The Language Disconnect

During my recent vacation in Tamil Nadu, all I prominently learnt was one Tamil word Solange (I understand). My knowledge of the Tamil language is restricted to a handful of words Tair Sadham, Sapdiya, Ipde Irkeya, Nalla Irkeya, Thokku and Meen because of a very dear Tamilian friend. Anything said beyond these words is foreign to me.

I was staying amid these tea estates in a beautiful house that is owned by the tea company and the housekeeping staff their employees.

The only lady staff there was this gentle lady in her mid-fifties. I called her Chechi, as my husband called her so, and she called me Amma.

Chechi served us delicious authentic Tamil meals all through the stay. She ensured she served me. It was of course a luxury for me, as being a mother and wife, I am the one who serves everyone, every meal at home. Chechi was pampering me.

Given the condition that the estate was more occupied with wild animals than people as the forests fringed the estates, I was a little cautious of going around alone. Leopards, bears, wild elephants, Indian gaurs, wild boars and of course king cobra were all in stealth mode, visible on and off, but lurking in the greens.

But I had to go around the place, as I do not have a feel of the place unless I go around walking alone. So, one evening I decided to take a stroll. I told Chechi I am going around to explore. She wanted to stop me from venturing alone, but only asked me in Tamil, do you want an umbrella? And did an action to make me understand. I replied No, through hand gestures. It was raining continuously and had just opened a bit then.

I had ventured out alone for only 10 minutes when a man, Chechi’s age, came behind me and started talking. He was talking with Chechi in the kitchen when I told her I was going out. I gathered he too was a staff there. The man told me something in Tamil and pointed to the way back to the house. I interpreted from his actions that, "Chechi said don't venture out alone very far, and she is calling you back home." Albeit the language was foreign to me, I told him, I am around and will return soon, through some actions.

I ventured safely around the estate, carrying a big stick in my hand. When I came back after an hour, Chechi did not say anything to me. But I was touched by her concern for me.

The next day, there was just the two of us in the big house. While I was working on my laptop, in the porch area, she quietly came and stood behind. I saw her and started a conversation with her. I asked her, "Chechi Family?"

She spoke in Tamil but enacted some things that left me emotional. All I interpreted of what she said was, Me and my husband, we stay around here. My 11-year-old son drowned in dam water and died a couple of years back. This information left me speechless. But I wasn't sure how to react as I could not confirm my inferences of what she said. I repented asking her that question. After this, she went and stood quiet at the back door. I could sense from her body language that she was pained. I had triggered a memory in her or was it that, I assumed of my inference and her state of mind?

I told all this to my husband when he came back.

The next day morning, my husband confirmed my inference was right, she lost her son in the same circumstances, just that he was 21 years old and not 11. My husband asked the estate manager, who confirmed this.

My heart went out to her more this time, being a mother and losing a child is the biggest trauma any parent can face.

But now I understood, her being watchful over me, sending the person to get me back and not let me venture alone, to serve me and be around. I was touched by the love this stranger showered on me.

Travel makes us a different person every time. People we meet, change us. We don't need to speak a language to connect every time, but through mind and heart.

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