The last effing homeworking tips blog you will ever have to read

Here's what I don't get about all the Covid-19 advice people want to blog at me: how did they become expert in this? We've all been dealing with this thing for exactly the same amount of time. None of us are doing anything that feels anything like spinning a basketball on top of our fingers like some kind of whizz kid. We're all just getting by.

So that's what this blog is about. Getting by. Here are some real world things that I have been doing that I hope will validate whatever you're doing. This isn't the kind of stuff you're going to read in Harvard Business Review. This is the real stuff that is going on in people's homes, whether they're talking about it or not.

Truth #1: I watched a full RuPaul's Drag Race episode at lunchtime today.

Yas honey, I did. Last week, I worked through every lunchtime except one. And I wondered why, on Thursday night, I was sat there telling my partner I felt like I might be approaching burnout. Because, you see, the rules don't apply to ME. I don't need breaks. I don't need boundaries. I'm a soldier! I'm more robust than everyone else. Sound familiar? Well, it's nonsense. So this week I booked breaks into my diary. Yesterday, I skipped it. Today, I thought, I don't want to skip it – but unless I put in a task, I'll be tempted to. So I found myself a task. A sweary, sequinned, drama-packed task that gave my brain a rest and sent me back to work for the afternoon better off, with actual creative energy.

Truth #2: I actually hope that my 4-year-old will swan in to my Zoom calls.

I'm in a new job. I'm in my probation period. So I was pretty nervous about looking 'unprofessional'.

But then the schools shut and one by one, my colleagues were leapt on by toddlers, had Lego appear in shot – and it wasn't just parent stuff; people had dogs barking or trouserless housemates wander behind them. (Yeah, that happened.) And I thought to myself, by trying to create some sort of pristine environment to call in from, am I pressuring my colleagues to do the same, to not be themselves? So the office door is open now, and my free range kid makes me look like what I am: a creative director who is also a mom. And who can't get enough of Joe Exotic's wardrobe.

Truth #3: I'm not rocking a side hustle. I'm not even doing proper skin care.

Me, day one of lockdown: "Wow, look at all of this time I'm saving not having to commute. I will use it to exfoliate, do yoga and read books."

Me, day three of lockdown: Sleeping in my makeup with my iPad still in my hand, open to an eBay search for "motorhead tshirt <￡6"

Me, day one of Joe Wicks: "This is amazing, I feel so alive, I will do this every day."

Me, the next day: "Holy moly, I can't even walk up the stairs, I think I need a hip replacement."

Let's face it, a side hustle is not going to help me right now. I'll tell you what I did do though: I'm doing an online course taught by an FBI hostage negotiator. I can do it in quick 15-minute classes after work and nothing puts a bookend on the working day like trying to figure out how you'd get three hostages out of Chase Bank with a gunman in there. Try worrying about tomorrow's briefing with that for a comparison! And then I have an evening, and a sleep (not always a great one) and I'm better off with my team in the morning because I took a break. They need me energetic and supporting them, not exhausted and dragging. So your kindness to self does actually help other people, too.

Truth #4: Most people aren't at their best right now and that includes me.

I like to pressure myself to be Wonder Woman but I need to accept that it's not an attainable standard right now. Even if I am trying to impress new colleagues.

Here I am trying to work. I have my laptop open trying to respond to a never-ending stream of emails, because no one can pop to my desk anymore. A shopping list next to me that I'm struggling to get a delivery slot for. And a child who has decided that my lap is the only place in the universe she can have a nap, after refusing one for weeks. Am I at my most productive? It's safe to answer that one with a NO.

On the other hand, can I be trusted to make sure my company get its hours and its outcomes from me? Yes. In fact, I might be a more effective leader than ever, because having to blend a structured approach with compassion plays to my strengths. Does my family get fed one way or another? Yes, it's just more of a stress than normal. Did I get my daughter duly educated with a national curriculum adherent programme every day? No, but we do dress up in sequinned outfits on Friday nights, cancel bedtime, and watch full length concerts so that she can learn the Tao of the Diva. We've done Madonna, Kylie, Beyoncé, Cher and Annie Lennox and if that's not an education of some kind, I don't know what is.

Which brings me to the reason why this could just be the last one of these blogs you need to read. Because no Huffington Post top tips article was going to tell me all the personal realities I just wandered through with you here. No one else is more expert in what you should do about this lockdown than you are. You have to suss it out over time based on what's in front of you. And give yourself space to adjust. You already know what the answer is, because you had to start figuring it out several weeks ago. You're the only expert on you.

One last steer from me, though.

Go ahead, honey. Sleep in your makeup if you feel like it.

xx

Heather DeLand - Executive Creative Director, AIA Worldwide