The Language of Addicts

There is a unique language, a shorthand that exists between those of us who’ve battled addiction. It’s a language that’s raw, real, and deeply personal.

The unspoken words between those who share the bond of recovery tell a story, a shared story of tragedy and triumph.

I’ve been clean for decades, but this past weekend, I spent time with a young woman whose been clean for months—14 months.

I was mindful of the delicate balance between sharing and triggering. The goal was to foster connection and inspiration, not to rekindle desire or despair.

My husband, Joe, said to me when we came home Saturday night, ”You spoke differently tonight. I’ve never heard you talk to another addict. It was so real.” ?

I don’t know if his comment was just a comment, or if there was curiosity or even apprehension in his reflection.

Let me give you a bit of background. She gave me permission to share. This young woman is 29, and for 10 years heroin owned her life. I had never met her in person—she lives states away—but her father, a friend of mine, shared her struggles with me when he learned of my past.

The image people have of me—the mom, the wife, the inspirational speaker and businesswoman—doesn’t align with addiction. When my friend learned about my battles with crystal meth (brought on by the devastating effects of childhood abuse) he was shocked. And then, he opened up about his daughter.

For years he and his ex-wife tried all the things, in all the ways, to help their daughter. She'd take one step forward and five steps back, plunging deeper and deeper into the world of heroin. She was coerced and manipulated into trafficking drugs, took the fall, and went to prison. She didn’t find her path to recovery in prison—despite what many think, it’s not a place that fosters sobriety. It was after her release that she chose to change.

She’s now 14 months clean, moving out of her sober house, and becoming a beacon of hope for others. She just completed esthetician school, and her excitement is palpable.

With only 14 months of sobriety under her belt, her journey is fresh, her wounds still healing, yet her spirit is as vibrant as ever.

Saturday evening, over dinner at my friend's house, she and I spoke our language. Our conversation didn’t need the crutch of detailed stories or the recounting of past indulgences. Instead, we spoke the secret language of addicts—a language of empathy, of shared pain, and of hope. It’s a dialect formed not just by words, but by the experiences that shape us.

As we talked, I was mindful of the delicate balance between sharing and triggering. The goal was to foster connection and inspiration, not to rekindle desire or despair.

We addicts have a shorthand. We share a common language, a secret language that doesn’t require words. A shared silence, a glance, an eyebrow raised that says, “I understand, I’ve been there, and I’m with you.” It’s a powerful connection that transcends the need for explanation or justification. Our body language, our eyes, our expressions—it all tells our story.

In the short time we had together this young woman shared her story with me—with few spoken words. And what has stayed with me the most is the ordinary things in her life, which are extraordinary. . . being nervous about her upcoming esthetician exams, being excited about moving into her own apartment, and the simple joy she found in watching her little brother play baseball.

It’s rare for me to spend time with someone who is on their path to recovery, someone I can communicate with in this unspoken language, connecting through our eyes, our hearts, and our shared knowledge.

To this young woman who inspired this post—I am thinking of you. I’m proud of you. I am grateful to know you.

Choose & Become.

Thank you!

You can watch or listen to my full Trish Kendall Speaks episode here: The Secret Language of Addicts.

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Wishing you all the best on your journey to enduring success.

Choose & become!

Trish

More About Trish

Trish Kendall is proof that we each have the power to create true success—enduring success—no matter our story, experiences, or circumstances.

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Inspiring people around the world, and providing a pathway to enduring success, Trish brings candid stories, humor in the face of true hardship, simple lessons, compassion, and love to all her speaking engagements and workshops.

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