Last Week's Leadership Lessons - April 24, 2023

Lessons From The Week of April 17, 2023

This Week:?Storytelling / Arguments / Saying "No"

Reader Beware:?If you were here last time, you know the drill. Please feel free to jump right on ahead to the list of stories. If not, read from here on to understand what I'm trying to capture in this series.

Talking about leadership can be repetitive and boring as hell!

We're always seeing and hearing the same old definitions, constructs, and formal tips related to and regurgitated about the leadership field, every so often punctuated by a perpetually rotating door of the latest industry buzzwords.

Even with all its great energy and intention, the themes and hopes of the leadership discipline, admittedly, can become a little monotonous -- without great stories and living examples to wake them up.

(Granted, I post about them as well. Guilty. So I guess maybe I mean "overkill." The?overkill?of your run-of-the-mill leadership ideas is what I'm trying to supplement -- and maybe unlock -- here through more unique takes and lenses.)

Hence why I launched this series.

In this series, I want to capture themes and ideas for leadership -- while being particularly cautious that they not be necessarily conveyed as leadership lessons in the articles or sources I cite. I want to find examples that demonstrate more lessons about HUMANITY than the usual script of clichéd leadership building blocks.

The way the world is going, I think it's essential to think about and take in more lessons on humanity in general than leadership specifically. And it's not like I'm forsaking one for the other; the former should inform and be the foundation for the latter. (That's just me. That's just my take.)

And to be clear, these valuable lessons, as I express them, aren't carved in stone. My translations aren't absolute. They can't be. It's not that simple. I think that's what gets us in trouble when it comes to learning (or not) about society and each other: Most issues are typically seen as black and white, left and right, up and down, one side or the other. But again, it's not that simple. Not everything can be. We force it to be that way. In most instances -- not all, but in most -- there is room for interpretation and different ideas and views to be exchanged somewhere on the middle ground. More nuance exists than we typically see -- or will admit.

And in that nuance there's beauty. Because in that nuance we can learn from each other. And because of that nuance, each of my interpretations is just one option for consideration in that middle ground of learning.

All that being said, below are three stories I came across last week that have valuable lessons for leadership, purpose, and expression. In reading these articles, you may find the lessons for leadership may not immediately stand out or reveal themselves -- and that's because lessons can range from the loud, obvious, and obnoxious to the subtle, unassuming, and hidden.

And although the source materials are not all leadership-related per se, they can all apply to leadership -- in terms of how you present yourself, navigate through life and work, and move, impact, inspire, and appreciate others.

Even if you feel you've already crafted your leadership to where you want it to be and the results clearly show it -- where others can get behind them and vouch for you -- it never hurts to continue learning from your fellow human beings, whether you know them or not.

Gestures, speeches, action, inaction, decisions, announcements, etc. They all tie in.

So bear with me. Some of them might seem like a stretch. But have some faith that I may be crazy -- but not?too?crazy.

This practice is merely effort to learn about ourselves, where we can improve, and how we can evolve.

Lessons are everywhere.

1. What's Your Story?

If there's anything the COVID-19 pandemic has shown us, it's that we're horrible at storytelling. Okay, not all of us. Some people really are naturals at telling stories, captivating others with their words, emotions, pauses, gestures, urgency -- all of those tools and more. The rest of us -- we need some practice. I bring up the pandemic because it was a trigger for vulnerability. Around the globe and throughout society, we never knew what was going to happen next. Because of that heightened awareness, at that point, I think most of us might have thought, Why hold back on anything, especially our own story, if the future is neither guaranteed nor predictable? So, with so much control we relinquished, people became more vulnerable, opening up a bit more to others, sharing more of themselves. And I wonder, Where was all this great honesty and insight before?

Our stories, our backgrounds, and who we are -- what makes us unique -- are what we need to share more of. That's what makes each of us especially powerful.

Is your leadership just a title you're looking to fulfill duties for, or do you really want to make a difference and leave your environment and its people better than you found them?

Leadership Lesson:?As a leader, what's your story? What are the experiences, whether good or bad, that have lead you to this point and which will push you further beyond today? What do you stand for? Is your leadership just a title (if you have one) for which you're merely fulfilling duties, or do you really want to make a difference and leave your environment and its people better than you found them?

Leaders seem to suffer when not sharing their story. Some don't know their stories while others know theirs but choose not to share.

