Is there a language for love?

To answer the question, we first need to understand what language is. Philosophically, language is one of the biggest phenomenon that separates humans from other beings.

This is because it carries symbols, meanings, and indications, allowing individuals to constantly communicate and develop(...)

Here, I would like to reference the philosopher and language theorist Jacques Derrida.

According to Derrida, language is relative, implying that it adapts to its surrounding environment. The process of interpretation influences its evolution, particularly as interactions between individuals and cultures become more complex. If we simplify the main point, it's this: language is all about interpreting. (Cf. Derrida on language)

Now, let's ask: can we interpret love in the same way?

If we think about language as Jacques Derrida does, then love is just another interpretation (...) So, can we really say love has its own language? And are there fixed rules to how love is expressed?

Love has many languages!

As I explore various writings about the language of love, I've come across many sources, especially a book by a researcher named Gary Chapman.

According to his research, each person possesses a language of love, and cultures also nurture individuals in one or more of these languages, based on religious references, customs, and traditions, as well as their openness to questioning the language of love among individuals.

Gary presents five love languages:

1: Words of affirmation

• It involves verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement. People who value words of affirmation thrive on compliments, words of encouragement, and verbal expressions of love and admiration.

2: Quality time

• It refers to giving someone your undivided attention and focusing on meaningful interactions. It involves spending time together, engaging in activities, and having meaningful conversations without distractions.

3: Gifts

• It involves the giving and receiving of tangible items as symbols of love, care, and thoughtfulness. For individuals who value gifts as their primary love language, the act of giving and receiving presents holds deep emotional significance.

4: Acts of service

• it involves performing helpful or thoughtful actions to demonstrate love and care for another person. This can include tasks such as cooking a meal, doing household chores, running errands, or providing assistance in practical ways.

5: Physical touch

• It encompasses physical affection and intimacy, such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, or other forms of physical contact. For individuals with this love language, physical touch is a powerful way to express and experience love, comfort, and closeness.

However, I wasn't fully convinced, so I delved deeper in search of something different, notably because my philosophical orientation makes me believe more in the relativity of language itself (...) It's challenging to build facts in linguistic discourse when we know our language itself is subject to interpretation.

Love is a language in itself!

To understand more, I explored spiritual and eastern philosophies to grasp the concept of love itself.

My surprise was somewhat strong. I discovered that love has no language fundamentally; it's a form of being and it goes beyond words or actions. Language comes after love, not the inverse (...) In essence of these philosophies, the language of love resembles the language of the universe.

If we ask, "What is the language of the universe?" we might say mathematics or physics, but that's not entirely accurate. The universe transcends the notion of having a language.

The summary up to now is that it will be difficult to define love from a philosophical perspective. It will also be impossible to establish fixed rules in the language of love because love is a comprehensive phenomenon, and everything comprehensive is difficult to break down into small parts. Even attempting this breakdown might lead us into interpretational errors that most observers of the language of love have fallen into.

Then, what's the solution?

Social observations

To free myself from the theoretical contradictions of research, I tried to study the issue of the language of love from a different perspective.

I found social observation between individuals to be the best approach. My initial question was simple: How do people express love precisely?

How do parents show love to their children? How do friends express love among themselves? How does a country show love for its citizens? And how do citizens express love for their country? Is there a language they use, or is it actions, or is love fundamentally inexpressible, merely an action without an expressive form?

To answer these questions, I looked for stories and cases that might shed light on the problem of expressing love.

When a cake celebrates love...

One attempt was made by a well-known company in Morocco with a product called Merendina, a chocolate cake loved by Moroccans, especially children and teenagers, due to its low cost and good quality...

The company's idea was to promote the language of love by writing expressions on the cake package, like "I love you", "I'm always thinking of you", "I can't forget you" etc.

When school students or any other person will buy the cake, they find a beautiful expression of love that they can give to their friends, mothers, fathers, or teachers... Words of love can spread joy and encourage people to trust each other through a cake, especially in an educational environment aimed at fostering values.

However, this didn’t happen. Most families rejected the company's idea because it contradicted Moroccan societal values.

But is this true? Isn't love a value in Moroccan society? And how does an individual learn to express love in this social context?

When love is abnormal...

Another story related to the topic is a movie titled "The Bitter Orange". The film's idea was also to explore the limits of love between a man and a woman in a conservative society...

The story was that a young girl fell in love with a policeman, always seeing him but unable to express her love to him... because she was shy, and it was not acceptable in society for a girl to express her love so explicitly and boldly...

The end of the story is sad because the young girl's hesitation and inability to express her feelings led directly to the deterioration of her personality, and eventually she became insane.

Last words

We can't overlook the problem of love in its language. The most important thing, in my opinion, is whether love exists at all. Is there an education for love or not? Because no matter the circumstances, and regardless of cultural and social conditions, humans are naturally loving beings.

If one learns how to discover the energy of love within, they'll find the appropriate language to express love within themselves. If they don't learn, they'll surely find themselves facing a question: Is there a language for Love?

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