fulfillment in one’s life (especially as a parent).

The MAIN QUESTION that underlies my conversation with Danielle is, What could you accomplish if you started thinking about your own needs, wants, and desires?

Episode 60:?Patricia Ortega, MS?& Building A Story Brand Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen

In this episode, two coaches and podcast hosts discuss branding and building it up before the audience is even there.

The tough challenges Patricia, a Career Transition Coach and host of the podcast The Uncommon Career, had to overcome early in her life set the stage and lay the foundation for the work she’s doing today helping people recognize their value and tell that story to the world.

The MAIN QUESTION that underlies my conversation with Patricia is, How much do we understand our story to then communicate our value to others?

I'm always looking for a good read full of great and impactful lessons.

Here is the?list of books?I've gotten into in 2023. Reach out if you'd like to come on?The Book Leads?or if you know anyone you'd recommend for that conversation.

What are you reading these days?

About The Book Leads

On?The Book Leads?podcast, I speak to specialists and experts across various industries and from varied backgrounds to learn about the book that made an impact and left an impression on their work, life, and leadership. In the course of my conversation I also learn about my guest's background, experience, and work they're carrying out today.?

Learn more about The Book Leads and listen to past episodes:

• Watch?on?YouTube
• Listen?on?Spotify
• Listen?on?Google Podcasts
• Listen?on?Apple Podcasts
• Read?About The Book Leads?–?Blog Post

About Me

I'm a Leadership Performance Coach and Consultant at coachitout.com.?In addition to coaching, and as you can see above, I enjoy writing, podcasting, and speaking about leadership. Specifically, I work with clients to realize what they're all about when it comes to (1) new positions they've been hired or promoted into; and (2) rediscovering what they want out of their leadership, development, and career.

My signature talks include?Design Your Leadership! Nine Ways to Sharpen Your Leadership Brand In The Everyday, and?Platinum Networking: Designing A Unique Experience For Others In A World Of Disconnection.

Reach out to me [email protected].