Your story is at the core of who you are. Beyond that, they're the threads of common humanity, intersecting, relating, and enhancing experiences, so we need to consider how much we can share. When we don't share our stories, everything seems transactional. It becomes more about responsibilities and checkboxes than what's important and why. You don't have to go all-out with every detail since your birth. But what do you share with others? What do you want to share? Do you fully express the scope of your narrative, or do you let others guess at its gaps?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

2. For Argument's Sake

There is power in an argument. Like anything else, what's behind an argument might be sound and understandable, while the expression of it, the facade and what people see, lacks consideration and thought. It's not the message but the delivery that stifles communication and puts others off. Disagreement is good. Tension is good. Their verbalization is healthy. But it's how we carry them out and what words and emotions we use that can either move us forward (after a bit of discomfort) or derail a relationship if we let emotion get the best of us. It's not what you say but how you say it that sets the tone for how things move forward -- or don't.

Most often, what leads to escalated arguments is that one side, the other, or both don't believe there's space for their needs to be at least heard.

Leadership Lesson: Are you trying to keep the peace in your group by suppressing any emotions or concerns you feel might derail what your group is trying to accomplish? Or do you allow and facilitate disagreements, allowing discontent and disconnection to bubble up to the surface under a watchful eye? Whether it's for your own leadership or those who are in your charge, it's important to proactively outline how disagreements will be aired before emotional reactions rear their ugly heads. Again, there's validity to differences between people. Most often, what leads to escalated arguments is that one side, the other, or both don't believe there's space for their needs to be at least heard. How are you pre-empting that misperception?

Check Out The Article?HERE!

3. Yes. "No."

We are not good at saying "No." We want to be team players. We want to help others. So much so we go along to get along. What people think is everything, right? Not really. Not if you're not crazy about what it is you're agreeing to. This is about focusing your energy where you want it to be, not utilizing it and your other resources for situations that don't really align with who you are and what you desire. This doesn't mean go out and find reasons to say "no" to others. It just means you should listen to your gut. It never lies. Not listening is costing you more than you know.

Saying "No" can be a sign of self-awareness, transparency, honesty, and self-care. Use it accordingly.

Leadership Lesson:?Leaders don't need to burn out. They don't need to take on all the work, or even the lion's share. They don't have to give everything they have away, leaving only small traces of time, energy, and consideration for themselves. It is noble to want to come through for everyone. It really is. But giving too much away might come back to burn us in the end. It might lead to, like I mentioned before, burnout from taking on so much beyond our mental and energy capacity. It might also lead to our reputation suffering because, since we've taken on too much, the quality of our work suffers because our focus is spread across way too much work, being thinned out and leading to subpar results. Saying "No" can be a sign of self-awareness, transparency, honesty, and self-care. Use it accordingly.

Check Out The Article?HERE!

Honorable Mention

Learn From Your Mistakes

Leadership Lesson: Where leaders get into most trouble on their paths is when they don't assess their steps, especially their missteps -- their mistakes. In leadership, as in life, the best lessons can be gleaned off of what didn't go right. Leadership, Personal, and Professional life are all about moving forward, getting better, regardless of the pace of that growth. It's about assessment and reassessment, changes in thoughts, mindset, and attitude, shifts in tactics, strategies, and direction. In your leadership, how often do you stop to look back and take stock of what hasn't worked out in an effort to correct course moving forward.

Check Out The Article?HERE!

Honorable Mention

Learning & Development Quotes

Leadership Lesson: Stories are important. They're powerful. They inspire, motivate, and connect. (I'm a big fan, per #1 above.) But we don't even need a full story to take in great lessons. Quotes are just as powerful. The words used, the conviction infused, and the resonating lesson can leave quite the impression on us. Here are some quotes from across history and the spectrum of cultures. Which ones resonate with you, maybe opening your eyes to new ways of looking at things? What are your go-to quotes, those that have stood the test of time and have lead you through life, work, and leadership? Just a few words -- that's all it takes to make all the difference in the world.

Check Out The Article?HERE!

That's it! That's the list for this week.

What other examples of leadership lessons – maybe even those that aren’t so apparent and obvious – do you come across in your everyday life and work?

What have you read lately that offers some insight on being human and navigating life -- and yes, by default, leadership.

Reach out to me?and let me know what you think of these. Please share your own if you've found articles or stories with great lessons or insights that can contribute to how we carry ourselves through our lives and work.

Last 10 LWLL Posts...

April 17, 2023 - Success / Toxic Forgiveness / Obstacles

April 10, 2023?- Self-Discipline / Wandering Minds / Power of Creativity

April 3, 2023?- Apologizing / Preparation / Bad Habits

March 27, 2023?- Procrastination / Confident Introversion / Thought Leadership

March 13, 2023?- Listen Up! / Anxiety Is Old News / Manhood Stuff

March 6, 2023?- Slow Down! / Hope & Happiness / Primitive Empathy

February 27, 2023?- Fear of Public Speaking / Being Interrupted / Sensitivity

February 20, 2023?- Communication / Doing Just Enough / Self-Compassion

February 13, 2023?- Self-Belief / Leadership Branding / Inner Child

February 6, 2023?- Happiness / Facades / Wisdom

Full Directory of Past Posts